I ACTUALLY helped a LOT.
Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. Day lunch rant. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations, all. Thanks for joining me. This will take you as long to read as UVA basketball will be tied for first place in the ACC. Not long.
2) That is actually true for the moment. They can’t win a freaking non conference road game, but apparently have decided to destroy the ACC. Winnable game Saturday against NC State, and then off to Cameron, where reality will settle in.
3) Well, this just gets more fun. The Winston accuser will sue the QB. By the time the thing is resolved, he probably WILL have a lot of money to take. If you can’t get him in the right or wrong scenario, I guess you might as well try and get some money from the lad. Big Ben called me last night and said Jameis is blowing up his phone, but he doesn’t feel like helping him.
4) Andrew Bynum has been called by eight NBA clubs evidently. That is not a surprise. It doesn’t matter whether your brain size vs. body weight is reflective of the Stegosaurus mold. The guy has skills and is 7’0” and 285. His phone we will ring. What is scary is if he gets picked up and has HALF of a good season, he will most likely once again command a large amount of money for a new contract.
5) Luol Deng is excited to be Cav. When questioned more, he clarified that he was normal excited, not Tim Tebow excited.
6) I have no idea why Ric Flair’s change of allegiance from the Panthers to the 49ers is such a big story. It is not exactly like a Laker fan flipping to the Celtics. It is the freaking Panthers. The person at the grocery line the other day was like the first Panther fan outside of Carolina I have ever met.
7) EDITOR’S NOTE: There was no late game. The game I referenced yesterday was for tonight.
8) I have no editor.
9) The Nets have won FOUR games straight as they are getting healthy and gelling better. In the East, winning four straight means going from like a high lottery pick to the #3 seed.
10) I read a headline and almost fell off of my chair. Popovich HUGGED someone? Van Gundy? We should name yesterday a holiday from here out. One year from yesterday, we all have to surprise someone or a large group of people with a show of crazy affection. “Pop Day” works for me.
11) I know I am beating a dead horse, but just saying. Wichita State basketball won again. 16-0.
12) I am not sure WHY I had Michael Bradley switching from Roma to Toronto FC on the list next to me, but I assume it is because someone is switching from somewhere on THAT side of the ocean to THIS side of the ocean for soccer.
13) Jay Gruden is the new Skins coach. Talk about a big time hire. DC is going nuts.
14) In all seriousness, when the big names are staying out of the mix, and with this many hot COLLEGE coaching jobs out there, I think they picked a good one from what is left. Good genes at a minimum, right?
15) Not that his hire will help anyone in the art of coaching RGIII, who apparently OWNS that team.
16) Wire headline: “Insane Clown Posse sues FBI.” That is funny, and just glad I can actually say I saw them live in college. That was an…odd….show.
17) Sorry, Logan. I need to put up a picture. The below is an actual letter from a 7 year old to a real scientific group asking them to make her a dragon. Absolutely adorable.
18) Sorry again, Logan. When a model and actress are kissing on the sidelines of a Knicks game, not only do we know it is the most exciting thing happening at the arena, but that it has to go in my blog photo style.
19) The Suns beat the Wolves on buzzer beater last night. Glad I chose to watch what turned out to be a pretty fun game to watch, and those Suns are downright fun.
20) Channing Frye is the OLDEST member of the Suns. Process THAT one.
21) I have gone out to happy hour every night this week. It has been exhausting. And expensive.
22) That is of course all pretend in my world, and just am finishing off my pretend outings to rationalize the $390 stolen out of my gym locker over the weekend. I think that I have covered the full amount with my pretend fun. What a crazy week. I don’t think I met ONE person on ANY pretend outing.
23) Things just seem right now. Not exactly sure WHERE he went the last year, but there was a Leandro Barbosa siting last night, and it was with the Phoenix Suns. Cue The Fray.
24) (Because it is 2009 again)
25) Just saying. CU won an OT conference game on the road last night against Washington State, and is 14-2 overall. Don’t sleep on that squad.
26) I don’t know what is going on. My dreams are oddly violent AND I actually can remember some of them. The other night, I destroyed about 100 people with odd weapons down this long corridor until getting to the end where there was a swamp. Luckily the higher up demon in the swamp let us go. Oddly, I spent the next 10 hours (it seemed) cleaning that same corridor of the mess I had just made, complete with mops and rags. Luckily, I had killed all of those people with the help of Jason Bourne, so he helped me clean up all of the blood too.
27) James Franklin may or may not have been offered the job at Penn State. What IS a fact is that Vandy alum and PGA top 10 golfer has offered James golf lessons for LIFE if he stays at Vandy. Tennessee has some nice tracks. I might take him up on that offer if I was James. Penn State is cold.
28) In case you live in a bubble, the funny soccer story of the week is this. A minor league player was traded to another team for room and board. Not room and board for the year. JUST room and board for their visit to play the team that one time. It came out to a little over $4k. I think being traded for $4k sounds better. Why didn’t they just say THAT?
29) I don’t know if I am laughing because it is funny. I don’t know if I am laughing because it is from the creators of Eastbound and Down. What I DO know is that I chuckle when the Chozen commercials come on. “Spelled with an OZEN.”
30) Lateral move? What the hell? Bama’s OC went to Michigan to be…an OC. I don’t get it. Maybe it is the ONLY way he can say “it isn’t ALL Nick Saban when we win.”
31) Any takers on that JR Smith trade yet, Knicks? Anyone even return a call? And although the guy is irritating, can you send me a flowchart on A) how you will score at all without his gunning B) how you intend on rationalizing to Melo that he STILL needs to pass the ball when he is gone?
32) Congrats to Austin Hatch. Kid survived TWO plane crashes, immediate family all dead, went to Michigan to play ball, and just hit his first shot last night. Great stuff.
33) Hmmm. Different meanings of “feared” I guess and at least the Lions rule THIS category. Lions Suh and Johnson were #1 and #2 with 61 and 48 votes for most feared NFL player in the league. No one else got more than 30 votes. I am not exactly sure what my point was here. I guess it was because Calvin Johnson was on a list with Suh. Moving on.
34) Dennis Rodman says that he regrets his rant and that he was drunk. Makes sense. Aliens coming to get Rodman hasn’t panned out yet, so let’s just laud him and give him some fake government ambassador title and make him stay there. We can say we will still drop down booze from helicopters.
35) Auburn RB Tre Mason will enter the draft. And I just put Me, Myself, and I on my earphones. Rule is this, people. If you break a record associated with Bo Jackson, just go pro and guard your hips.
36) UNC is 0-2 in the ACC presently. UNC fans could shout from the rooftops that the last time the team started 0-2 in the conference, they won the title. True. But I recollect that team had a couple outside shooters. This team does not. Miami typically doesn’t play almost the whole game with a zone. They did against UNC. I am ballparking this, but I would bet that they will see the Cuse play a zone on Saturday. Just ballparking it though.
37) That is it. Gotta go. Hope you enjoyed or at least are more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.