Bloggex.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Not an airplane rant.  Evening rant.  Brain dead version, as Lindsey and I are smart and always come back from an exhausting vacation on Saturday.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1. Greetings and salutation, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).  If my brain runs on 12 cylinders hypothetically, I am running at about 5.5.  Not that the 12 cylinders is stellar or anything.  One sentence hooks.  Lost nothing in Vegas, including my blog list.  This thing is massive.  I had a couple pops and decided to do it Seinfeld style, as I started writing “the”  before everything I wrote down.  Love this blog or hate this blog (and for some reason are reading it), this will be fun.  Predicting 165 hooks.
2. I will separate the blog into two parts-Vegas and normal sports hooks.
3. I am maturing in the way that I didn’t blog since Tuesday-long time for you long time readers.
4. The wind you feel on your face, Bette Midler is everyone in the Anaheim area hearing the results of the Mike Trout wrist MRI.  
5. With all of the history of the franchise, I was BLOWN away that Pedro is the first Red Sox pitcher with his number retired…amazing.  
6. Oh, sorry…JJ, pops, but mild and exhausting, Can’t be more than Rehab pops from yesterday.
7. The CLUB, people…get your mind out of the gutter.
8. I have no idea what I meant on some of these blog ideas.
9. What the hell is “Vegas plane airport mean?”
10. Forgive my late comment, but the Yankees coming down from 5-0 and winning 21-5 is pretty amazing.
11. Last week (I know we are playing catch up).
12. I have decided to portray myself as the San Diego Padres for today and not. Do. Anything.  
13. Cole Hamels to the Rangers, he lost his first game, and pretty sure their view is the larger picture, meaning who cares what he does until October.
14. I get mad at him sometimes, but so glad I have a dog as a cat until I get a dog, as Jackson is the most social cat I have ever HEARD of.
15. Wall between you and him-can’t stand it.
16. Runs to jump on us when we get home…check.  
17. 
18. I get the financials, but can’t believe the Tigers were sellers at the deadline.
19. David Price is a big splash for the Jays, who keep being active.
20. I have a gut feeling that the Dodgers wanted a little bit more than Latos at the deadline, but it still makes them stronger.
21. Quietly, Kershaw is making us forget about the Greinke scoreless streak.  
22. I was sad to see the Miracle goalie selling his shit until I noticed that the price tag was $5.7 million.  
23. I just came back unsuccessfully from looking under my mattress.
24. I HATE how the ESPN mobile app takes me to the top of the page when I hit the back button.
25. My buddy, Joe, posted a tweet of Gronk spiking Brady’s cell phone…hilarious.
26. Smaller race and smaller town, but props to Pharaoh for winning in Jersey today-legends continues.  
27. I am not sure why Joe doesn’t read a blog by the only other person’s blog at the office who knows sports like him, but know that I would read HIS blog if he had one.
28. $1 tomorrow, Joe, if you comment on that tomorrow at our 8am meeting.
29. Don’t tell him, JJ.
30. My excitement that the Rousey fight hadn’t started her fight when I landed last night was quickly dulled by the fact that the fight last 34 seconds.
31. I don’t care about air brushing-still one of my favorite pics.  
32. Way to “punish” her, Ronda-love that you just ENDED it.
33. In Vegas, you needed to bet $1800 to win $100 on that fight, so that follows.
34. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEE that badass UFC fighter Conor McGregor said HE would be a little nervous about fighting Ronda.  
35. Thoughts and prayers to the Eric Berry family, and glad he can suit up again.
36. I saw a commercial for the new Mission Impossible movie, heard “better than Bourne,” and almost choked up the sandwich I was eating.
37. My number one man crush-my blog.
38. And plus, Good Will Hunting is SUCH a dope film.  
39. Come ON about MI being better.
40. Note to you all for the second time to read the Tom Cruise bracket challenge on Grantland this past week.
41. Upping my prediction to 200 hooks…maybe 190.
42. Congrats to the Bucks getting a new arena, as it is a passionate fan base, a franchise with genuine history, and they are rebuilding the right way.
43. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE that the Packers owner is standing fast and keeping “Lambeau Field,” even though I believe he loses about $375 million by being stubborn.  
44. I am that stubborn, just with less money underneath my mattress.
45. I missed the Tiger post tourney interview, but I assume it went something like “the greens were well taken care of, my swing is almost there, I look forward to the PGA Championship and being competitive, and please just be patient.”  
46. Not sure what he has done since, but nice opening game for Tulo with a HR and 2 doubles.
47. Virginia Tech might be a rival of mine, but is NO one to have four players suspended for the opening game.
48. Kind of joking…Ohio State could play its third string and still be ranked.
49. We went to a cheap happy hour for food today and spent what two drinks cost in Vegas, so I will wait until later this week to eat the Italian sub from Arby’s.  
