Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
Not on the clock, except for when the captain starts his descent. Old format. Let’s turn and burn.
1) The Nets beat the Bulls last night to force a game 7 out east. I think this series still has legs and that the Bulls can win at Brooklyn. They just need a few more warm bodies. How they lost that close last night with all of their missing players was amazing. Nate Robinson was lighting it up and had that ONE move that was dirty. What move? YOU know the move. He drove on the right side of the hoop and nearly broke someone’s leg. By the way, Luol Deng was out because he had the FLU? When the hell did the flu become an acceptable form of absence? Throw up on the floor while playing if you have to, Luol. Flu is NOT an excuse. Mix in an Emergency, Deng. I still say the Bulls will pull this out even with the injuries.
2) The Nuggets lost to the Warriors last night to end their season. You can spin this any way you want. They got BEAT. Yes, the Warriors made a lot of more shots than normal maybe, but the looks were there and shouldn’t have been that easy. This wasn’t George Karl’s best team over the years, but losing as the heavy favorite sure doesn’t fight off those whispers of “regular season coach only.”
3) Since Floyd Mayweather is so well behaved these days, I need to start interviewing some alternates for keeping that pipeline loaded. Yes, Daryl Washington, I already have Rant Squad scouts at your location for beating up your wife allegedly. The Pro Bowl LB from the Cards will still need a couple more arrests though.
4) Karl Malone says the most random things on the most random subjects, but dibs to him for getting the back of Jason Collins in this whole thing.
5) “Concussed” still sounds like a weird word to me.
6) Heat F Udonis Haslem had his house robbed. They already got Chris Bosh’s. Now if we can just rob them of another championship I will be happy.
7) For you long time readers, you are right that I used to LOVE LeBron James. I still love what he brings to the court. BUT, the fact that he handpicked a team of current superstars to win makes me sick. Management BROUGHT Shaq to Kobe, and Michael won with guys like Bill Wennington, Horace Grant, Steve Kerr, and an overlooked draft pick named Scottie Pippen.
8) Good of the powers that be in baseball to fine umpire Tom Hallion, who was busted for yelling BACK at Rays players instead of walking away. Unfortunately, no amount was released. This means it could have been $10. Who knows, but a smart move regardless.
9) There is a car race at Talladega this weekend. I was glad that USA Today gave me a visual in their paper of the track it is on. I was curious to know exactly what specific type of oval it was this time. In case you care, the track is 2.66 miles around and has 33% banking on the turns. NOW I can sleep at night.
10) I don’t think Guerrero stands a chance this weekend to be honest. No one could beat Money when he was a going out on the town idiot. Who is going to beat him now that he has been in a cell for a year just THINKING about coming back? He needs everything tidy and organized at his $9 million mansion. His workouts and preparation are tidy also. I was impressed that Guerrero’s comments about him being a woman beater didn’t get a rise out of him.
11) He DID beat up a woman though.
12) Cedar Rapids has fields that look so cool when arriving or taking off from their airport. They look like green paper with different colored magic marker drawing lines all through it.
13) Ok. That was a bad description, but whatever it looks like, it IS pretty.
14) Our captain is either not a fun dude or has had a bad day.
15) The only thing better than ONE seat open next to you on a flight is BOTH seats being open. I am having a blog party in the entire back row of the plane. If it wasn’t for the family with two kids who moved in across from me right before take off, I might be in heaven.
16) Interesting that Jimmy Connors is deciding now to let us know that Chris Evert was pregnant with his child but had an abortion. That kid might have given a run to the to be super kid of Agassi and Graf.
17) I think everyone who is busting on Mark Sanchez’s new head gear is really funny. They are saying he is on his way to being a fast food employee. That is funny.
18) A shout out to my colleague, LaTonya. I travel with her for work here and there, and she is the easiest to travel with by far. Whereas some colleagues have to do a fancy dinner at the client’s city, LaTonya and I just drop our luggage, bust out our work, and beeline it to the closest dive bar that HAPPENS to serve food.
19) I hope the Celtics win the last two games of the series so other NBA players can keep making fun of Melo’s wife, LaLa. Everyone seems to be climbing on board. Lindsey, you asked me why they were fighting at the end of the last game. I told you it was playoff stuff. It wasn’t. They slowed down the tape and you see Crawford say to Melo “I f$%^&@W your wife.” Ha.
20) They are saying that aloofness might have aided in Geno Smith’s draft drop. Aloofness? Who cares about aloofness? If I am an NFL owner, do you think I wouldn’t take someone because they were cocky? There aren’t THAT many Ryan Leafs out there.
