I ain’t got TIME to bleed…

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

Happy Labor Day.  I can’t take another day off from blogging.  I am about to explode.  So, here is a relaxed one before I go enjoy my day.  Hope you enjoy.

I feel the need…the need for speed.

LOTS to get to.  This will be on a relative clock ONLY because if I do each hook all the way, I would be here all day, and there is always tomorrow to rant.

1)  Tony Stewart and Office Depot are parting ways.  Damn, and I JUST was getting to know what car he drove.  Oh well.

1a)  If that last hook didn’t prove that I don’t rank these hooks and just look off a legal paper list, I don’t don’t know WHAT will.

2)  I might have made fun of him for being a waste of talent, but KNOW I am FULLY rooting for Andy Roddick at the US Open since his retirement announcement.  How cool would that be, and he has the POTENTIAL to do it.  With Nadal out of the mix, this is his chance to ride into the sunset like John Elway.

3)  I am sure they had a great TEAM and the players drafted to the NFL are proof of that.  That being said, you need a leader.  Congrats to Michigan State, and they DO have a solid team, but Boise just looked LOST without Kellen Moore.

4)  The NFL and their full time refs are talking again.  The irony.  Who is reffing THAT discussion?

5)  Still a quiet story, and I am BAFFLED by how off the radar it is, but the NHL players and owners are STILL without a CBA.  With Pronger back healthy for the Flyers, why does it have to be THIS year they can’t find a resolution?  Last season would have been just fine with me.

6)  So star US player Clint Dempsey gets unhappy with his OK team, and then decides the answer is to sign with Tottenham, which I haven’t even HEARD of and hasn’t won a game this year.  Are you trying to win, Clint, or just trying to exist as one of the US players over there in the Premier league?

7)  Kevin Kolb is on a good Eagles team and can’t be the starter.  Kevin Kolb gets signed by the Cardinals for big money after making less than 10 starts.  Kevin Kolb is ready to show his skills this year.  The Cardinals name John Skelton as their starter for week 1.  Kevin, you must be HORRIBLE in practice.

8)  The Pats owner says that Brady is better than Montana.  Ummm.  Let’s take a step back, bro.  Correct me if I am wrong, but Joe never LOST in the big game.  Brady has lost TWO…to the same team.  If he wins ONE of those two, I would say he is in the same sentence and ballpark, but for now, let’s just say that Joe was MJ, and Brady is still Kobe.  IN the conversation, and step AWAY from the mic on that one.

9)  If you didn’t think that football in Texas is at another level than every other state in the US, just know that a HIGH SCHOOL just got a $60 million stadium.  Allen High School then played their first game and beat the defending state champions.  I remember MY stadium back in New Jersey, and it was pretty much two sets of bleachers with a couple of wheeled in snack bars.

10)  Maria Sharapova has called off the engagement with Sasha Vujacic.  Sasha, give me a call and let’s go out for some beers.  I HAVE to know if her loudness on the court translates…never mind.  That hook started going a wrong direction.  My mom AND CEO read this blog occasionally.

11)  I went to the grocery store Saturday morning.  Here are my notes from that excursion:

-I broke the rule of thumb and went hungry.  I am proud to say that the only “ridiculous” thing I walked out of there was squirt cheese.

-I should NEVER go out drinking with squirt cheese waiting for me at home.  To Lindsey’s horror, I squirted the ENTIRE bottle directly into my mouth, shot by shot, when we came home from being out.  That stuff is the bomb.  Whenever my dad went grocery shopping, I would ONLY help unpack the groceries to see if it was a squirt cheese/ Ritz crackers trip.  Highlight and THEN some.

-I ate Cheerios straight up when I was a kid.  To that point, I once got a Cheerios stuck up my nose because of the handful I would shove into my mouth.  Anyway, Mom, I still eat them religiously…but with milk only.  I have matured in ONE area.

-Someone else has figured out that reduced fat Cheez-Its are BETTER than the original ones.  They are ALWAYS out of stock.

-I am SO glad that Philly cream cheese has a salmon flavor.

-They were out of my shampoo except for the extra large bottle.  I now won’t have to buy shampoo until 2014.  Stop clearing out the row, you other dry scalp people.

12)  I hear that US Olympiad Gabby Douglas was asked to get a nose job back in the day.  Not only does that show how crazy and intense the women’s gymnastic scene is, but a nose job AND hairdos?  She looks fine, and has a gold medal or two.  Go eat a bowl of Corn Flakes, and leave the kid alone.

13)  Sad, sad story.  A Idaho St. coach gets electrocuted while saving a dog.  Breaks my heart.  http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2012/more/08/31/irigation-ditch-electrocution.ap/index.html

14)  Bill Walton is BACK.  He will be announcing Pac-12 basketball games this year.  He HAS to announce, people.  Where else are you going to hear “that could be the greatest steal in the key by a left handed guard from Alaska…EVER?”

14a)  One of my FAVORITE gifts of all time (THAT is ironic) is from my buddy, Scott.  He got Bill Walton’s autograph.  It says I think he is “greatest of all time.”  Too funny.

15)  Good for Charlie Manuel, and jeers to Jimmy Rollins.  No matter HOW bad of year your team is having, Jimmy, you should be benched in a HEARTBEAT for not running out a fly.  You are getting paid TOO much for playing a kid’s game to not be giving your all.  I lost some respect for you, bro.

