Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. Day rant. Super speed version. It is 12:55. US-Portugal starts in 3 hours. To say I am bouncing off of walls is an extreme understatement. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations, people. I am trying to find Rocky on my TV because the US is playing a very pissed off #4 in the world country with arguably the best player in the world. Here. I will keep it simple. Picture Wake Forest right now playing Duke in basketball after a 40 point loss. You simply don’t want to go there. Ever.
2) Ok. I am looking at my list, calculating logistics, meeting my friend Vince in 90 minutes? We are doing the one sentence hook thing. I am too hyped to type. Blogging seems SO secondary to what is happening in 3 hours.
3) I called my dad today. He is doing great after heart surgery. That is great. I then talked to my mom. She loves ALL sports except soccer. I said “Mom, I am doing productive stuff before the gay pride parade and before the big match.” She said “You know I don’t like soccer.” “Mom, that does not sound like I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN.” MOM: “Well, I believe I will at least watch it.”
4) By the way, FASCINATING story about where that line came from. I wish I was this guy. http://www.bizjournals.com/kansascity/blog/morning_call/2014/06/the-history-of-i-believe-that-we-can-win.html
5) Attended gay pride parade. Not only was it awesome in all respects, not only do they respect I am a straight guy just respecting a cause, but they party harder than all of us other people. Just saying.
6) Lindsey has gone in the other room. Apparently, Korea and Algeria doesn’t interest her.
6a) By the way, read the recent ESPN Mag article about Argentina and the torture in the late 70’s. Mind blowing and sensitive.
7) I had some pops at the parade, JJ. I know you like me to announce it.
8) Shit. TOTALLY forgot I was doing one sentence each hook. NOW here we go.
9) Rocky and Karate Kid are NOT on. Closest thing I have is Predator in 20 minutes. I will survive.
10) Ok. I got distracted again. NOW we are starting the one sentence thing. NOW.
11) Whether you love him or hate him as I do, golf is more interesting with Tiger coming back next week.
12) So, if the Sixers draft Embiid, we are now convinced that the Sixers like really big, injured men on their bench hurt (get Greg freaking Oden next).
13) The Cavs hiring a wildcard foreign guy as their new head coach CAN’T be worse than their last couple draft picks.
14) Well, Irving was ok.
15) I just sent VHS tapes of Fran Tarkenton and Randall Cunningham to Michael Vick, who apparently thinks he started it all.
16) I might be one of 10 people who own the first Kip Winger solo CD, but it is still fantastic to me and you all are idiots.
17) Actually, I am the idiot, but there are some great songs on it.
18) I am not sure where Lindsey hid the cheese curds in the fridge the other night when she was sleeping and I was up and cheese hungry, but it was successful.
19) I will come clean, and admit that I lost at pool the other night, and that it took 7 games, and it was not easy for the other person (it was doubles-I don’t give a shit when someone else is dragging me down when no money is involved).
20) When I use the line “left unattended,” Lindsey knows what I mean.
22) Joe Haden said Johnny Football needs a phone valet, and that is very, very, very funny.
23) Google “manziel drake.”
24) If you don’t know about the bettor who saved $350k on the Messi goal against Iran, then we are reading different sections of the newspaper.
25) I don’t care how digital we get, going to the bar during happy hour with a PAPER feels good.
26) If Ghana would have held that 2-1 lead yesterday, EVERYTHING would be jacked up.
27) And welcome to the knockout round, Costa Rica.
28) I have good nights and bad nights, but the Jays Encarnacion is still hitting HR’s. I bet YOU saw this coming.
29) Say what you want, but I think two 78’s from a 11 year old are respectable at the hardest course on the tour.
30) I said it here last rant. Kevin Love is a prized possession. I still wouldn’t give up Klay Thompson and David Lee for him. Steve Kerr is not the GM, but I would consider that a foot being put down. Nicely done.
31) Dammit. More than one sentence. This is tougher than it seems.
32) In case you missed it, Wayne Rooney apologized for England sucking and him sucking his entire World Cup career.
33) When ESPN reported Chad Johnson had one catch in his CFL debut, were we reporting it in a positive way or negative way? Confused.
34) Roger Federer has announced he is a contender at Wimbledon. So, I guess he has hired the Monica Seles stabbing guy to knock out Djokovic, Nadal, and Murray.
35) Wow. That was a REALLY rude hook. I apologize.
36) Am I allowed to predict Tsonga will win this slam for the tenth time in a row?
37) As far as pride, I have one thing to say, people. Straight guys, I won’t say his name nor anything else regarding this, but I WILL say Lindsey has a gay friend who specializes in hooking up at bars with straight guys-be aware.