21) Independent baseball team Schaumburg Boomers have offered the Cubs a home if they leave Wrigley. I have nothing more to say. I just wanted to write “Schaumburg Boomers.”
22) Traveling for one day is tough for me OR I need to buy some protein bars. I WANT to work out, but I am tired of airports searching my bag when the questionable items are tuna cans and applesauce for pre and post workout meals without hitting a store. Plus, it is always fun when wheels down from a long flight means I have 70 emails.
23) I hear that NBDL player Royce White is taunting the Thunder and Durant. In case you forgot, Royce is the guy who can’t fly due to anxiety, and the Rockets haven’t figured out what to do with the guy. Anyway, how is a guy who has to ride buses “taunting” anyone? The Thunder might actually taunt him back with airplane jokes, but they are too busy…you know…actually PLAYING playoff basketball.
24) The Redskins had talks about their nickname a couple years ago. I thought we were done that conversation. Why is it suddenly back in the news? Redtails? Did I miss something? Confused. Leave this alone for a bit. You sensitive race people can wait your turn. We are presently busy with the sensitive sexuality people with the Collins thing.
25) I like small airports. Cedar Rapids has a quaint little airport, although the food is lacking a little if in a rush. There is a McDonald’s on the road outside that they should take full advantage of moving into the airport itself.
26) I am selfish in the way that I am enjoying this flight as I try to get through my blog list. The couple next to me is tending to two kids who are pretty close in age, and very needy. I am not jealous at all.
26a) Plus, I have Combos. Here is the deal. I talk about snack foods like relationships. I am married to Cheez Its. Without a doubt. When I want to cheat on my snack food wife, I have an affair with Cheetos. They are dirty delicious and saved for special days. I have one night stands with Pringles, since that is the time that a can lasts with me. Well, going with this theme, then I guess my stewardess Mile High club snack food are Combos. I haven’t walked through a grocery store in 20 years and thought about buying Combos, but when I am about to jump on a plane, I ALWAYS grab Combos. They are consumed only ON the plane. Pretzel. Nacho cheese, cheddar, or pizza. Old school, just like I always drink basic red, green, or orange Gatorade.
27) I LIKE it. He might have killed some dogs, but we never doubted his athleticism. Eagles LeSean McCoy called Michael Vick old, and Vick challenged him to a 40 race. Vick won. Boom goes the dynamite.
28) The baby across the way has started crying. Ugghhh.
29) So the Blue Jays think that Buchholz was throwing a spitter, aye? I think the Rays and Blue Jays are grumpy because it was supposed to be the changing of the guard in their division, and what do we have? The Yankees and Red Sox.
30) Mark Jackson was fined $25k for his remarks about the refs. I agree, and now we can forget about it, as they advance to get smoked by the Spurs.
31) By the way, the Spurs could be the happiest people on earth right now. The Thunder lose their star and are in a dogfight with the Rockets. The Griz are ahead in a tough series with a team who MIGHT have lost its star. They don’t have to play the Nuggets and instead get a team who just lost its star power forward. And, they have a bunch of rest in the meantime.
32) I carry around Ziploc bags, and I don’t understand how I get weird looks when I bust them out. I am a boy scout who never was a boy scout. I carry Ziplocs, so when it rains, I just throw my phone, wallet, and iPod in them. It is smart, and has saved me many times.
33) The Bucs are to retire Warren Sapp’s #99. He was a good player who was great for a small window…and they don’t have many other options to consider.
34) I know they joke about it, but why DID it take so long to throw Cool Ranch in a freaking taco. I thought Cool Ranch was hip like 10-15 years ago by the way. Why now?
35) Bryant McKinnie signed with the Ravens again. Smart move. They are a winner, they just lost some people on that side of the ball, so they will be happy to keep some of their “decent” players.
36) Iowa City is a pretty cool town. The same guy designed both Iowa City and Boulder, and the leap from one to the other is minimal. If you are there, check out Shorts. Fantastic, creative burgers, great selection of beers, but with the college/ dive bar atmosphere. PERFECT for me.
37) John Abraham is evidently looking at the Titans as an option. It is all about the money and future security, because evidently he doesn’t care about signing with a contender. Have fun with CJ2k, bro.
38) Well, I got through my mini list, and right on cue, the grumpy captain has said we are starting our approach. I hope you enjoyed another edition of the airplane rant. In two weeks, I go to DC, so the plane rants will have PLENTY of time to come out. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.
39) And everyone on this plane better have your stuff ready to walk. I have important things to do. I have to go catch the 5pm Celtics game, fight rush hour, and listen to local sports radio about how they should blow up the Nuggets and do crazy stuff like trade for Snowball.