50. Just trying to figure out which amazing sauce I will put on it.  
51. Is Patrick Warburton the spokesperson for that place yet?
52. Rules of Engagement is the funniest show you have never seen.
53. Jeff Day.  
54. So, I bet you the rest of the MLB is excited that the pitcher rich Giants added another pitcher before the deadline in Leake.
55. Everyone wins, and before analyzing the Russell Wilson contract and judging it, realize he will be a free agent at age 30 and can go to another team…or go play in the MLB.  
56. Dan Haren is going to be an excellent trivia question someday in my lifetime, and love the Cubs picking him up.
57. Jameis Winston is an idiot.
58. I am splitting the atom in this blog.  
59. And apparently, he is “maturing” at the same rate or faster than I am.
60. I hope Mariota jacks him up in the NFL opener.
61. The Skins signing Galette is not as much a support of what he did wrong and more of a case of how desperate the Skins are to get back to the big stage for their truly, truly passionate fans.  
62. I was going to say I like the Royals and Jays in the World Series until I realized they are in the same league.
63. I take the Royals.
64. The fact that Chapman is still on his present team leads me to believe the August “waiver wire, post trade deadline” session is going to be VERY active.  
65. SOOOO funny that the trade deadline is gone and I have read three articles on who ELSE is going WHERE.
66. Harbaugh doesn’t want to be popular…so I am the very non successful version of HIM.
67. OSU trademarked something about Urban Meyer, and I purposely did NOT open that article.
68. I don’t watch NASCAR, but might Google the highlights since people ran out of gas on the last few laps.
69. In case you care, The Mountain from Game of Thrones won the European Strongest Man competition for the second straight year.  
70. He just wants the World’s title, and I want Game of Thrones to start again.
71. That Game of Thrones scene with him is still one of THOSE scenes that I fell of the couch during.  
72. I think my favorite part of the Sheldon Richardson story was reading the words “semi-automatic.”
73. The Jim Gaffigan Show is BEYOND hilarious and you are missing out.  
74. I did NOT know that Mark Cuban missed out on Uber.
75. I live by Uber…truly.
76. Reminds me of when I saw the Twitter guys on Stephen Colbert and he was laughing at their concept.  
77. I have “Puig video game slump” written down and I assume he broke his recent slump by either changing video games or stopping playing video games.  
78. I feel like if I was foreign and good at baseball, I would be a jackass like him.
79. Not looking it up.
80. Lieberman move is solid, and I love the influx of women in the NBA…idiotic and living in a vacuum if you disagree.
81. I put you in the same class if you can’t go to a gay bar and not have fun even if not gay.  
82. So, JJ Watt is apparently pretty good at batting too, and reminds me of 1995, when I walked into Slaughter Gymnasium and saw an All American offensive lineman, Mark Dixon, REIGNING three’s.  
83. Side note-I want to play Hoop-It-Up in whatever city my bachelor party is…Scott and Vince.  
84. By the way, that would be a HELL of a squad…all three of us can shoot it from deep.
85. Name of team, Scott, as you know, would be Deez Nuts.  
86. The more I trash the Mets, the more they add pieces that could aid them for a stretch run.
87. Jerry Seinfeld tweeted “Cespedis for the rest of us” the other day, and I almost lost my shit.  
88. I remember Jimmy Superfly Snuka going against Roddy Piper, and happy trails and thoughts and prayers to the Piper family.  
89. So dope that Ronda payed tribute to him…
90. If you like basketball, and missed the final game of The Basketball Tournament today, then you are not a bball fan.
91. I heard names I hadn’t heard in YEARS today, and it got heated at the end.  
92. I am the guy on the right.
93. The Red Sox CEO left his post this week, and he can, because he got them a couple rings…mission accomplished.
94. The UVA pullover Lindsey bought me a year ago might be my favorite piece of clothing I have ever had.
95. I don’t have free time, but IF I did, and had a corn field by chance, I would make one of these for Mike Tomlin WITHOUT a doubt.  
96. Kind of cool to be a young NFL player who had bleachers buckle at PRACTICE because they wanted my ink.
97. Beckham, people.  
98. My cat jumps off of walls and reminds me of those people who run through the city streets doing urban fitness.  
99. Mom, not getting married at my new DOPE work place, but nice try talking us out of a beach.
100. Inbee Park is the quietest “possibly greatest ever” in any sport I have ever read the name of.
101. Who the HELL is Troy Merritt?  
102. I hope to die someday and spending ONE trip to Marcyk’s in Uptown Denver and NOT walk out without a block of Havarti cheese.  
103. If you think you have a number of how much I love blogging, take that number and multiply it by 100,000.
104. You would be ballpark.
105. Nadal, stop winning the tournaments we don’t care about and win the ones we DO care about.
106. I can’t imagine a girl understanding my difficult personality like Lindsey does, and I hope you find your match too.  
