I am like a software tradeshow “piece of iron.” And my lead retrieval unit I suppose is the museum steps. And maybe I also helped stop the Cold War…

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

Not on the clock, but not sure how much energy I have.  Evening rant.  Blind airplane style.  Let’s turn and burn.

EMAIL: mark_filler@hotmail.com

TWITTER: @Mark_Filler


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1)       Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for joining me.  I didn’t want to open my suitcase back up and have my three days of work clothes make it explode in the airport, so I took unmarked cold tablets from my backpack backup section.  What I more or less am saying is that I may or may not have just taken a drowsy/ PM medicine.  We will see.

2)      I still feel like shit, as traveling doesn’t exactly give you the means to baby yourself.  So, since I can hardly take a nap when I am healthy, I guess I am blogging to fill in that not nap worthy time.

3)      I am too trapped with my list in front of me in this airplane seat to organize all game thoughts at once.  They will be sporadic.

4)      The MONDAY game.  THE game.

5)      Kevin Durant doesn’t care about the scoring streak.  Well, then score 24 points in a game, take yourself out, it will be a conspiracy for the rest of our lives, and you can then relieve your concerns.  Case closed.

6)      Or, you could win this year and go try and play minor league baseball if you need a little MORE of a change of concern.

7)      I don’t know why I just said that.  I am high on cold medicine.  Sorry.  There wasn’t any real even tie in.  Geez.

8)      All in all, not bad overall for the brackets.  I lost the knockout pool on the final day, won the company pool for lack of better options in the Final game, and went undefeated overall in my consultations.  Now…

9)      We turn to the Masters pool, which will be SO much fun since I am sad that Tiger is out this year and need something to focus on.  I won this pool last year in my first try.  You pick three players from the top 15 players, 3 players from 16-30, 3 players rated over 31, and then one amateur.  I would tell you my team now, but don’t want to jinx it.  Let’s just say I DON’T have Rory or Adam Scott.  Leave those guys for the suckers.  My top 15 guys are MUCH better.

10)   Sad to see, and surprised to see,  that Digger is done on the tube for college basketball.  I will certainly miss him.  Class guy, with a twist of fun, who really knows the game.  LOVED the tribute they did for him before the game.  Funny stuff.

11)   If you didn’t read Gabe’s Chris Johnson article yesterday, please go back and read it at some point.  Solid stuff.

12)   Actually, I have been working, traveling, and sick.  I haven’t read it all the way through yet.  I am coming clean.  But, his shit is ALWAYS good.

13)   Just with different theme music (Lindsey is SO glad that CBS song is now retired for another year), this weekend we get Jim Nantz AGAIN, with his more soothing voice and that music for the Masters that makes you feel like you are taking a nap naked in a meadow.

14)   Maybe the game would have been different if Alex Poythress hadn’t been injured during their celebration.

15)   Maybe someone can tell me again that guard play doesn’t necessarily win the championship.

16)   Maybe we can examine how not only did UCONN win, but they really left the other team out of the game at most times during their entire run outside of the first game.  Beatdowns from the underdog after that game.  Or “moneylines.” Ha.

17)   Maybe someone else got on that UCONN bandwagon plus the points in every game like my consultation said.  Or did “moneylines.” Ha.

18)   Maybe at some point Calipari will start recruiting for roles as well as talent.

19)   I will come back to this maybe stuff.  Just realized these aren’t on the huge list in front of me.  Back to business.

20)   I was going to do a Bill Simmons like journal during the game, but then realized that would be rude to the game.  Not taking notes DURING the game unless ESPN has hired me as a writer.  Come ON, Bill S.  Get me on Grantland.  If I had the TIME, this thing would be LOADED with stuff.

21)   I see that long ass Samsung commercial made the game.  Yes, we know.  We have to see this.

22)   How adorable that Bill Clinton and George Bush sat next to each other during the game.  Was that seriously on purpose?  Am I missing something?  Was that a show of how both parties can get along?  Was that showing how Bush’s Texas pull got Bill better seats?  What is going on?  I need help.

