Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
Not on the clock. Evening rant. Speed version. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations, people. Happy Sunday evening to you. I hope you have enjoyed a fantastic weekend of great weekend football. I hope that “Green 18” to Aaron Rodgers means a LOT of different things, because I felt like I heard that or “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry” a lot. OK. Thanks for losing to my bandwagon team (since Steelers are out AND since I predicted San Fran to win preseason) and maybe you are a Seinfeld fan. I respect that. But, once again, I hope “Green 18” has variations. That could be part of the problem.
1a) Maybe your alteration could be “LITTLE Jerry, Jerry, Jerry.”
2) Logan. It is Sunday. Lots of pics. Sorry. Pull it up on your phone and act like you are emailing a client.
3) Thanks to Mr. Royal for “filling” in yesterday. Actually, since I have had a productive weekend, and since after the holidays all of my customers call me on Monday morning after two weeks of holidays and say “I need this, I need seventeen proposals, I need statements of work” even though they haven’t replied to an email in five weeks, I believe he will fill the gap tomorrow also.
4) I say not on the clock, but I guess I have about 105 minutes, There is a Snapped marathon on. Lindsey is occupied.
5) She finally found the channel on Direct TV. Direct TV has confused us from the beginning. I am looking through innocent sports stations and suddenly there are five channels right next to them with “Back Door Moms 19.” If you go in the 900’s looking for certain CO teams, you are in CRAZY porn habitat. I feel like I am an accidental Don Jon.
5a) I had an ’83 Camaro.
6) Can we just call the Clemson-OSU game the “Sammy Watkins Show?” He is also going pro coincidentally. Go figure.
7) I have no idea why I like seeing Urban Meyer in pain so much.
8) Braxton Miller is coming back to school AND proved how much of a stud he was in that game. Dude had a bad wheel most of it, and still played it out.
9) I can’t believe I have watched one college football game and one NFL football game in the last 48 hours with 1000 yards of total offense between the two teams.
10) Yes. I have a lot of down time. I just wish I could PAID for watching all of these sports.
10a) Yes. #10 and #11 were missing in last rant. That was an internal problem and might or might not have involved me talking smack to Bob Stoops calling out Nick Saban after he personally has only one title in all of his years at OU.
11) Can someone update me on the random Arkansas State bowl game? Or the highlights of the Houston against someone bowl game yesterday? One of the two random bowls in between the OSU-Mizzou and Clemson-OSU games. Why IS that? I am even missing the money angle? Don’t other people forget about them like me also?? I find them trying to find Karate Kid or Rocky on the weekend.
12) Why did Mike Gundy throw on 3rd and 7 in FG range late in the game? Because he is a MAN, dammit.
13) Uptown Gym is just opening and sent us a flyer. It says “Gay Friendly.” ON the flyer. Isn’t that some sort of reverse discrimination? Are you implying other gyms aren’t? We will check it out for due diligence, but I am sold on Candyland (the boxer paradise at the Y).
14) Hey, Bob. Boom goes the dynamite. Your QB is coming back AND your 49ers beat the Packers. That is a US win. Not only is he is my buddy, but I have said since August that San Fran will win this Super Bowl thing. Just because Joe Montana can’t make the Candlestick send out, we will try and believe that is NOT bad karma.
15) Do we really care that the Titans fired their coach? I DO care that the guy had NO tools to work with. Kind of like the rich man’s version of Cleveland. I could flow chart this if you would like.
16) The grass is green, the sky is blue, USC has no traction, and Marquise Lee is going pro. Sammy Watkins needed company.
17) I could Google this I suppose, and I am guilty of reading any part of the paper aside from the sports section, but apparently there is a Target account breach. Glad I am not a member. Just making you aware if you also only read the sports page. Lindsey told me.
18) Richard Jefferson is having drinks with friends and a designated driver tonight, because he is STILL a trade target with the Gasol-Bynum talks. That is reaching, my friends.
19) Thanks to the Vikings for investigating the Kluwe thing. It looks official when no one steps up and when nothing is proved. The committee investigating it is currently on a yacht with strippers.
20) LeBron wanted to team with D-Wade and Bosh. Leslie Frazier SHOULD have a job, but instead is now DC in Tampa. There is SOME kind of joke there. Some dream team of coaching. You know where I am going on this. You don’t? Dammit.
21) Jerry Jones suddenly has endorsed the playoffs expanding. Sometimes the Fillerbuster gives YOU, the reader, to make your own joke. I am like Chandler talking to Joey in Friends in that one episode…TOO MANY JOKES.
22) Maybe after they expand the playoffs, the NFL will figure out that having away favorites in their seeding system is slightly off kilter.
