Do I even NEED a joke for this picture/ theme???

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

Quick hitter.  Too much work to do.  Let’s turn and burn.

1)  Yay.  Back to how I like it.  Writing rants with football on.  The stars are aligned again and the latter days of summer and heat are replaced by the sound of NFL and college crowds.  Delightful.  Except for the sound of Cris Collingsworth voice of course, but Al Michaels balances it all out.  I got to see No Doubt perform.  They sucked.  Evidently, I missed Mariah Carey’s choice of dress.  Dammit.  Nice, groovy Queen Latifah national anthem though.  Anyway, it doesn’t matter.  I am excited regardless.

1a)  This is hilarious.  Al Michaels is giving the full time jobs of the replacement refs, with the crowd booing every call because they think it is just because they are replacement refs.  Anyway, it appears that Jim Core is our head ref.  Any relation to Art Core (you have to be hard core Seinfeld to get THAT one-I am not giving it up)?

1b)  Have you heard about the guy who is going to ref that was a ref in a 6 person league previously?  I hope he doesn’t get confused and call too many men on the field on the first play.

2)  Andy Roddick loses.  He went out classy, we were all rooting for him, he did win one big one, and he gave Potro a fight, who is seventh seeded and no slouch on hard courts.  Dibs to you, Andy.  Here.  I will do THIS for you.  Dibs to you, ARod.  There.  Closure.  May the force be with you and your smoking wife in retirement.

3)  The Jays and Orioles are fighting for playoff spots, and I keep getting confused that John Kruk is in the studio giving analysis.  Someone find Joe Carter really quick.  DAMN you, Joe Carter.

4)  Davis Love picks Jim Furyk and Steve Stricker as his captain’s picks.  I like them, no matter WHAT their numbers show.  Both are experienced, both know the Ryder Cup game, and both have shown just enough of life to keep us hopeful.

5)  Let’s talk grunts and screams.  No, I am not going THERE in this hook. Both women are pretty much the sole reasons why a noise machine might be coming into the WTA soon.  Sharapova’s sound legit.  I can close my eyes and it sounds like an effort related sound.  Victoria Azarenka might be good, but hers are bogus.  It sounds like she is trying to tune her voice to a certain note, and is not scratchy enough to be effort related.  Enough to make me NOT want to see her in the final.  Plus, of all the chicks from any Russian related country, she got hit with the ugly stick.  Sorry, Victoria.  It is what it is.  Anna Kournikova didn’t win anything, but she didn’t have fake screams and was hot as shit.

6)  I think Lindsey really likes me.  Because she sits through a LOT of Seinfelds that I know she doesn’t find as hilarious as me.

7)  The Dolphins have released QB David Garrard.  Hmmm.  I won’t look up their depth chart, but you all must see something in practice from your other boys that has NOT related to what WE have seen as of yet publicly.

8)  You want reports?  The Fillerbuster is here for you.  True to form of following every sport possible, I should let you know that the Gibbs team has picked up Matt Kenseth.  No jokes, I have no idea how that changes things in the broad scope of NASCAR, but it SOUNDS important.  You are now up to date.

9)  I hear Usain Bolt might play in a charity game for Man U.  Is that the Premier League’s jargon for “friendlies?”  Book it.  I will watch it.  It would be fun.

10)  UFC Dana White is planning a super bout at Cowboys Stadium.  If you are going to put two people at the middle of a huge venue, I guess you might as well put them in the place with the largest TV screen.  Good idea, Dana.

11)  I have a lot of goals tomorrow.  I have work stuff, not work stuff, and then this.  Of ALL the things I hope to accomplish tomorrow, my number 1 is that I don’t hear about Matthieu enrolling in some way at LSU.

12)  Mark Sanchez called me the other day looking for Tony Parker’s phone number.  I gave it to him and I respect that he is going to let him know personally what the deal about him and Eva Longoria is.  I find it very polite of him, but it probably would have rung more true if he did it before TMZ found them together.

13)  The sky is blue, the grass is green, and Bobby V is ripping the media.  Bobby.  Lay low for a while.  He actually told me last night he is trying to hit for the “managerial” cycle.  Have your team suck, you team hate you, the media hate you, AND the fans hate you.  You are on course, my friend.

14)  I hear that Sandusky says he regrets not taking the stand.  Dude.  I guess they have cut you off from hearing what is going on in the world, because you taking the stand would have nothing but a sick, negative impact on all of us.

15)  Clint Eastwood is coming out with a baseball movie.  You KNOW that Kevin Costner is on the out and out when HE can’t even get a supporting role in THAT one.  I thought it was a general rule that Costner was in most good baseball movies.  That is the only thing he is good at.

16)  How cool, and planned perhaps?  In the words of an old school Old Milwaukee commercial (this one is for you, Dad), “it doesn’t get any better than this.”  Roger Clemens is not only going to pitch his second game for the Skeeters, but he will pitch to his SON.  Wow.  Say it ain’t so.  I think your son wanted to hit against you, but I don’t think the story in his head had anything involving “skeeters.”

17)  Santonio Holmes, and ex-Steeler, SHUT UP.  He has come out declaring that Mark Sanchez was “floored” when first hearing about Tim Tebow coming there.  Really, dude?  Why get yourself in this?  Both parties have handled themselves fine, you are becoming a trend for starting locker room turmoil, and you can just go work on becoming something MORE than a backup on the fantasy team owned by Lindsey and I.

18)  That is IT.  Work to do, football to watch.  Hope you enjoyed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.