23)   By the way, halftime people, UK going to the zone wasn’t as “brilliant” as the fact that it was just because UCONN’s Daniels was out until half with two fouls.

24)   For anyone wanting a reference to LAST night’s game, I was sick, I had nothing else to do except stare aimlessly at the TV screen on ESPN, and I DID watch the entire UCONN-ND women’s game.  NOT reporting on it except that it was an ass whipping, and Muffet or whatever the hell her name is better get a better team before talking trash to Geno.  There.  Reported.  Ass.  Whipping.

25)   A couple more things.  I think it is ridiculous that the assistant coaches in women’s are wearing way too much makeup.  I heard a female reporter after the game when referencing the male player counterpart say “Gaffar.”  Isn’t that some character from Madagascar or Star Wars?  Geno crying was pretty ridiculous.  Sure, I bet you this senior class was the best, and that #9 was “different,” but I think he just pushed some tears out of him for media purpose.  Nice touch, chief.  Oh, and then he said “I love these guys.”  That is not as much cliché in context.  Just say “girls” dammit.

26)   Remember a few days when I liked the Buick commercial?  Well, I officially hate it now.  You have overplayed it.  Take it off the air.  Now.

27)   What the hell.  I am on a “newer” Frontier plane and there are NO TV’s.  And the animal out on the wing as I peer to my left looks like Piranhas.  Frontier is doing weird stuff.  It is a shiny plane though.

28)   I bet you NCAA rules don’t let Kentucky’s one and doners practice free throws in practice time more.  And I guess it is beyond them to actually go to a park outside of practice and do it themselves.

29)   I hereby rank Washington Hilton elevators in my top ten all time for hotel elevators.  What’s that?  Yes, I KNOW Hampton.  It is an unfair comparison.  The good thing about the Hilton ones was there were EIGHT of them.  Can’t go wrong with numbers.

30)   That was swift.  Canucks eliminated from the playoffs one day, and I think a couple hours later their GM is now gone also.

31)   Rex Chapman defended his Calipari to Lakers and “donedeal” tweet  on TV yesterday.  He says he had good sources but that he isn’t media so he shouldn’t be blamed.  Wait, Rex.  Are you saying you have good sources, or are you saying you shouldn’t be blamed.  Just asking.  They seem like two different arguments to me personally.

32)   BUT…who CARES?  Maybe Rex is right (he is not, but this is too funny).  Two things happened immediately AFTER this tweet.  Mike D’Antoni said he felt sorry for Calipari and those rumors.  Then, rumors came out TODAY about D’Antoni being on the block.  Now, I am waiting for Calipari to say he now feels sorry for Mike!

33)   Yes.  I just used an exclamation point on that one.  Myra had the baby!  He pulled the lever on the machine, but the Clark bar didn’t come out!  You are slacking on Seinfeld if you aren’t laughing at these sentences.

34)   Not sure if I am offended or not, but I was told twice at the conference who I am a dead ringer for.  Lance Armstrong.  Since I shaved for St. Baldrick’s, and since I am in that middle ground for hair, apparently all I need is a bike, some drugs, and a yellow pullover.

35)   I have seen the DC monuments a million times, and definitely didn’t make the trek this week.  Nice of the cab driver to go by them on the way to DCA airport, which is just killer and as you know my favorite large city airport location.

36)   Philly might be in the conversation if it wasn’t for that horrifying Gate F with the bus ride.  That thing is mindless.

37)   I just said “monuments” and “on the way out.”  I just had a Kevin Costner scene flashback to that classic movie No Way Out.

38)   Seriously, watch that movie sometime.  It has Sean Young and Gene Hackman.  It is …decent.

39)   Ok.  Watchable.

40)   Ok. I was a kid when I saw it so I thought it was better, but it is still worth a look?

