He saved our lives and Teddy’s life. He saved all our lives.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

NOT on the clock.  Friday evening, bad day, and blogging makes me happy.  I am just going to write until I am done tonight.  Grumpiness usually means better rants though.

How I have an entire legal sheet of paper in front of me one day after the last blog is beyond me…

Let’s turn and burn.

1)  LeBron has come out and said his Heat can be “better” this year.  Thanks, LeBron.  I was WONDERING if you might be trying to improve as a team.  We all know your Miami Thrice were signed for multiple years, so it is not like we have to look for blurb trades or anything.  Does anyone else remember MJ talking this much?  Shut up, dude, and get a couple more rings to get into the conversation.  Hell, you have a player in Kobe who is still ACTIVE who is considered better than you at this point.

1a) How dare I?  Two.  Kobe and Tim Duncan.

2)  The NHL cancelled the remainder of its preseason games today.  A couple hours later, we hear they are back talking.  I got an idea.  Why don’t you all start LATE, finish LATE, and fill my late summer void where all I have is baseball and football training camps.  August would be SO much better if you and the NBA staggered yourselves in the playoffs. I am very confused in mid May and June.  I only have one TV and refuse to get that split screen shit.

2a)  I just thought of that, but I legitimately like the idea.  Because it IS all about my sports watching schedule in my world.

3)  The US leads 5-3 after the first day of Ryder Cup play (that is golf for those who don’t know).  First point.  Every player on the US has either a losing record at the Cup, an even record, or is debuting.  Check me.  Fact.  Second.  Hey, Phil Mickelson, butt slaps don’t work in golf.  I thought Bradley was going to hit you.  Leave that to football and baseball and such.  Third, Tiger did play like shit, but how about put Steve Stricker’s face on ESPN for half the day.  They DID play together.  Tiger has always sucked at the Ryder Cup for the most part, or at least in comparison for what he used to do at tournaments in his prime.

4)  I know I am grumpy, but when I am not working out and still listening to Linkin Park or Queensryche, my workout bands, I know it is a bad day.  Linkin Park, you know.  I LOVE their new song:


Queensryche?  From way back when, I think I have to thank my brother for getting me into them, and still my #2 band to workout to.  Operation: Mindcrime could be the best non glam, but during the glam era, not on the radio album EVER.  Hey, that sounded like Bill Walton (regular readers get that joke).  A taste from back in the day, and possibly my favorite song ever to work out to:


5)  Ravens-Browns Thursday night game.  My thoughts:

-Brandon Weeden overthrowing the final play into the end zone after the penalty was ridiculous

-Ravens LB Paul Kruger’s unsportsmanlike penalty that got the Browns closer and another shot was ridiculous

-The Browns hanging in there, and Weeden’s overall hanging in there HAS to give the franchise hope.  Of course, after like 7 different QB’s over the last 7 years, the odds are with you at some point to pick a semi-winner.

-Kind of funny that the last play of the game was pretty much the same thing as the Packers’ game, aye?  I guess not to Packer fans.

6)  Last week in the NFL, the NFL had SEVEN games decided in the last minute or OT.  Too bad the replacement refs made all of them go long to jack up everyone’s TV schedule

7)  YES.  Rex Ryan doesn’t talk about Super Bowl in preseason, stays quiet the first few weeks, and then he strikes (kind of like the cobra talking shit to Rikki Tikki Tavi.  I will STRIKE).  Kind of.  Said as brilliantly (for him) as possible, when asked about Revis NOT being put on IR, he said he might need him for a possible Super Bowl run.  That is like a mellow version of his usual lunacy.  Dude, WAIT until the 6th or 7th game.  You have YET to hear the Tebow chants, and I will laugh my ass off when it happens and you have to answer.

7a)  Rikki Tikki Tavi is the greatest cartoon of ALL time.  The Fillerbuster is going on record with that one.  Rent it.  Tonight.  It is only freaking 27 minutes.  You can squeeze it in.  It is like Rocky combined with a mongoose documentary.

8)  Bill Self didn’t quite get the lifetime deal that Coach K got at Duke, but still not bad, and I actually agree with the contract.  He will average $3.9 mil until the year 2022.  Listen, he is a quality guy, a great recruiter, and has THIS going for him.  He has shown success on BOTH sides of the coin.  He took a team that kind of should have been there to WIN the title, and then last year took a team that shouldn’t have been there…there.  I like it.  I have not cheered for KU since my dad didn’t listen to me about the ’88 team with Danny Manning, but I think KU fans should be happy.

9)  Sweet.  I didn’t even OPEN the article, and therefore will keep the hook short, but…there is a bounty scandal in kids football out west.  What’s that?  High school you ask?  No.  Too easy.  PEE WEE.  Let me say it again.  THERE IS A BOUNTY SCANDAL IN PEE WEE football.  Uggghhh.

