Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
Not on the clock. Day rant. But still a speed version. I am exhausted after a travel day. With work to do tomorrow…and about 7 hours of driving. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations, people. Thanks for joining me. On the road. No time or space for an airplane rant since I was pinned as a 6’3” tall guy in a tiny middle Delta seat. The woman next to me actually offered to switch seats. Damn 6:15am flights. Anyway, let’s do this. I have an hour, so this will be speed version, but as always, lots to say.
2) I will always remember Casey Kasem for announcing that the #1 song of the late 80’s was once again some glam rock song no one knew how exactly it was still up there. Def Leppard, Whitesnake, Ratt, Warrant, Great White, Winger, etc.
3) I will always remember Tony Gwynn for hitting it in the gap between the shortstop and second baseman (5.5), being the classiest guy in baseball, having that southern draw, and striking out in a LIFETIME less than some players do in 3 years.
4) I will always remember O.J. for…the same thing everyone else remembers him for. White Bronco. Still don’t get him. We all know he killed them. And he ain’t dead, so not sure why I put him on this rant aside from the 20 year thing.
5) I decided to watch US-Ghana at home. I am glad. School night before a work trip, I knocked out a lot of packing, and I was bouncing off the freaking walls. I will be in public for the Portugal match. Be aware.
And dammit, Ronaldo is one good looking dude. I acknowledge.
6) Portugal getting SMOKED by Germany coupled with the win over Ghana was the best news for the US in…years.
7) People, we still looked like shit, so you know. We had NO ball possession, and suddenly that Altidore injury with no Donovan or other striker looks…idiotic.
8) Switzerland is going to be dangerous. They are similar to us in that they are like Michigan gnat.
9) I am in Michigan for work. Had an hour free. What did I do? I jet skied, as I always do. Here:
10) Wow, Martin Kaymer. Wow, wow, wow.
11) Before everyone gets TOO excited about the French pouncing on the Honduras, they were a man up and France is no danger in the overall scope with their main guy out.
11a) Yes, I realize my tiebreaker was only the one game. It is a BRACKET. I wasn’t paying attention.
12) Is Amy Van Dyken ok? Severed spine just SOUNDS like no Bueno.
13) Bosnia might have lost to Argentina, and Messi IS a soccer genius, but Bosnia is not done, people. They are quality. Irritating quality. Like Russia, Greece, and either Japan or South Korea. Or the US.
14) I would like to thank the Spurs for making sure I don’t miss any NBA games on the road. Spanking. Wow. Kaymer like, except younger.
15) Raise your hand if you care that Amare is returning to the Knicks.
16) Raise your hand if you care exactly where Melo ends up. I hope it is a good defensive team BEFORE him.
17) Mario Chalmers just lost his job…like the Heat will draft Appier at THEIR spot. Book it.
18) I have a lot more to say about the Spurs-Heat, but you can read that elsewhere. Plus, I am still depressed Duncan didn’t pull an Elway and just retire on the spot with a mic in his hand.
19) Leonard is the REAL deal, people. I might ride that train too if I am the big three.5.
20) Because Leonard is the .5. Maybe .75.
21) Scott, give me a ring when you want to pay me the $100 AND book your trip to Denver. I can help with the travel plans. Almost forgot about that it was such a bloodbath. Scott, you see, is greatest players and chalk.
22) It is official. One of my primary hobbies is reading mock drafts.
23) Dirk might be ok with Melo in Dallas, but can we take a survey of all of the fans in that city first?
24) Are you enjoying this John Oliver squabble with the Redskins as much as me? Actually, are you just NOT enjoying John Oliver? You SHOULD be.
25) This will definitely be a speed version. I have decided to write this BEFORE I go out and get food.
26) Aaron Rodgers is a big Manziel fan. Ok. Just remember. He is only ONE Super Bowl behind you.
27) Damn, I am still angry it was the Steelers he took out in that one Super Bowl.
28) Pete Rose is hopeful that the lifetime ban will be lifted. We are not. We simply recognize you were the #1 or #2 contact hitter of all time.
29) I seriously could write an article on ONE subject if I tried. I promise. And it might be THAT one.
30) Shout out to my dad. Open heart surgery like a week ago. Apparently, my mom is waking up and he is fully dressed on the couch or outside. He will probably be fishing for marlin in like two days. Stud, dad. Love you.
31) There are only a few times I would like to be a fly on the wall, but I nominate the other day when Ray Rice and his wife were talking with Mr. Goodell as ONE of those times.
32) So, Grady Sizemore went in three months from MVP, to comeback player of the year, to the guy without a locker anymore. Amazing. I think him, Ryan Leaf, and Mandarich should go out, have drinks, and see where the night takes them.
33) Clint, just wear a face mask. Richard Hamilton made them cool. DO it.
34) If I am a Texans fan, I am wondering about the state of my franchise. They can’t even make it through preseason to name the smartest man in football your QB ? The Wonderlic WAS impressive, but I think he is a backup…for life.
35) Doc Rivers go promoted from some important sounding VP job to some not VP job with “president” in it. Noted.
36) I will be honest. About 3000 tiers behind my depression of not being in Brazil right now, I am also sad I am not in Omaha watching the Cavs win the freaking World Series. I am making ALL the wrong decisions.
37) I have not tweeted in like a day, and I am still up to 436 Twitter followers. Just saying. Join the party.
38) Don’t know who Will Mahome is? Well, you are missing out. Notre Dame, classy WR. These are three of his charges from the weekend. “Punching vehicles, head butting vehicles, fighting random people.” Geez. If you WANT on the Rant Squad, I can send you the papers.
39) The Brazil-Mexico match today was brilliant. In case you non soccer people don’t know this, getting a draw with Brazil IN Brazil is very, very good. I had Mexico advancing. I am now golden.
40) Just buy the ESPN Mag with the Pele article. It will pump you up. I read the Pele autobiography about 150 times when growing up, which oddly only led me to be the best player on the worst team in the state, and the worst player on the best team in our state. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. I also read about the doberman, Max, who knew 7 languages and got lost in a park about 150 times. Not sure what that says about me.
Not sure why I can’t find that online… GREAT book.
41) Belgium is DANGEROUS, people. They are so good, so young, that their only problem is if they get down a goal or two in a match. They are fearless, but have the talent to win against anyone. ANYONE. Or LOSE against anyone. They are like the WC Nuggets.
42) Spain-Chile is tomorrow, and if you HATE soccer, then I would say that is your best chance at seeing excitement without anything actually happening. You will have fun, dammit.
43) Tiger Woods is hitting shots. Ok. I talk shit, but DAMMIT, make it across the pond. Aside from that horrible third round you had before I went to see the local stop by Jim Rome, you are magnificent on links courses.
44) I am not going to explain the difference, people. You must be reading the wrong blog.
45) By the way, US-Ghana broke ratings records. That means, SLOWLY people are starting to realize that shit STOPS in a country during a WC match. Geez. The fact our best showing was in 1930 disturbs me. I think it was. I won’t look it up. I will pretend I am on an airplane rant. Of course, I could write a whole other page on how our best athletes pick basketball, football, or something else really cool and hip. Idea, Mr. Royal.
45a) I am even tired of posting photos. Let’s END this.
46) Luis Suarez is back 100%. That is crazy good news for their country. Losing your first match? No Bueno. Having the third or fourth best player back for the next? Bueno.
46a) Ok. So you hate the World Cup. Ok, so here are the OTHER categories:
47) That is it. I have to prep for work tomorrow and grab some grub. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.
48) Glad I got through this. I have a feeling I will be saving my next blog for my window seat on Frontier on Friday, but just ballparking.