41)   I would get constantly lost in DC because of all of the multidirectional roads, but I DO like how there are multiple ways to get to any one point.  In Denver, if there is a wreck on I-70 or I-25, forget about it.

42)   Forgive me if this is a second mention on this as I have been light headed on cold medicine all day, but the ONE reason I am glad I am on the plane already is that my ridiculous streak of never using an airport bathroom.  It has been years with like 100 trips of various hours and flights involved.  As fast as metabolism that I have, I have not succumbed to that, and hopefully never will.  Ever.

43)   Leave it to Fox Sports as always.  When announcing her part on the finality of the game Monday, Heather Childers announced UCONN as the NAACP Champions.  Whoops.

44)   Cute story about BatKid throwing out the first pitch in San Fran’s opener.  Google it.  Five year old who is beating cancer who goes by BatKid.

45)   In case you care, Tim Hudson is 2-0 in his comeback.

46)   In case you care, Packers LB AJ Hawk also serves as a minister and just married his trainer and his lady.

47)   In case you care, impressively Pens Kris Letang is back with the team playing one of the most violent games there is TEN weeks after a freaking stroke.  Hockey players are just badasses.

48)   I am reporting that the sobbing by Pistorius in court made them adjourned for the day.  I am reporting that Pistorius couldn’t even look at his dead girlfriend’s photo.  I am also reporting that I am SUPEREMLY pissed at the lack of Pistorius jokes I am seeing in circulation.  Is it social media?  Because we have Twitter and FB, we no longer feel like conveying forwarded jokes to others?  I have not heard a PEEP.

49)   EDITOR’S NOTE:  I meant to write KU was a #6 seed, not #8 seed back in the day.

50)   OK.  COOL.  I guess we got those MLB relief awards named now so we can cross THAT off the list.  Rivera didn’t have to even wait more than 6 months for anything.  That is fast.  I am sure they will shift their focus now to more pointless playoff teams or instant replay.

51)   I am getting the feeling that those Northwestern players didn’t have a long chat with EVERYONE before this whole “union” thing, but maybe that is just me.

52)   Ok.  Clemson WR Sammy Watkins would “welcome” being brought on by the Lions.  He would be excited about working with Megatron and Mr. Tate.  That is great.  I haven’t seen ONE mock draft where you go that late, and I haven’t heard one rumor that the Lions are trading up.  What gives?  What do you know that we don’t know?  Is Matt Millen back in the fold drafting receivers every year?

53)   Watch bringing out the word “slave,” people.  Bills Brandon Spikes not only pretty much said the Bills will beat his old team, the Pats, next year TWICE, but tweeted “4 years a slave.”  Sorry your life was so rough being in that organization, maybe you should say thank you for them drafting you even with previous school problems, and glad you are doing drugs in Buffalo thinking you are suddenly good.

54)   So, so sad of story that Michigan State loved one, and Adriean Payne super fan, 8 year old Lacey Holsworth died on Wednesday night.  Thoughts and prayers galore to her family and the team.  That is just horrible timing as I bet the team was just getting back to a normal schedule after the games, but not like there is ever a good time for a child to die.  Sad.

55)   Congrats, and keep them coming, all.  UMASS Derrick Gordon announced he is a gay D-1 athlete.  Props.

56)   Weird.  The Ultimate Warrior, just three days after being inducted into the WWE HOF, died on Tuesday.  More just odd timing.

57)   I spent a lot of time in my hotel room and read lots of my magazines.  Read about Lacy T, a Raiderette who is suing everyone for illegal treatment of professional cheerleaders.  In this month’s ESPN Mag.

58)   Just kidding.  Well, about it being good enough to pass along to you.  I DID read it, but like watching the women’s basketball final, I didn’t get much out of it.  It was just there.

59)   Of course they are.  Why WOULDN’T the Lakers extend GM Mitch Kupchak’s contract.  They HAVE to lock him up, so there is no other release than to fire Mr. D’Antoni.  We could bust out a flow chart and really have some fun if you would like.

