Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
NOT on the clock. Took off yesterday, and, JJ, this is what you always ask me to do. Let’s do a rant after a few pops. Boom goes the dynamite.
1) Dibs to Lindsey’s friend, Nick. He found a deal where they give 10 people a $100 tab to host their fantasy football league draft. That is a joke, and I will put “draft” in quotes like Nick did. I still want to go.
2) I loved Charlie Manuel, but I have been asking for Ryne Sandberg to be a manager for YEARS, You might be a Chicago boy, but I personally welcome you. You can’t do any worse with that talent.
3) If you just heard that Maria Sharapova hired Jimmy Connors as her coach, unlearn that knowledge. He is already fired. Stephens is GOOD. That lost match doesn’t seem like a travesty.
4) I am watching The Departed. Nice that everyone in the movie gets to NOT act out an accent. By the way, brilliant movies solve problems with clever answers. The Departed just kills everyone.
5) But it IS the first film I had respect for Leonardo after Titanic.
6) You might hate tennis. You might forget the longest Slam match like EVER. You might not care that he is the Randy Johnson of tennis. BUT, Isner beat Djokovic this weekend. That is a BIG step. How do you feel about THAT, other A-Rod?
7) I think that John Lackey doesn’t HAVE to talk so much, but since we all hate A-Rod, I concur.
8) The Warriors have been valued at $800 million. If Iguadola actually plays to about 90% of his POTENTIAL, they are worth a million.
9) I am glad that Ohio players have taught us what it means to be suddenly placed on a sexual offender list that goes 20 years.
10) Dibs to the Man U chief. I am only writing this for Logan. Seriously. I check whether he reads this shit. There you go, Logan. I talked about non-WC soccer. Take THAT and rewind it back.
11) Don’t follow me on Twitter. Whatever. The day you realize that Twitter is bigger than Facebook will be the moment I tell you the grass is green and the sky is blue. Lindsey can continue to post photos on FB. I will continue to speak to her. One day, she will realize that she is on the wrong medium. THANKS for the followers, peeps. Moving towards the 50 followers stair step spot.
12) Dave. I saw you at cultivate. Don’t be a snob, Alabama is going to be good, and I know more about football or Bear Bryant than you have ever dreamed. Bama snob. Acknowledge, please.
13) You can tell that college football practice has started. Lindsey is taking a nap and there is no news about Johnny Football.
14) We are one hour from Dexter and True Blood. I will make sure I am still blogging when I wake up my lady.
15) Do I wake up my girlfriend when I know she might put Snapped or something else horrific?
16) I went to Cultivate yesterday for an hour. Still proving that Denver is “learning” to be a big city, you all had that party from 11-7 on ONE day? I won’t crunch the numbers, but that was like a low ball Panic concert (that was actually a compliment), and you all could have made money ALL weekend.
17) FB people. Seriously. Switch over. Twitter makes you think. 140 characters. Oh, and important people think FB is dumb. Just saying. I learned that on Twitter.
18) I sometimes catch myself staring at the plant in the corner wondering where Johnny Manziel is doing anything wrong. You have to have goals.
19) Just warning you. I have a LOT to say tonight. Just a heads up.
20) I just talked to a guy who the Steelers was his “second” team. Nice knowing you, guy.
21) And yes. Jake Plummer retired because he loved HANDBALL. That is a true story.
22) Ryan Braun doped in college? This does not surprise me.
23) I think I am supposed to wake up Lindsey right now for prep before Dexter, but it is SO peaceful.
24) What does it mean? To get a fast start for Man U? Win ONE game. Sorry, Logan.
25) A-Rod says the report is not true that he leaked info. We believe EVERYTHING you say, bro. You are an idiot.
26) Brady gets healthy. He throws a TD on first drive. He just LIVES a magical life.
27) Copy and paste. Soriano drives in 4.
28) Usain Bolt won the 200. Seriously, sign him up for the long jump OR the national anthem and I am good. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kU9XwcOIfI
29) That was REALLY funny by the way.
30) I spent Saturday morning moving OUT a dining room table and moving IN another. Hey, Julius (real estate guy), I hope you know your business. I am tired, and truly think hat the Colorado table looked GOOD.
31) Miguel Tejada got a 105 game ban. If you watched Moneyball, you know that is funny. How is an MVP guy mentioned ONCE during a film about HIS team?
32) If you have no life and live in NYC, then I guess I should mention that Geno Smith was doubtful vs. the Jaguars in their glorified practice shown on TV.
33) If one more person asks me who the Steelers play in preseason, I might commit a crime.
35) Tom Brady says his hardest loss was the Giants in Super Bowl XLII. My bank account concurs, bro.
36) If you are local, don’t be dumb. Go to Gumbo’s. 17th and Downing. Everyday happy hour in an uppity environment, but their gumbo is just plain DIRTY.
37) Denver held the Cultivate Festival on Saturday. I am still mad at the city for cancelling Mile High Music Festival to this day, thanks for having THIS festival, and why don’t you try and having a good thing for a LONGER time frame.
