How can this NOT be the theme? It is very simplistic how I choose themes.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Evening rant.  Speed version.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1. Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).Post Steelers game rant.
2. JJ.  Pops.  (he doesn’t even read this anymore)  I complement him every blog saying he is one of the best people and salespeople I have ever been around, but so far…crickets.
3. Bob, so sorry.   I just announced that Brett Hundley was back in the Heisman watch, and then he loses.  That is why I just sit on my couch instead of being hired by ESPN.  Now, I hope you lose to everyone.  Sorry.
4. For the record, Fever Pitch and For the Love of the Game are my two best chick flicks that also get your fix on sports. Use these movies wisely, gents.  Tell me how your sex session is after.  Both bad ass movies that nuzzle in love and sports.  
5. Clear the mechanism.  Boom.
6. Yesterday was one of the greatest sports days of all time, and although I love her, I was glad that Lindsey was gone for the weekend. I have three TV’s.  One was on OU-TCU, one was on Stanford-ND, another was on Ole Miss-Bama, and I needed another TV for the baseball game.
7. I actually DIDN’T lose my Mandalay Bay blackjack coin.  Cleaned my wallet today and found it.  Stellar.  For those confused people, read previous blogs.  I want REGULAR readers.
8. Did you SEE the band member catch the kickoff yesterday in the Stanford-ND game? That was dirty.  Automatic legend.
9. I love my Steelers, but I truly hate other Steelers fans.
10. I tried to rent the UVA-Pitt game, and found out it was $25. So, basically, I could rent a PORN on Direct TV and save $10.  That is malicious.
11. Wisconsin looks SO good every year until ONE game. I guess the fact that Northwestern was SUCH a bad bet for 4 weeks that I was sold on proves that theory.
12. I know sports. I knew Auburn would win against LSU.  I had NO idea it would be that bad.  I have never seen LSU beaten, young or experienced, home or away, that bad.
13. At least Pittsburgh covered the spread playing against arguably the second worse team in the NFL. Browns and Texans next.  Welcome to a winning record we don’t deserve, boys.
14. I admit to not going out and watching UVA and Pitt. That being said, I loved that it was a non issue for a UVA win.  I feel like the Steelers and Cavs are the same team-not deserving a winning record.
15. John, you were weird today hanging out. Give me a call.  We will talk.  You can’t expect to meet a couple while they are doing bottomless mimosas after you have had a tough week and NOT feel a little behind.
16. I love the Audi line “stray the course.” Lindsey and I might BOT get an A5.  
17. I talk about it, but I am a Jeep guy through and through. 
18. I played 22 games of pool this weekend. I won 22 games of pool.  Don’t mess with me. Make it easier on yourself.
19. Should I tell Lindsey that I know she is officially sleeping when she snores?
20. Glitter has ruined many relationships. Probably a million.  Aside from the photo of Lindsey kissing a gentleman’s very nice abs at a bachelorette party, I still am questioning her on how there was glitter all over her face today.
21. We are stronger than that though.  And I am totally just joking.  
22. Some dudes go to strip clubs when their lady goes out of town. I sat on the couch with Cheetos draped all over me watching the incredible football games.  
23. And occasionally remembering there was baseball on.
24. Watching the Broncos game, live in Denver, and hoping Arizona pulls this shit off.
25. I think Dallas Cowboys fans MIGHT be worse than Steelers fans…besides me.
26. I literally say two things during an entire Steelers game.  IF you are listening.
27. Pay it forward. When you are really hungry, please say you are “temple of the dog.”
    • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUb450Alpps
28. The people who don’t laugh at the new Ickey Woods commercial either don’t like football, or aren’t old enough. My fiancée falls into the latter category.
29. Hey, John (different one). I bartended for 14 years and have never kept someone outside of a bar for a non fighting offense for two plus years.  You suck.  Shame I used to come to your bar with limited money, and now I have money and I am not allowed.  Skyler, Jason.  You are grouped into this hook.  Miss the $3 breakfast burritos, but don’t miss the absolute pretentious bullshit.  What is nice is that I know I wake up every day happier than you because I have Lindsey.  Pub On Penn.  Go there with a raised eyebrow.
30. I have such an abrasive personality, drink my share, am from Jersey, and still at 41 have NEVER gotten into a bar fight. I once took a karate kid stance to get myself OUT of a fight, but have always stood my ground.  AND, any almost fights I have gotten into have ALWAYS been about a girl.  You can insult the HELL out of me and the only reason we might fight is because I am laughing at you.  
31. Why aren’t there more kickers who both punt and kick field goals in the NFL?  They both use their feet, and wouldn’t it save a roster spot?
32. The Cleveland Browns are a very pesky team. If Josh Gordon can stop smoking pot, they will be a contender in 2 years.
33. How is Denver the place that invented the line “incomplete.”
34. Lindsey has now stopped snoring.  DEEP sleep.
35. I wish Troy Pomalalu would jump over the line much, much more.
36. I hate Broncos fans. I watched a guy today who got early to the bar for the game, and didn’t even look up once while 5 games were finishing in an exciting style.  Football fan?    No.  Denver fan?  Yes.  Stupid.