60)   It IS the regular season, and the Heat do turn up the notch come playoff time.  That being said, it is still impressive that the Nets are 4-0 against them this year.  So, get THIS.  The Heat might win the East record wise, but they lose tie breakers against everyone and their mother.  Well, at least the Nets and the Pacers.  I guess that is what I am assuming is everyone and their mother.

61)   My tapeworm is confused.  I went out and bought $40 in food for my three days in the hotel.  That is like NOTHING when I am eating normally.   Then, I got sick (happens about every 12-14 months) , meaning I had no appetite, so I went out and bought $40 in medicine.  That is just wrong.  I feel like a bad man when I throw out lunch meat before checking out of the hotel.

62)   Hank Aaron’s 715th HR anniversary was this week, and that will be the record guy I will go with, people.  That is the golden one.  Sorry, Barry.

63)   A man forgot to “save” his bracket, had all Final Four right, and missed out on $100k.  I am confused.  They had the actual bracket shown in the article.  How are we believing him them?  Either he is showing us a printout that may or may not be altered, or the site obviously saved SOMETHING.  Great article.  Thanks for clearing up my confusion.

64)   Here we go.  SUNY NY is trying to block Michael Vick from attending training camp for the jets because of his dog fighting background.  Well, they must be absolutely serious or know nothing about football, because they should have tried blocking out Geno Smith or Mark Sanchez last year.

65)   Once again, I am light headed on cold medicine.  I have no idea on how I went from a guy who beat up dogs to two guys who might not be good, but definitely don’t beat up dogs.  Moving on.

66)   Google it.  The Dodgers have released a mascot that either will scare kids or freak out people watching the game on acid.  I could be wrong, but I believe we are down to two MLB teams without a mascot, with of course the Phillie Phanatic being the best one in the league and of all time.

67)   Once again, not sure WHO watches a baseball game on acid.  Maybe my joke will have meaning when you look up the mascot’s picture.  Maybe.

68)   I would like to apologize to conservation people and the Hilton utilities crew.  When I was sick and in my room, the only time I felt ok was taking a hot steam shower.  I believe I took at least 15 showers in 3 days.  Sorry.  My work clothes were really ironed looking though.  And I didn’t set off the fire alarm like in Miami.

69)   I am not hip, so I obviously am the last to know about this.  Paul Walker made one more movie called Brick Mansions?  Cool.  I am there.

70)   Lefty telling the media that he misses Tiger was adorable.  Really, really, adorable.  We miss him too, whether it is haters or fans like me.

71)   In case you thought that the wire article about “Doc says Durant hardest to defend” was about Dr. J, it was not.  It was Doc Rivers.  I personally had to click.  I thought Dr. J was talking, and I listen when he talks.  After I found out it was Doc Rivers, I didn’t read the article.  It was a time thing.

72)   Way to go Philly, my hometown house of boo’s.  3 HR’s, 7 RBI’s, and all after big time booing of Ryan Braun.  Reminds me when you booed my guy Mike Schmidt, who PLAYED for US, when he was going 0-4 and I was 8.  Dammit.

73)   I am eating Combos, which I only eat on airplanes.  It is weird.

74)   Some part of me, WAY on the obvious outside, had a FEELING that JR Smith would at SOME point lose a game, but break the all time record for three point attempts in a game.  Go figure.  22 the other day.  Dude has no conscience.

75)   I think Yasiel Puig has these dice at home, and on each side is an injury, an infraction, or a media ploy.  He wakes up each day, throws them, and just does that.  Hey.  It is a better theory than what I have heard.   Or that he is just that much of an idiot.

76)   I hear that Johnny Football is visiting the Raiders for TWO days.  I would SO love for him to go there.  SO love it.  I have no idea why either.  I think they need each other.

77)   A fun name to watch (not on my Masters pool team) is Matt Jones.  Google his shot to not only win the PGA event last week, but also clinch a spot in The Masters this week.  Fun week for that kid.