107. Peyton Manning picked an 11 year old and 12 year old to do drills with him, and what a story to go back to school with.
108. Michigan is in the top 5 for teams that might take it all in football, and pretty sure that is more about the passion of the fans and less about the talent.
109. I have found it odd about the players Larry Brown is picking up on the recruiting trail, so I believe the recent allegations.
110. Mudiay originally tipped me off that something fishy might be going on at that very NOT bball school.
111. God BLESS him though, as he truly is a builder.
112. Jamaal Charles says he is he LeBron of the NFL, and I find that a closer comparison than I originally thought when jotting down the hook idea.
113. Stats support he does more than anything else.
114. Read the article about “The Moose” from the Special Olympics and try not to shed a tear.
115. Please keep winning, Danny Garcia, as I LOVE the way you fight.  
116. I think “glitch” is one of my favorite words, and I am talking to your work ethic, Mariota.
117. Arsenal beat Chelsea at something in soccer and I am tired of keeping track.
118. Troy McDaniel had the writing on the wall, right?
119. (too many previous contract extensions-keep up)
120. The Vegas notes.  Feel free to sign off now if just here for the sports blog.
121. Still there? Should be.  I am a fun guy and Lindsey is a fun gal.
122. The Alfredo-Jimmy’s at DIA was better than I expected or I was just starving.
123. The Delay-getting delayed on the way to Vegas is horrible, but maybe being delayed is worse trying to get home.
124. The Wrong Side of Plane-misjudged.
125. The Levels-I rate my pissing need on Defcon levels, and that is solely based on the movie Wargames.  
126. The Landing-I don’t worry about turbulence or landings, as it is out of my control.
127. The Signs-our company signs are at really desolate places in the terminal.
128. The Room-wow-never had THIS view and my lady finds the greatest deals in any realm of anyone you know.  
129. 
130. The Plan-eat and find Ghostbusters.  
131. The First Meal-I joke about a “pizza stomach” but I really do have one.  
132. The Game-Ghostbusters is the greatest dumb game of all time.
133. Or the dumbest great game…whatever.
134. The Cards-panned out for Linds, not me.
135. The Training-thanks, Grandpa, I still follow the rules.  
136. The Borrow-yup-borrowed from Lindsey (but paid it back within 30 minutes).
137. The Almost Comeback-made loss within reason.
138. The Time-geez, I used to be a lot later of guy.
139. The Card Game-why not play poker when we get back to the room?
140. The Wanting-wanting to go somewhere but no energy.
141. The Wakeup-this is the first day?
142. The Brunch-Peggy, you were a great server at The Terrace at the Wynn.  
143. The Pool-the Wynn was awesome, but not overly impressed by pool, and the Euro adults part of the pool only had ONE set of boobs.
144. The Tomato Soup-dipping a sandwich in tomato soup is amazing, and thanks to my brother for making me realize this.
145. The Lap Swimmer-yes, someone was swimming laps in goggles and bathing cap in the Wynn pool.
146. The Cabana People-must suck to spend that money and have it a slow day at the pool.
147. The Wedding Dress-backdated, but The Debacle didn’t inform me that we can’t see the dress beforehand.
148. The Wedding Date-May 23^rd, 2016-probably Cancun.  
149. The Limo Ride-on the way to the helicopter, and seeing the Hoover Dam can’t suck, but get some air conditioning, right?
150. The Accent-can I just purchase an Australian accent?  
151. The Ride-pics below.  
152. 
153. And my favorite of her:  
154. 
155. 
156. 
157. Been in F-14’s and 40 helo’s with the military, so it was fun watching a first timer for a helo ride.
158. The Deli-I think you can tell how many days people have been in Vegas by just looking at them.
159. The Hangout-rest, rest, rest.
160. The Rehab plan-why NOT hit a killer beach party on the way out of Vegas?  
161. Check THAT one off my list.
162. The Skrillex plan-THIS dude is playing downstairs from us in one day?
163. The Steakhouse-when I am paying $54 for the smallest filet, I will complain when not getting PERFECT service.
164. The Almost Nap-fought it off.
165. The NOT Seinfeld-no Jerry for me, and no Snapped for her while in Vegas.
166. The MORE Card Games-more poker…
167. The Sunset-room just got better if that was possible.
168. The Tuxedo Guy-nothing like riding an elevator with four guys who didn’t talk about attire to a club beforehand evidently.
169. The Fountains-never gets old, and Ocean’s was dead on.
170. And you NEED to go if you have never been.  
171. 
172. 
173. 
174. 