10)  I heard Kush on the way home today from work.  Might not be one of the classic Dre songs (probably because it is new of course), but it is pretty tight in my opinion.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuJDaOVz2qY

11)  Damn.  My Queensryche CD is skipping.  I guess that happens after 1 million times of being played.

12)  Sorry, Lindsey.  I have to go there.  It is on my legal pad, and therefore is in my rant.  A few weeks after FSU honored a scholarship for a player who had concussions and couldn’t play anymore, Oklahoma football does NOT recognize the scholarship of an offensive tackle recruit who has cervical stenosis.  I mean it is smart and practical, but couldn’t we keep the feel good party going?  Jimbo Fisher is new, so I guess he is not getting the “win a championship” stare as much from his AD as Stoops is.

13)  What night is Rules of Engagement on these days?  They move nights, cancel it, bring it back, and then move it again.  I suppose I COULD go Google it, but then what would this hook be about and then I couldn’t get YOU to go watch the retired David Putty from Seinfeld live on.

14)  The Washington Redskins picked up ex-Packer RB Ryan Grant this week.  My fantasy teams are bad enough that I actually noticed this blurb.  If it wasn’t for Mike Shanahan picking his lineups to actually piss OFF fantasy owners, I might debate in picking him up.

15)  I consider myself great with animals.  Although I am a dog guy primarily, and although a cat died of old age coincidentally when I was watching him while my teacher/ fellow church goer was out of town when I was 11 (it still haunts me-I mowed the lawn with him riding with me on the mower), I still watch people’s cats if asked.  I was petting the fattest, blackest cat ever last night when she scratched me.  Maybe she didn’t like me singing the old school country hit of her name to her (Elvira), but I was honestly offended, and made sure she watched me clean the litter and fill her food and water before I left the apartment, making sure she knew I was her caretaker and to get rid of her attitude.  Like Warren G said, you have to regulate.

15a)  I am odd because I talk to animals like another humans.  I don’t make funny noises, look at them like they are supposed to know what I am saying, and then they tilt their head in curiosity.  Maybe THEY don’t like my monologues, but I think it proves that I am treating them as an equal.

15b)  What?  You don’t KNOW the song Elvira?  Here you go.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVHQsmIaDBY

16)  Kevin Costner must really have pissed off Clint Eastwood at some point.  How do you expect to make a quality baseball movie without the dude.  Trouble with the curve?  I have trouble with you not giving Kevin a call.  He might have been a shitty postman, but dude can play a baseball player like nobody’s business.

17)  I need to get that app where the phone tells you what song it is.  My boy, Kyle, has a baby and wife now.  I almost called him today again and put my phone to my crappy car speaker.  He is probably busy with responsibilties.  Oh, that’s right.  I guess I need to download ONE single app before I talk about downloading THAT app.  Anyway, I didn’t call Kyle, I think it might have been Three Days Grace, and I don’t know what song it was.

18)  The Queensryche CD ended.  I picked New Radicals as my next CD choice while I continue to write.  I guess the blog IS cheering me up.  It is the greatest band to disband after ONE CD, is very happy, and check out the song that DIDN’T hit the air: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqEhURhfRVQ

19)  Ex Bears QB Jim McMahon is beginning the early effects of dementia.  That is NOT a joke actually.  It is true medically.  Anyway, he came out this week and said that if he could have done it again, he would have chosen baseball.  I GET what you are saying, Jim, and I am so sorry for your condition, but don’t say that.  Sure, you hit a time that my Steelers were not so good, but people in the year 2084 who are folding up their space plane as a suitcase (yay.  Jetsons.) and will still be talking about the Super Bowl Shuffle and ALWAYS wonder if your team’s defense was the best of all time.  Had Dan Marino not done his thing for 48 minutes in week 13 I believe, you might be known as the greatest.  Of course, Mercury Morris would then come out of the woodwork for THAT one.

20)  Perhaps Lakers Jordan Hill will have read the fine print and realize that his team picked up Steve Nash and Dwight Howard…oh….and stop assaulting his girlfriend.  Lock and load, dude.  I know it was back in February, but you have some skills, are playing with the best player of the late 90’s/ early 2000’s, and have a real shot at getting a nice fancy ring.  Once you have one though, don’t hit her.  You might have murder charges with the ring since you are not used to wearing it.

21)  That last hook was more about not hitting chicks and less about the ring.  Just to be clear.  I am edgy, but I stay behind the line.

22)  VERY cool.  The Marlins, still hurting about the money they spent on players and the stadium, STILL pulled a good one.  Who is Adam Greenberg you might ask?  Dude was a top pick, got hit in his FIRST plate appearance, has suffered vertigo since, bounced around the minors for several teams for years, and will be offered a ONE day contract by the team.  VERY cool.

23)  Damn.  Even the Fillerbuster does it.  DAMN.  I was working last night to prep for today, and watching NFL football.  I TOTALLY spaced on the Washington-Stanford game.  What happens?  The team that beat the Fillerbuster’s preseason national champion (USC) LOST to Washington.  Jake Locker doesn’t do SHIT in the years he is there, goes to the NFL, and then what happens?  Washington beats Stanford?  Someone grab me a flow chart.  Pronto.