78)   I love and respect the guy, but this first week of the season has taught me one thing I should have already known.  This is going to be one LONG, LONG season of saying farewell to Mr. Jeter.  Ugghhh.  The last time he bats in this park.  The last time is in a city that starts with a ‘C.”  The last time he plays in a dome in a night game on a day that has an “r” in it.  It will be like Bill Walton watching baseball on acid.

79)   Now THAT was freaking hilarious.  Boom goes the dynamite.  Glad I kept the earlier stuff.  Whew.

80)   Hey, OTL.  I haven’t watched the show yet, nor read the article, but I assumed all along Mr. Crittenton had gang ties.  I also knew the grass was green and the sky was blue.

81)   I report EVERYTHING when I am on a long plane ride.  Tell your freaking friends.  Call them.  Text them.  Send a freaking smoke signal to someone.  Sri Lanka beat India for the T20 Cricket title.  I just realized I don’t know that “T20” is or whether that means this is less important.  But, I am not deleting this hook.  So, tell your friends, but make sure to mention in the statement “T20.”

82)   OK.  I will add these links when I am home from airport.

83)   Guy who paints his portrait on every single drug he can think of.  Interesting.  Very.  http://www.ign.com/boards/threads/man-draws-25-self-portraits-on-25-different-drugs.452682813/

84)   A very funny, and very much supported by me, no kid list.   http://www.cosmopolitan.com/celebrity/news/childless-women?src=spr_FBPAGE&spr_id=1440_50903978

85)   You should be reading the Bill Simmonds mailbag every chance you have anyway, but here is the link for you lazy people.  It is as always fantastic, and even made me realize that Dane Cook and Dennis Rodman did a movie together.  That is crazy.  http://grantland.com/features/fixing-the-nba-playoffs/


86)   On my first night in DC, I was in a part of town I didn’t know as well as others.  I broke my own rule.  I was sick, hungry, and in a rush.  I wanted a dive restaurant with a better than average burger.  These people kept telling me 1-2 blocks down for different places.  I had at that point walked 1.5 miles.  Anyway, here are the rules I broke. A) No local in DC knows where anything is B) People who SAY they are local in DC mean they are from NOVA (Northern VA) C) I should have kept with my rule of adjective/ animal (the Black Squirrel was .4 miles away) D) MY idea of a long walk and others idea of a long walk differ greatly.

87)   That UK ALMOST genius but now is an idiot again and will keep his UK tattoo.  And THERE is your 15 minutes, sir.  Now go away.

88)   The Pistons Joe Dumars will resign.  We can sit and go over the last 10 years ad nauseum, Joe., since your championship, but the bottom line is this.  I would get out if I were you also, and the ONE recent signing that made NO sense to me was Josh Smith.  You brought in a guy who you already had someone good at his position, and then overpayed Josh.  Therefore, you then made him a 3, which doesn’t work.  He is a athletic 4.  Bad move.

89)   But you are still my boy since you were a Bad Boy with my guy, Isiah.  Always.

90)   I would pay extra to go to a Final Four that was once again in an arena.  That is where basketball is meant to be played.  This football stadium stuff is whack.

91)   Marcus Smart is entering the NBA draft.  Good call.  With the late run by his team, he won’t fall too far, and he is still a tall PG with skills and an NBA body.  He needs to work on his shot, but he will be around the topm of the order.

92)   Wow.  Manhattan retained Steve Masiello?  Talk about not being able to find any better looking girls at the party.  Now, they are giving him unpaid time to complete the part he lied about on that resume.  How cute.

93)   My goosebumps for the Masters are temporarily overcoming my severe depression about college basketball being done.  It is helping to say the least.  Then, Monday comes though.

94)   Wow, if this trip would have been ONE week later, I would have been traveling on a Sunday, traveling during The Masters, AND traveling sick.  I might have been thrown off a plane because of grumpiness.  Especially if I was on a “newer” Frontier plane WITHOUT a TV.