37. I love that commercial with the dorky guy getting looks from hot chicks while the Cadillac is right behind him.
38. I got 20 hours of sleep while Lindsey was away. I am such a great guy.
39. Someone asked me to take a picture this past week.  They owned a Samsung.  I got scared picking the thing up.
40. I would like to thank all of my friends who texted me because they knew Lindsey was away. I felt special.
41. No one texted me. Blackjack Pizza did.  They had a $5.99 special.
42. If someone could meet me for beers and somehow explain how NCIS and Big Bang Theory are really good shows, I will buy the tab.
43. The blond from BBT is pretty hot though. Priceline chick.  
44. There was a dog at the bar today. It was a collie-Australian Shepherd mix.  Am I mixing up breeds, or does that sound like NOT a fair fight/ Ray Rice thing to me?
45. I might take a Rip Van Winkle nap. Someone nudge me when New Orleans starts acting like a Super Bowl contender…or a playoff team.
46. The Rip hook was a carry over from the last blog with Dion Waiters.  Read more often and the jokes will just FLOW.
47. These hot dog guys have all the ratings, but I think I could eat more cheese over a ten minute period…than anyone who is breathing in this world.
48. If you drink, ok. If you don’t like laughing, ok.  But if you just want to enjoy a great, funny article, then click this link.  http://gadling.com/2013/09/10/australian-pig-steals-beer/
49. I wake up each day and debate on whether ANY Dr. Dre song, Regulators, or Today Was a Good day are the greatest rap songs of all time.  I have written this blog without needing my AK. 
50. I enjoyed going out on Friday, but think I might have missed one of the best baseball games in a long time between the Dodgers and Cardinals.
51. I like Macaroni Grill. I think a new low has been set though.  “I like big Crust?”  Sir Mix a Lot?  Fire your ad person…now.
52. Not that SMU is a player in the playoffs, but nice win by East Carolina over them this past weekend.  They are for real, people.
53. I don’t know about you, but I am SOOOOOO glad this Kenny Trill thing has been put to rest. THANK you, Miss. St.
54. SO, I guess we need to set our alarm clock BEFORE a Royals game?
55. …because they go to extra innings.
56. How much does Ozzy Osbourne make every time Crazy Train is played at a game? Just curious.  
57. I am not done, and not made much progress this weekend, but Inferno is SO dope thus far.
58. I didn’t know how to console Lindsey after the loss at TCU. But, I explained to her that since everyone else and their mother lost, they are still in the mix.  Beat Kansas State, Baylor, and Oklahoma State (assuming they still keep doing well), and you have everyone’s attention.
59. I still think Michigan State is the best one loss team in the nation.
60. They didn’t cover this weekend though.
61. “tempers” “Puig.” “benches clear.”  Peas in the pod.
62. I am who I am. I sometimes wake up wondering why people don’t like me and why I don’t have a crew, but then realize I don’t give a shit.  I am true to my family.  I am true to my lady.  I work harder than you and the two people next to you.  I don’t have a pet, but would be good to whatever pet I had.  And I have improved in life.  I kind of blaze my own path for better or worse.
63. I heard the story, but can’t imagine Tom Watson going off on the Ryder Cup team on Saturday unless he had too much bourbon.
64. Because I have never had too much bourbon.
65. Amazing how I can hear Peyton yell “Omaha” now that he is out of Seattle.
66. Thoughts and prayers to Taysom Hill. Great story cut short.  I assume he is 43 years old after like 14 missions.
67. Sad to hear Bironas had a .218 BAC. I liked the story better when he randomly just left and maybe was not all there mentally.  Sober, unhappy, and harmless.
68. You might not think that Nick Young missing 6-8 weeks is not huge, but have you VIEWED the Lakers roster outside of Kobe?
69. #1067^th reason you need to read Deadspin. http://deadspin.com/ice-skating-canadian-national-anthem-singer-trips-on-ru-1642474906
70. Ricky Rubio has said he is happy Kevin Love is gone. If Ricky would have reached 30% of his potential thus far, I would care about this story 30%.
71. This is just sick. If you like pushups or basketball, just click.  I promise it isn’t porn.  Thanks for passing it along, Matt.  http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=11629705
72. I am sure you drove a Lincoln before you got rich, Matthew.  And don’t sell me the Lincoln Lawyer crap.  True Detective has obviously has made you believe that we didn’t previously think you were a horrible actor.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/11/matthew-mcconaughey-lincoln-true-detective_n_5805048.html
73. This was the best scene by far.  Kind of joking.  
74. Think about this. There have been SIX games between ranked college football teams up to this point.  There were SIX games of the same sort YESTERDAY alone.
75. I am wondering how many QB’s Florida actually has after sitting Driskel.
76. Lucky win, Hayter.
77. Warning to all readers. I am going to start a shout out for 5 readers (good or bad) every single blog.  You can either ignore and assume you are not in it, or have to read because you MIGHT be there.
78. Let’s do five right now just for fun. No full names.  I am not stupid.  Hmmm..   Cerk.  You are one of my favorite people in the world-don’t let my new desk at work ruin that.  Ben.  Sucks we aren’t on the same team anymore, because our sports/ party conversation in Baltimore on the water should have been recorded and sold.  Ponto.  I have a feeling you are happy that I am off your team and on the gaming team although possibly you respected how hard I worked.  Mr. Royal.  I am checking flight prices to Savannah, because I love your stuff, and I love when a Pats fan comes up to me at work and says “hail Mr. Royal.”  Mom.  Glad Dad is doing well, sorry that this last project has made me less responsive, and I promise to fix it-you made me who I am and I love you so much.
79. That is it. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.