Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. Evening rant. Before the UVA game. “Extreme” speed version (by that I mean I am only writing hooks during commercials of BOTH games). Let’s turn and burn.
CO-BLOGGER TWITTER: @gaberoyal
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1) Greetings and salutations, people. Thanks for joining me. I am glad I can type ok while looking at TV screen. Excuse any grammatical errors. These basketball games are more important than this rant.
2) I have a LOT going on. I am sitting on my couch. There are two games on. It is Friday night. I am blogging. I have…well, what I have already mentioned is ENOUGH.
3) I really, really do like the NCAA CBS music if I have not mentioned it before.
4) I had a dream about me flying to Baylor today and asking the athletic program why they chose to play a zone against Wisconsin.
5) Told you that San Diego State would cover the spread.
6) …but they sure as hell made it exciting on that note, didn’t they? If it weren’t for a few laser beam bombs, that game would have been a 14 point delta.
7) I am SURE Mr. Miller is telling his Dayton players tonight that the Gators have been to the last FOUR Elite 8’s…and LOST the first three.
8) EDITOR’S NOTE: I incorrectly wrote the other day that the Sixers ended their losing streak. That was incorrect information and I am sorry I have worked 70 hours in the last week. Not much time to read full articles. Hell, I have been on the last 100 pages of Mockingjay for the last two weeks it feels like.
8a) Yes, I am almost done finding my inner teenage girl. The books are GOOD, dammit. I wound’t have believed it.
9) No one at work likes my slogan for tonight. I went to UVA. I have had Michigan State to win it all since two weeks before the season began. So either “my pool’s in, or my SCHOOL’S in.” I like it, it rhymes, but that is coming from someone who thinks this is the funniest joke of ALL time. “What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Damn.”
9a) I was the bartender who refused to learn jokes for the patrons.
10) Lindsey is a doll. She went out tonight partly to let me stress out on the couch alone. No alumni event tonight for me. This is State vs. the Wahoos, and the winner of this game I firmly am in the corner for the rest of the tournament. I don’t want to be around people, I just need my TV, and these are the nights I don’t care I don’t really have any friends. I should watch I Love You Man right after the games tonight.
11) She said she would text me where they are downtown later. This couch feels pretty inexpensive and comfortable.
12) Mark Sanchez is signed by the Eagles, and says he still wants to start. He also said he is still trying to figure out how to spend the money he made with the Jets. Brilliant.
13) Props to Roddy White for paying up that Mercer fan and throwing in two Super Bowl tickets. It will pay him out in the long run in media coverage.
14) I just chuckled for the 100th time watching that BK Chris Webber commercial.
14a) The LONG version. The short one is too…short. No plot.
15) Another year goes by, and another year of Mr. Smart turning down better jobs than VCU. LOVE that guy.
16) I am a betting consultant once again tonight. I have indirect action on ALL the games, meaning I was consulted, it is not my money, and I am not blamed. I was a hell of a consultant last weekend, let me assure you.
17) MJD signs with the Raiders. At least Darren McFadden won’t be picked up as a 5th running back in about 40% less fantasy leagues. #underachiever
18) That is the first time I have hashtagged anything in my blog. You should follow me on Twitter. 303 followers, and I do refresh ten times a day easily.
19) I am throwing a party when I hit 500 followers. I will invite all of my friends, which means I am inviting Vince, Cerk, some co-workers, and all of LINDSEY’S friends.
20) Props to the Eagles. Enough is enough. DeSean Jackson is due to make $10 million and $30 million overall in his current contract. Finally, a team tells a player to take a hike. Love it (hey, Steelers, give him a call, ok?).
21) Anyone see my co-blogger? Are you out there, Gabe? He is in the military and must be on some secret Navy Seal mission. Except that I thought he was in the Army. Maybe a Ranger mission. Maybe he is in the hole. I know some of my readers really miss his not random, numbered QUALITY shit.
22) I think Kyle Anderson should have gone pro, which he did. I think Mr. LaVine should have stayed at UCLA, which he didn’t. But who am I? I am a guy on a couch on a Friday with more sports information flowing through my brain than Skip Bayless.
23) But THAT is not saying much I guess.
24) I am missing something. How are all of the alternative CBS/ March Madness stations ALL together on the dial???? That is crazy weird. Convenient, but it still begs the question.
25) When Lindsey has some pops and watches basketball, everything is a gray area reference. She laughs. I have to remind her that the NAME of the game is called basketball.
25a) Not grasping that hook? Think “Wow, he had a really solid grip on the ball before the tie up. I think he needs to head to the bench for a blow.”
26) I really like that commercial for Audi with Queen’s We Are The Champions. Who is that guy at the end of the commercial? He is funny. is he famous?
26a) That question is serious. I am not hip.
27) I am watching Michigan try to blow this game. I have decided that they really need to work on their inbounds plays.
28) I am going to mention it EVERY blog if necessary. I have watched NCIS. How is it the #1 show? It SUCKS.
28a) But as Peter says in Family Guy, Mark Harmon is the best actor in the entire world…ever.
29) SO many non sports themes to choose from tonight.
29) I know I have been slacking on Deadspin links. Just freaking read Deadspin.
30) Thank you, MLB. THANK you for upping the drug penalties, but ALSO for making it not possible for a busted player to play the postseason. That should have been done the FIRST time.
31) Useless stat. Tell your friends. LeBron James is the NINTH highest paid player in the league.
32) Betting, even as a consultant, is unbelievable. Michigan tried to give the game away, an offensive foul is the ONLY thing that could save the spread, it happens, my boy Stauskas goes to the line, MISSES the second one, and the game is a push. I am glad I am retired, but DAMN it is such a rush. I am glad Lindsey left me alone.
33) Jaws says Mettenberger is the #2 QB on the NFL draft board. He is like the cool, knowledgeable version of Skip Bayless…he dares to be different.
34) I really don’t like Skip Bayless. At all.
35) Matchups and where they were playing. Wow, Dayton made Stanford look tall and slow. It reminds me of Bloodsport, where they say something about you are not smaller and weaker but faster and…harder to catch? I forget. Two things negative turned into two things positive. I am watching basketball. I don’t have time to look that quote up. My point is that KU was a great matchup position by position for Stanford, and Dayton was not. Kind of tough for a 7 footer to get out to that three point line every time.
36) That’s alright. Even though I started with three entries in the knockout pool, I probably can concentrate better with one entry, and Scott is probably a much better “consultant” like in past years rather than having a pact where we are “in on a game together.”
37) You know? Bloodsport, aside from the horrible acting, is a pretty good movie plot. I like that movie every year or so when I am going to sleep on my couch, it is on, and the remote is on the other side of the room.
37a) How do you spell “HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?”
37b) You know what I mean if you have seen it.
38) I LOVE the pickup by the Steelers in LeGarrette Blount. Very Steeler-y RB.
39) A study has released data that says that MMA head trauma is worse than boxing head trauma. They also had a “B” and “C” release to their data. It says, and I am quoting, “the sky is blue and the grass is green.”
40) Finally, very cool story I didn’t know. Fred Hoiberg is the coach of Iowa State. Kevin Ollie is the coach of UCONN. They played against each other in HS, and they played against each other tonight as coaches. Story is that they both got recruited on the same visit at Arizona. Lute said the scholarship went to the first person who accepted the offer. Both declined. Some scrub named Damon Stoudamire got the gig.
41) UVA is starting in 20 minutes. Thanks for your readership. That is it. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.