38) True Blood is starting. Lindsey is sincerely nervous about this episode. Apparently, her dream guy in the celebrity world, Eric, might die. Not sure how I feel about this, but I blog during this regardless, and can guarantee that she won’t bother me for an hour.
39) Lindsey and I talked about some things during drinks today. I explained that REO Speedwagon was only outdone by Sister Christian, we ALL hate Here comes the Rain Again, and that Tears for Fears was surprisingly the 80’s cheesy Depeche Mode, with hits like Shout, Head Over Heels, and Everybody Wants to Rule the World.
40) No sarcasm. There is a website for Farmers and Ranchers for sex. The commercials are funny regardless, but funnier in CO.
41) True Blood just had nakedness. I admit I watched. How is the main character named Sookie? By the way, the theme song is awesome.
42) Lindsey was asleep, but Paul McCartney on SNL was pretty dope in all respects.
43) This is funny. Spurrier was complaining about his O. That was because his O was playing against Clowney. Dude had like 3 pressures and 2 sacks in 2 series. You can live the rest of the summer NOT knowing who he is. You WILL.
44) Two chicks started kissing in True Blood. I once again was busted looking at the TV intently.
45) I have had my Jeep for 13 years. I haven’t had more than 1 beer in all of those 13 years before driving Eleanor. How did a preset station just change?
46) Waterworld is dope, and I truly love it, but the lines wore me down. The power went out also. And when I want to do a “lazy” river, tough guy HS peeps, leave me alone and I will wreck you.
47) Another day goes by, and I think Usain Bolt won another medal at the world championships.
48) Another day goes by, and Max Scherzer won again.
49) PLEASE don’t tell me you just Googled that guy.
50) Raymond Felton has proclaimed that the Nets WON’T be the rulers of NYC. Glad you all are fighting over a city that hasn’t had an NBA championship since before Secretariat ran…or I was born.
51) I could literally start a fire in this house right now. Lindsey’s attention is SO thorough. I need to harness this power somehow. There HAS to be a way.
52) Is it just me, but do cheese sticks ALWAYS SOUND good, but, ALWAYS do not deliver?
53) I went to Jelly at 13th and Pearl with Lindsey today. The food was delicious, but all I could note was that the people I was about to compliment about being cool and going to breakfast with your mom were actually a COUPLE. EEWWW.
54) You don’t read this thing ever, but GREAT to see you today, Rob. Naomi seems cool, I will ALWAYS have your back for whatever.
55) Does anyone else lose sleep on whether their favorite song from the 80’s was written by John Cougar, John Melloncamp, or John Cougar Melloncamp?
56) I think that Serena Williams lost on purpose to get rest for the US Open. Nadal won just to piss everyone off.
57) Funny. I get excited about Ryne Sandberg getting the interim Phils job, and who do they beat???? Take THAT, Dodgers, and everyone from LA who don’t even know where your stadium is.
58) That is funny, because aside from 1970’s Raiders fans, my friend Hillary, and NBA playoff fans in that area, there ARE no diehard LA fans.
59) I don’t know about you, but I have NO interest in the Fisher-Kosar spat or the Stern-Poulter spat. Perhaps we have different goals,
60) Are all songs these days sounding like Earth Wind and Fire?
61) There is some CRAZY vampire stuff going on in this True Blood episode. My manager, Katrina, tells me she reads this blog all the time. I know she is lying, because she never comments on my TB stuff, and David gives me feedback all the time.
62) Lindsey is happy about some fight that just happened in TB. I can’t believe I just noticed that I am acronyming the show.
63) Uh OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I think the guy that Lindsey just died. Eric. Aaron. Something.
64) I am watching True Blood. Dallas Clark just got added to the Ravens. There HAS to be a Third Eye Blind Joke in here somewhere.
65) I will allocate time tomorrow to find out who Paul Goldschmidt is. You do the same.
66) Manti Te’o is jealous that Craig Daigle and Zack Craig fell in love because they actually exist. Sorry, Manti. The joke truly NEVER gets old.
67) The US Open will have a retractable roof soon. I am against this in the upmost possible way. I think the jet noises actually gave Andy Roddick a chance. Oh, that ship already sailed.
68) That is funny…because he won ONE Slam with all that talent.
69) Wait. The Kansas City Royals are good and George Brett is NOT chasing .400? SEVERELY confused.
70) Am I wrong for thinking that the ’72 Dolphins are shallow for doing a toast every time a team loses a game during the season, that Mercury Morris needs to not have a mouth, that Forrest Gump made me laugh out loud about the WG thing, or that I am just a dickhead in general? You are MORE of one Woody Paige. I didn’t go to the networking event, because I saw you were going to be there. I am still not over your drunk rampage in Detroit when you told me you knew about sports.
71) The 76ers owner just bought the Devils. Maybe HE will figure out that all Jersey people either like the Flyers, Islanders, or Rangers.
72) I live in a household where it is a legitimate question to ask “where is the door handle?” ( Lorie)
73) I am so glad tennis player Marion Bartoli just retired after I just go to know her.
74) That is it. Hope you enjoyed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.