16)  Lindsey and I are starting the interesting part of the year for our relationship.  Her life revolves around Oklahoma football, which is on Saturday.  MY life revolves around the Steelers, which is on Sundays.  Not a lot of quality time to fit in each weekend.

17)  The Seahawks surprisingly released TE Kellen Winslow, Jr.  He must have done something bad off the field, because a) his athletic body should be a good enough reason to keep him ALONE and b)  you aren’t THAT good, Seattle.  You need to keep what you can.

18)  So, let me get this straight.  Sprinter Pistorius becomes a story of the Olympics because he doesn’t have legs, and he LOSES the Paralympics 200 final?  Flowchart needed, people.

19)  I played Lindsey at Scrabble the other night.  I am not the DUMBEST guy, but she TOTALLY whipped my ass in the two games we played.  It was like watching Oklahoma State play Savannah State in football (ok, she never got up 84-0, but you get my point)

20)  Moving to hear the Penn State fans chant before their first game the other day.  Also, moving in the other way to watch them lose to the powerhouse that is Ohio.  Not Ohio State.  OHIO.  Wow.

21a)  UVA gets you guys next, Penn State.  I don’t give a shit about you and your struggles THIS week.  You are going DOWN.

21)  Notre Dame crushes Navy in their opener.  You might say it was the talent on the field.  I say it was the normally regulated Navy midshipmen being let loose in Dublin, Ireland.

22)  Shame to see the fan at the Georgia Dome fall to their death.  Shame also to find out they were drinking.  It is what it is, and everyone should have fun, but we all kind of wish that fan would have just kept tailgating in the parking lot.

23)  If you care, the US women’s soccer coach stepped down the other day.  I don’t care, so I will just keep moving along here since it is a day I am supposed to be out enjoying.

24)  I love Bourne SO much that I watched 45 minutes of the Ultimatum in Spanish just because it was on TV and even though I own the thing.  I knew all the lines, and the fight scenes were the same.  Oddly enough, this was at the same time I was squirting cheese straight into my mouth.

25)  There is a legal suit in the works about paying NCAA players.  I have said it before and will say it again.  I personally think they should be paid, but I can’t figure out a way to draw the line somewhere.  Are you telling me the star CB for Bama gets the same amount as the water polo guy from San Diego St.?

26)  The Pats cut Deion Branch.  Everyone seems concerned about Tom Brady losing his Super Bowl weapon.  Ummm.  They haven’t won it in a few years, and he has aged since then.  I am sure Brady will be just fine (and he BETTER be, as he is my fantasy QB).

27)  Congrats to the girl who played QB in a Florida high school game.  I think there is a limit to what you can do with them in male football, but congrats regardless.  By the way, this chick didn’t do it in Alaska or Utah.  She did it in one of the top three hotbeds in high school football.  That is SOLID.

28)  Fantasy owners celebrated yesterday as Jones-Drew reported to camp.  No contract yet, and the Jags won this battle, but I personally am just glad to see that someone losing $30k a DAY decided to come back in line.  Plus, he is no dummy.  The window of opportunity for NFL RB’s is quite small.

29)  USC cruises.  Sure, it wasn’t a powerhouse they beat, but they looked GOOD.  THAT is the best team in the nation, people.  Without a doubt in my mind.

30)  It was fun to be at a CSU bar when they took down their nemesis, the Colorado Buffaloes.  I had to act like I cared since my girl is a CSU girl, but I thought the oddest and coolest thing was that the balcony of the CSU bar is literally RIGHT across the street from the Buffaloes bar.  Each team can literally yell stuff at each other.

31)  A Division III QB threw for 736 passing yards Saturday.  That is absurd.  He broke the NCAA record, but the scary thing it this.  It is actually only 20 yards MORE than the Division I record, which you wouldn’t expect.  David Klingler, one of the biggest wastes of QB talent EVER (I will let you off the hook today, Jeff George), threw for 700 plus back in the day.

32)  Dwight Howard puts out an ad saying how much he loves Orlando.  Dude, just let it go.   You screwed them, bottom line.  They love you as much Cleveland loves LeBron.

33)  I just watched Serena SMOKE this chick 6-0, 6-0.  John McEnroe was glad the match was over quickly.  He had a LOT of trouble with Hlacackova’s name.  Here is my hook on this.  I think Serena purposely talks SO quietly even though she looks like the female Predator (no offense, Serena.  It is what it is (that is per Jim Rome-got to give credit where credit is due)).  I bet you she is a loudmouth when not on camera.

33a)  THAT is a movie I haven’t seen lately.  After I force Lindsey to watch Under Siege, I might have to find time to make her watch Predator.  “You are ONE, UGLY, motherf$%^%$.”

34)  There is a GREAT article about Peyton Manning and his work ethic in ESPN Mag this issue.  Check it out.  My favorite line was this.  A Denver CB said that if you were in the parking lot at dawn of their facility, there would be two cars.  The guy who runs the building, and Peyton.  This story would be MORE awesome if Jon Gruden was his coach (the hook is THERE.  FIND it.).

35)  That is it, even though I have more to say.  I will save it for tomorrow.  I want to go enjoy my day.  Tiger just pulled to within 3 strokes, and I will definitely see how THIS plays out.  Anyway, enjoy your holiday, and hope you enjoyed the rant.  Thanks for reading.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.

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