95)   If RGIII’s logo is SUPPOSED to look like a superhero, then I like it.  If it is NOT supposed to look like a superhero, then I don’t like it.  There.

96)   When is the Rutgers Ad going to stop talking into a microphone…ever again?  Now she is talking smack to newspapers…hoping they “die” and stuff.    Leave those things alone.  They are sad enough still about the whole internet thing.

97)   One more thing on the women’s tourney.  Maybe it is because I am recovering from the mainstream madness, but I am so impressed that somehow they squeeze all those games in.  Don’t know how.

98)   The Atlanta Hawks are making EVERYONE angry who was scouting the championship game by somehow still being in the playoff picture.  Listen, Atlanta brass, those kids are doing their very best to get in the lottery, but did YOU warn them that ten games out of .500 still would have you in?  Come on.  They are trying.  They can’t be TOO obvious.

99)   I wrote that hook because while I was at the DC place I didn’t want to be at too far from my hotel, I looked up and it was Atlanta 91, and Indiana 66 with lots of time left.  Scary.

100)                       Dammit.  I don’t know what that means.  I have written down right after the Indiana/ Atlanta thing “NBA Conferences-35 vs. 50.”  Maybe it will come back to me.

101)                       I think the little media barbs that Josh Gordon and Kyree irving are doing would be funnier if the whole town wasn’t thinking that either would bolt if given a sliver of daylight contractually.

102)                       A man got jailed trying to drive into August grounds TWICE.  Once is funny without the arrest.  Twice where now you can’t even watch the damn thing in jail is just silly.  I am pretty sure I am spot on saying that a cell block’s first choice in a survey of inmates would NOT be to watch a Tigerless Masters tourney.  Just ballparking though.

103)                       They just stared me in the face.  I am in MD, I like crab, and wanted some chips.  Crab potato chips.  They were delicious for about a half of bag.  Then, you realized it was a little overkill.

104)                       After early estimations, it appears that UK actually won in student arrests in post game activities 31-30.  But luckily for UCONN, they have the women to get those 2-3 more to push them over the edge.  Good arrest victory.

105)                       Let’s end with two hooks.  One.  The Masters.  I had planned on giving you a complete breakdown of why, but am tired, grumpy, and just want these plane wheels to be on the freaking ground.  So, my prediction is Dustin Johnson as the winner, with Jason Day and Phil Mickelson getting 2nd and 3rd.  None of you are in my pool so I don’t care.  And for the record, just in case Mickelson implodes, I originally did NOT have him in my picks.  I had Stenson, but after looking at Vegas odds and knowing they are not dumb, I had to take either Phil, Adam Scott, or Rory.  I don’t like Adam Scott, and don’t trust Rory.  And I don’t like Phil, but he does do well on this course.  It is what it is.

106)                       Finally, snap judgements on the MLB season.  The 2-8 Dbacks are allowing their players to eat that #25 HOTDOG.  Seattle is finally trying to NOT dig a hole they can’t get out of.  The wildcards in the AL might come from the Central and West, because it looks like the East is going to beat the shit out of each other.    The Astros have 3 wins already, meaning that they are on a killer improvement pace.  The fact that Detroit has played 5 games and that Arizona has already played 10 games confuses me.  Mr. Trumbo from Arizona must be on drugs as he has 5 HR’s in 10 games, meaning he is on an 81 HR pace.    Ok.  I am done.  This entire hook is a joke as you know.  Let’s get a larger control group.

107)                       Sorry for any editing oversights.  I am literally exhausted.

108)                       And by the way, I am too tired to read through the thing for a non sports theme.  So, let’s just say that I am Rocky, or a software selling/ tradeshow sick piece of iron as Drago would say.  I rocked that shit, and not one person asked me if I was sick even though I ran to the shower ten minutes after the show closing.  Boom.

109)                       That is it.  I am going to turn off my computer and see if I can sleep away the rest of this flight, but most likely no.  Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro  Peace.

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