23) I don’t totally understand it, and will use some of my interns here at the Fillerbuster to investigate, but somehow the World Cup will have a paralyzed person kickoff the initial kick. I don’t get it, but it sounds SO cool. I know I am sarcastic, but this is serious. Very cool. I am kind of like the sports blog version of the little boy who cried wolf/ tried to say something serious about sports.
24) Did I hear something about Manziel advising WINSTON? Never mind. My interns should be sent to Texas/ Florida. Make sure you get a UF tattoo also, Jameis.
25) I don’t really have a work force. I just like to talk about it. It is like when I tell someone “I will have my people call your people.”
26) Hope the Pelicans’ P Ryan Anderson is Ok. Getting carted from a basketball court is NOT good.
27) In case you care, the Golden State Warriors have won NINE straight. Sure, it was against the Wizards, but that is neither here nor there. Yes, Mr. Royal, I believe you have the stats to support that they have the best shooting ever. They are a video game presently.
28) The Chiefs must have lost because of this. They tried to spray paint a fountain red, and…just look. Easier to just see than have me explain.
29) Should I tell you how the Bama mom attacked an OU fan in front of her kids, or how when confronted, she apologized to Nick Saban as opposed to anyone who watched it OR her kids.
30) Deadspin is so amazing. Mostly sports, and sometimes they just tell you to shovel your freaking walk.
31) OK. So Lindsey is kind of paying attention to me blogging. Just sent me an email. Dumbest things men have done drunk. Sounds fun. http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-40-dumbest-things-drunk-men-have-ever-done
32) And another input link from her. I support this and need to read this in more detail later. Guy loses 37 pounds ONLY eating McDonald’s. Here you go, Ponto. Our excuse. http://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelzarrell/a-science-teacher-lost-37-pounds-from-an-experiment-where-he
33) I think 75% of why UT hired Charlie Strong was because of coaching, 5% was because of his tough name, 10% was because they got Ringwalled, and 10% was because Teddy just went pro.
33a) I CAN’T post another photos of Molly, but let the record show I WANT to.
34) Melo for Griffin? Here we go. It was rumored 2 years ago that Chris Paul and Melo ALWAYS wanted to be teamed up. I am PISSED if I am Blake Griffin. He JUST got a potent jump shot AND he THINKS about passing the ball.
34a) AND actually the dream was playing together with Amare…when he actually was good like 14 months ago.
35) What a crazy day in college bball yesterday. I wouldn’t freak out much if I am an Oklahoma State fan. Sure, they lost to K State. But, it was AT their crib, and us junkies know that KSU is no slouch. The winner of the Big 12 could have FOUR losses.
36) Speaking of that, Kansas lost to San Diego State while we were all watching football. I didn’t even FLIP to it, so I am surprised also.
37) No comment. I saw a wire read that said that RGIII will help pick his new coach. Did we expect anything BUT that? With Dan Snyder running that gig, and RGIII apparently the Golden Child, I would stay away from that one if I was an unemployed coach.
37a) Not good for sober mid day watching, but the Golden Child was freaking funny…or at least had its moments.
38) In case you care, Gary Harris SHOULD have had a SIX point play during the Michigan State-Indiana bball game. Slacker missed a free throw and only got a five point play. Michigan State is really, really good.
39) Did Jabari Parker end up with SEVEN points in that loss to ND? First chink in armor and everyone is watching game tape of that game RIGHT NOW.
40) Logan, I seriously texted you about something unrelated that coincidentally was RIGHT after the Duke loss. Sorry. I would admit if that wasn’t the case.
41) Dammit. Lindsey just put on the fight scene from Bourne. How am I supposed to blog when Bourne is going on? How am I supposed to do ANYTHING when Bourne is happening? I might be a Matt Damon junkie, but I am only human.
42) Guess the Snapped marathon is nixed at this point.
43) Speaking of my boy, feel free to pass on Elysium. Not sure how the metal suit attached to him during pot smoking surgery actually stayed put, but the movie in general tried to lose you and didn’t have fluidity. They tried to be thoughtful, but by the end, I felt like I was just trying to know WHAT was in the box in that horrible movie by DeNiro, Ronin. We never found out. Elysium? Thumbs firmly down, and coming from a Damon homey.
44) Not FORTY SEVEN RONIN. Different movies, although I am sure they both sucked equally.
45) London Perrantes is my favorite person in life. He was the backup PG for UVA who happened to play most of the game against FSU because of other’s injuries. UVA needs some Compton in its Southern blood, he can shoot, he can dribble, he can D up, and he has a cool name. I am down. Harris was out at SG, and UVA looked like they SHOULD look. The others can’t shoot free throws, but I am a fan trying to MAKE the tourney rather than win the thing at this point. Start that kid.
46) The Saints had the highest possession time in the league. The Eagles, under Chip Kelly’s cutting edge system, had the least time of possession. Guess who won in the playoffs.