24)  If you are not excited about Zemeckis and Denzel teaming up for the flick this fall about a pilot who pulls a trick landing with a plane with passengers, and then gets heat for his drinking, then you either haven’t seen the long preview, hate Denzel, or are abnormal.  Choose.

25)  Yesterday, something weird happened.  Besides the wonderful taste of Coke Zero, I eat NO sweets.  I have a cookie about every 6 months.  I like salt, cheese, and not getting cavities (hey, one real one in 39 years is NOT bad).  Anyway, a partner brought in this donut spread that was huge.  I finally broke down and had one.  Later that day, my only weakness was in the company kitchen (I don’t encounter it much because you have to cook it or seek it out)…a brownie.  I had two sweets in one day for the first time in like 15 years.

25a)  Perhaps it was all that sugar I ate before like 5000 swim races as a kid.

25b)  Wasn’t your fault, mom.  We lived in the Tastykake capital of the world.

26)  The replacement ref who called the touchdown in the Packers has declared he made the right call.  I refuse to bite and make a joke on this one.  Fillerbuster hook Mad Lib time.  That____________(noun) is a _____________(adjective). ____________(exclamation)!!!

27)  Roger Goodell has apologized to the fans.  Thanks, Roger.  Maybe if you picked a side, then we could have had normalcy earlier.  You were offsides.

27a)  It takes very little to make me laugh.  That last hook was far from funny.  I get it.  I am going to stop the rant and watch Princess Bride.  Anyone want a peanut?  Talk to you later…

27b)  Just kidding…

28)  I hear one of the victims from the Sandusky case has a book deal.  If you call it “Happy Valley”, I want kickbacks.  I have told at least FIVE people about that idea.

29)  Another thing about Bill Self.  He would have NEVER let, in his time at Illinois, the #4 PG go to Notre Dame instead of Illinois…which just happened yesterday.

29a)  Why do I get a spell check red line under NOTRE?  Aren’t they mainstream enough these days?

30)  Tigers pitcher Doug Fister set an AL record with 9 STRAIGHT strikeouts in one game.  That is impressive, sir.  What is more impressive is that the A’s, who just set the AL strikeout record, might make the playoffs, and did it a WEEK after the Rays set the pitching team strikeout record.  Tell you friends all that stuff.  They will be impressed.

31)  The Indians fired Manny Acta…with 6 games left.  Really?  If you guys were the Yankees, I would still think that was wrong.  Go watch Major League.  The first one.

32)  Yes.  The NBA is finalizing procedures against flopping.  I am excited to see the new rules, but I am MORE excited about watching them enforcing the new rules.

33)  This New Radicals CD is SO good.

34)  RA Dickey is the first knuckleballer in 30 plus years to win 20 games.  There has never been a lot of positive asterisks in the sports world, but this is one of them.  Dude’s “knuckleball” tops out at 85 MPH.  It is a knuckleballer with a positive asterisk.

35)  The Switch is one of the greatest Seinfelds ever made, and happened to be on after my bad day.  Haven’t seen it?  A taste.



35a)  Should I feel like a loser for WAITING for the Superman reference in every Seinfeld episode?  I don’t.

36)  I don’t like the city of Baltimore, but very cool of them to give the refs a standing ovation when they took the field.  That’s GOLD, Jerry.

37)  Bad day definition.  I have nothing against Tool.  I have seen them live.  But, I chose a Tool song OVER an Allman Brothers song on the way home.

38)  Interesting.  I read an article about Manchester U.  They are known as the most widespread franchise in the world, and they recently went public.  They traded for a player, overpaid, and what happened?  In TWENTY SIX minutes, they lost 4.5% per share and $112 million because the fans didn’t like the pickup.  Amazing.  I don’t know how, but I WILL be in Rio in 2014.

39)  That is it.  That is what my legal pad says.  It is all crossed out.  I am assuming that I am supposed to go to a strip club since my Lindsey is having a girl night, but I prefer to blog and go play Golden Tee.  To each their own.  I hope you enjoyed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.

39a) Damn.  Late entry.  For the record, 10 minutes after I posted on Friday night.  College picks:

Texas Tech -3 at Iowa State (too easy)

Clemson -8.5  at BC (Clemson is good.  Don’t judge them on the FSU loss)

Wake -2 vs. Duke (Duke getting TWO points?  I think not)

Idaho + 27 at UNC (27 is a lot)

Oklahoma State +1.5 vs. Texas (at home, and get UT while you can)

WVA -11.5 vs Baylor (WVA is GOOD)

Missouri +2 at UCF (They play in the SEC now, boys)

Miami -3 vs NC State (they are not THAT bad)

FSU -17 vs South FL (Directional)

Wisconsin +11 vs Nebraska (has Wisconsin EVER gotten 10 points in the last ten years?)

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