175. The Secret-$16 drinks are fun, but Margaritaville on the strip is the bang for your buck at $12 per.
176. The Girls-think I saw Mean Girls at least 5 times that night on the strip.
177. The Pass Out-yup, this night is done and not complaining.
178. The Slow Wake Up-day 3.
179. The Buffet-I have two plates, get full, and then am hungry an hour later-I am a waste of a buffet.
180. The Price-if a normal drink in Vegas is $15, then why wouldn’t I pay $16 for unlimited?
181. The Flower-still don’t know if Wynn garden crap is real or fake, or a mixture.
182. The Pool-still too warm, but it’s a pool. Needed a lazy river for day 3.
183. The Nap-just Linds, not me.
184. One random sports hook that made it on Vegas list-we might ALL want to think about where we are when John Clayton dies ON screen.
185. The Inversion-Lindsey and I have decided that she is 42 and she is 29 when it comes to partying.
186. (I have nap a couple times on this, it is her, and glad I am mature enough to at least sleep now in Vegas).
187. The Show-La Reve combines water with acrobatics, which means it is perfect for me.  
188. 
189. 
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191. 
192. 
193. 
194. I only assume those chicks above are like offensive linemen, and don’t do ANYTHING separately.
195. 
196. The Buffet (again).
197. The DJ-getting excited for Skrillex.
198. The Sunglasses-they broke during Skrillex later, but my blue aviator that cost me $10 should make expensive sunglasses people be very, very sad.
199. Lindsey could be the best cook in the world, and I have a stomach appreciates it.
200. I think her most endearing quality is how much she likes cartoon movies (watching Big Hero 6 because it is on).
201. I think mine is the same but with the fear of dogs dying in movies.  
202. I love corn on the cob but hate corn.
203. I love grape but hate all types of wine.
204. Maybe Rose, but I hate to go there.
205. The Nightclub-finding out Skrillex goes on about 130am (really was 145am and we got there at 11pm to get a “spot”).
206. The Scene-yup, I am 42 and jamming out at a nightclub in Vegas and NOT looking dumb.  
207. 
208. 
209. 
210. The Swingers-thought we had met cool people to listen to Skrillex to, but come to find out after he said “are we DOING this?” that this older couple just wanted to bang us.
211. The Blip-Wonder Woman game gave me a solid 20 minutes of what I USED to be like, it was temporary, and Lindsey is very glad that this was a “blip.”  
212. I didn’t see a show for my first 10 trips to Vegas.
213. I didn’t go up to my room after landing for 7 hours one time.
214. I didn’t leave the casino for a three day trip one time.
215. Oh, so glad those days are behind me.
216. The Final Morning-glad not staying another day.
217. The Lost Pics-thought I lost about 30 pics, but then realized I took about 200 photos on two separate nights without me touching my phone.
218. The Second Wind-I am a machine, and although glad not staying another night, I rallied for final day.
219. The Pink Taco-way too much food on ANY selection, but The Pink Taco is a delightful hangover remedy.  
220. The Queso-I am useless at a buffet, but loading me up with queso beforehand is just plain dumb.
221. The Chains Song-trying to rally, this song both describes me as a person and is on one of the best kept secrets in music.  
222. One of the best CD’s you can hear, people.
223. The Hard Rock-the video wall is amazing behind the front desk.
224. The Pool-Yes, Rehab is worth the hype even in slight rain, and I recommend it to anyone and everyone.  
225. Some dude in line when we left asked me if $10 was worth the price of admission, and I told him to give them $20.
226. And I have been to some major, major parties.  
227. The Quote-Lindsey said during the queso “I like this-it’s cheesy.”
228. The Song-Jump by Van Halen played and I swore I found the final gear right THERE.  
229. The Tab-SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited to leave Vegas in a couple of hours.
230. The Baconator-I don’t love Wendy’s because they put all kinds of STUFF on their burgers, but glad to know the Baconator just comes with mayo and ketchup. Boom goes the dynamite.  
231. The Lines-nothing makes me happier than ANY line getting longer after I get in it-makes me think I am getting away with something.
232. The Fries-McDonald’s has the best fries on earth and are the ONLY fries I don’t need to dip into anything.
233. The Flight-how can I write anything good? Just want to go home.
234. The Re-entry- You get home from Vegas and just expect people on the street to do the same thing as in Vegas-doesn’t work.
235. The Lock-LOVE John, who gives our cat more love when watching our house than anyone ever, but breaking the key in the lock meant that I went more time than in the last 3 years without food-22 hours.
236. I filled up immediately during our Gumbo’s visit.
237. 
238. Yup.  Would take this car in black.
239. 
240. 
241. 
242. Told this guy his jersey is dope, didn’t comment on his company.
243. And a couple for my mom.  
244. 
245. 
247. So, the question is not whether I enjoyed Skrillex, but whether that might be one of the best shows of any kind I have ever seen.  Thanks, Kyle.
248. That’s it. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.