47) My new co-worker, Dan, has the most fun postseason tourney ever. Fantasy football playoffs. You don’t repick each week, pick about 20 players, and then actually care more than you should about playoff games like the Bengals and the Chargers, which no one cared about except that it was playoff football. Not like either of you are going anywhere.
48) Lindsey and I went out Thursday for the Sooners and spent a lot at Stoneys. We went out again Friday night at Uptown and spent more money. We went to Blackhawk early Saturday morning before football to gamble. We lost. We then went out last night to drink our losings away.
49) Just kidding. I went and got a Walmart refund, went to the bank to cash two checks, did not take my wallet out before going into the gym, and got robbed…out of the locker. So, I rationalize. I don’t recall all of the fun we had at those pretend events, but it helps me feel better about my girl and health and family after losing $390 to someone at the gym who watched me put my combo in. Thanks for leaving me my credit cards, you loser, and hope it paid for your rent this month. Dammit.
50) All I had to do was leave it in Eleanor, who NO one would steal. I stalled twice this weekend in the middle of a major road. At least she doesn’t stall where there isn’t another lane to get by. So polite. I WILL say that after going to file a police report back at the gym, she didn’t stall ONCE. I also entertained with simple happiness after losing $400 by noticing there is actually a street called “Krameria” in Denver. Never noticed it before. Little things like that got me home that day. That street is just missing the “c.”
51) I admit it. Very cool. I had NO idea that Foles and Brees came from the same Austin high school. Westlake. No idea. Tell your friends it is the second time ever in the playoffs that two NFL QB’s met from the same HS.
52) The older guy won. Yay.
52a) And the cooler looking one.
53) Don’t sweat the Cuse only winning 49-44 against Miami at their own crib. Just win. It doesn’t matter how. I still believe them to be in the Final Four. That team year after year has the length of a freaking NBA team.
54) Don’t sweat that Arizona “barely” won. It is conference play, people. Just win it any way you can.
55) Wade Phillips is out as DC in Houston. So, barring age/ death, we can expect him to be picked up by some other team any day now by another team. Doesn’t he have to be a DC SOMEWHERE? It just seems right.
56) Bill Cowher will remain out of the coaching carousel. I get the feeling that him and Gruden will make their comeback at the same time.
57) I have no basis for believing that. It was on my list. This is a rant. It sounds cool.
58) Yoda? Beer? These are names that people have actually named their kids this year. http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/12302013-cheese-feline-you-wont-believe-these-baby-names-of-2013/
59) Did Jeff Triplette mess up today officiating, or did Andy Dalton’s interceptions distract us from his mistakes?
60) Will the fact that Kevin Costner being in it distract people from seeing Shadow Recruit, another Clancy creation plot?
61) Will the fact that after the Fillerbuster LAUDED UCONN before conference play, and the fact that they lost to SMU and Houston in four days distract me from lauding them again?
62) Whoops. Nice job, Berman.
63) We have snow in Denver. I saw one of those Car to Go’s on the road. That can’t be good, can it?
64) I missed all of SNL last night (because of Elysium) except for catching my man from the AT&T commercial briefly. Great hire, SNL.
65) Will the Lions hiring Ken Whisenhunt be considered the photo in the dictionary of the “lesser of all evils?” No other real options at this point, right? And Detroit is not exactly the most beautiful of towns.
65a) ALTHOUGH, it has the most talent of ANY NFL or college coaching opportunity out there right NOW
66) I think I would actually like to visit Appleton JUST because you hated on it, Anthony Davis.
67) NOT the basketball player, people.
68) Man U is out of the FA Cup. I assume that is important, Logan.
69) Malkin had two goals for the Pens, which made me glance at the standings and notice the Flyers actually have a winning record AND the Avs are 14 games over. As soon as they diss the name “Metropolitan” division, I will start watching it again before the playoffs.
70) In case you care, Wichita State won again. Sure, you can pull the whole “they won’t play any ranked teams the rest of the way,” but you would be a hater.
71) She is watching funniest commercials of the year. Some I have seen. Some I haven’t. In case you care, Anthony, Hump Day came in at #8. This was one of my favorites thus far for how little I am paying attention. Actually, I just looked up after an hour. But, I am an Old Spice guy, so here you go. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Hfr2OtU2rA
72) That is it. Since Snapped marathon is not involved anymore, maybe I can swing here into turning back to Bourne. Hope you enjoyed or at least are more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.
72a) Lindsey just found out that Cleveland is interviewing Bob Stoops. That is no bueno for this household.
73a) Seriously, turn on this funniest commercial show. It is on Tru TV. That Kyrie/ Tyson/ Rodman commercial Foot Locker commercial just won it.