38) Joe from Sliceworks, your 1958 Back to the Future hair is officially approved after sleeping on it.
39) It is tough going, and the 400’s are not easy, but I am up to 446 Twitter followers.
40) My brother is insane on Candy Crush/ Sugar Mash. He sent me the screenshot of how they have not created any more levels. I am not sure whether to be proud of my family’s willingness to win, or my questioning the time on the game, but whatever. Nice, bro.
41) Dammit. I did more than one sentence several times there. NOW we are finishing on one sentence hooks.
42) My #1 choice school and #2 choice school are playing in the CWS finals-BOOM.
43) Wow, Algeria just scored a pretty goal vs. Korea.
44) And another.
45) And another.
46) My co-blogger has some stuff going on for three weeks, so you are dealing with me for a while.
47) I know that his stuff is better and more thoughtful.
48) Some school, although I never got feedback on how I wanted to tell you all he was parachuting into a danger zone and saving all of our lives.
49) I think we forget how good Wheat Thins are.
50) I would recommend Triscuits too. Cracked pepper and olive oil.
51) I woke up at 7am to make my work sandwiches for the week as Lindsey has taught me that my way was boring, and I am happy to report I even included one with tomato cheese sauce, cheese, turkey, and hot sauce-crazy.
52) I like talking to people in my blog who may or may not read it.
53) It makes them pay attention.
54) Ben, I only enjoy talking sports and stories with like five people, and you are one of them.
56) Scott, you are my best friend in life and can’t wait to get my $100, see you, and we are not opposed to coming to your beach town instead of you coming out here (Aspen is pretty awesome though).
57) Katz, I miss you bro, and I hope your wonderful woman and you are doing well.
58) Kyle, you are adorable and thanks for getting me into NonPoint, as they are one of my favorite workout bands-you have a lot of other reasons of course why you are one of my favorite people but I just chose a trivial one.
59) Matt, you have no idea how much you guided my life in fitness, and I always respect that my brother once dragged a TRUCK.
60) Vince, you were a mentor and are now a good friend-see you in 45 minutes.
61) Erik, you are the only person who knows Seinfeld more than me.
62) Lindsey, I can’t live without you-dream girl-seriously, can’t live without you.
63) Gabe, my co blogger, you know NBA better than Bill Simmons, and are a much better writer than me-jealous.
64) Logan, I love you despite the fact that you are a Duke fan because you know your shit and are very, very funny about it.
65) Joey, you are the coolest cross dressing gay person I know and you are the only person I know who does that.
66) Jake, the fact that we can travel 3 hours in a car without needing radio is awesome, but you still have to catch Ben as far as our sports talk.
67) Colfrin, let’s get dropped off at the bottom of Red Rocks and see if we can get tickets.
68) Rob, miss you bro-K-but I will stay stubborn and go to Panic without you this weekend.
69) Tom F-ing Wild, we still need to hang out.
70) Myles, yes…we need to talk sports (he is rafting with Cerk right now).
71) Scott K, I assume I will just walk outside of my house at some point and see you.
72) Sam, you suck. My lady’s friend is the shit and you are missing out.
73) Nick. You are the coolest TT fan I know (and the only one).
74) Peter. Technically, you agreed to go to WSP with me on Friday. Just saying.
75) I am hearing 22 Jump Street sucks.
76) Debbie and Steve, you have produced an incredible daughter that I will treasure for the rest of my days.
77) Mark Fine. He is my boss and loves sports. He doesn’t read this. Anyway, nice to be under your wing, sir.
82) I had some Greg Kelso-Alex Torres joke ramped up, but then decided it was very insensitive.
83) Bring up Tecmo Bowl 2. Look at Greg Kelso.
84) Damn, I am SO rude.
85) Please watch the 3 runs that were scored by the Brewers against the Rockies on ONE pitch.
86) Nigeria has 4 points in the World Cup. Someone find out if there is a meteor shower outside.
87) Have you ever thought during a flight that you have limited space in your seat, the person before you was in the same situation, they only arrange the seatbelts, so therefore you are basically just ingesting all of those person’s germs? Have you?
88) That is it. When you are bouncing off of walls, it is tough to concentrate on a blog. Instead of bouncing off of walls, maybe “DANCING ON THE CEILING.” Which I have decided to be my theme.
89) And in case you made it this far, I have Fillerbuster Rant headbands I am sending out. Colors are red, white, blue, and oddly black/ gold.
90) I believe that we will win. I believe that we will win. .333 etc.