Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
Not on the clock. Evening rant. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations, all. Thanks for joining me. Well, witnesses are backing Jameis Squinston’s version of the alleged sexual assault that has been in the headlines and resurfaced after a 2012 incident. I suppose this is about right. I think it started about the time when the victim described her assaulter as 5’9” to 5’11”. Winston is 6’4”.
2) Could this have been the most boring MVP and Cy Young decision in…like ever? You can provide an argument for any of the four decisions, but you won’t win (Matt, you would be the closest with Mike Trout). Kershaw? Lock. Scherzer? No one else stepped up enough in second half. McClutchen? No other suspects. Cabrera? Made playoffs and stats to back him.
3) Apparently (per Deadspin), Dwayne Bowe actually asked the officer during the traffic stop if Sonic was still open. True story. Deadspin is off the beaten path, but it is all TRUE.
4) I watched the Hawks-Knicks last night. I noticed myself not paying attention to the score frequently because I was too busy listening to the brilliance of Hubie Brown announcing any basketball game.
5) I just watched a commercial for True Detective, a new HBO series. I was about to make a joke about how Matthew McConaughey was demoted to TV shows when Woody Harrelson popped on the screen. Ok. That might be watchable then with Woody, and maybe Matthew is NOT being demoted for not being able to act. At least, Matthew is back to having a deep south accent. A Time To Kill was at least watchable.
6) I wonder if Keanu Reeves and Matthew go out for drinks ever. They would have a lot of fun.
7) Odd stat. Tell your friends. Kyle Korver is 8 games away from breaking the consecutive games with a three record held by Dana Barros. Dana Barros. THAT is reaching deep into NBA archives. I think he was in the first few NBA video games though. Dude could STROKE it.
8) My flipper is ruined for the NFL game. It is already 20-0 Clemson in the beginning of the second quarter. There goes THAT idea.
9) Coach K is anti-tanking. You say some really awesome things sometimes, coach. Thanks for telling us the sky is blue and such.
10) By the way, dipping into my Bill Simmons Grantland arsenal, anyone else notice Duke has no slow white guys in its starting lineup? THAT is just plain ole’ nuts.
11) The Ravens passed and the Jets signed him. Ed Reed has a home in New York now. I seriously don’t know HOW you don’t find a role for him, even at his age. I would pay him to regulate the locker room alone.
12) What a World Cup playoff. Mexico beat New Zealand 5-1 in the first leg of the playoff. So as uncanny as 5-1 wins are in real soccer games, New Zealand now needs to win 6-1 to advance. Fat chance.
13) The AD from Florida says Muschamp WILL fix things for their football program. I suppose he HAS to say this after checking out his checkbook until he decides to fire him.
14) Todd Christensen died way too early at 57 yesterday. What a class act, what a tight end, and most people forget he was a very good running back in college at BYU. He set the bar for a tight end leading the league in receptions, was a 5 time Pro Bowler, and won two titles. Thoughts and prayers.
15) Poor Sam Hurd. He gets 15 years in prison, and now can’t even be on my Rant Squad because he crossed the line/ got caught. You and Lawrence Phillips can BS about how you reached Rant Squad “prime” TOO fast.
16) The amount of coverage on Peyton Manning’s ankle this week in Denver is about the polar opposite of the secondary “coverage” he hopes to face.
17) It is true. The Yankees won’t pursue Brian Wilson because of his beard. God forbid they get an experienced closer who has won but has facial hair. I guess if your NICKNAME is the “beard,” that does rub the Yankees’ bosses the wrong way.
18) For any of you who realize some of the best teams in the country will come from the top of the ACC, Louisville will soon be there also. Sick, sick, sick.
19) Bill Simmons made a great parallel when comparing the Big Ten and ACC this year. It is like comparing the ocean. Us humans only care about the top 1% of the ocean. No one knows what the hell is going on way down below. So, if we talk about depth of a conference, we only care that the top 3-4 of the ACC are simply wicked.
20) The wiggling and jiggling and tightening seems to have temporarily worked on Eleanor. I have been to about 30 stop lights. All good for now. It is so exciting driving my Jeep. The uncertainty of what is going to break next really keeps me alive and kicking. It is like a long term relationship that is always fresh each day with new surprises.
21) I know things are not good when the Steelers are playing at home and they are 1.5 point underdogs to the freaking Lions. I forget if I already wrote a hook on this. Who cares? It is worth saying again regardless.
22) A dog climbed Mt. Everest. True story. Ok. He just climbed to base camp, but that is still pretty cool. The dog I am dog sitting for could probably do that. I did a 14’er with Togo as a puppy, and he could have done about two more peaks. I am glad he couldn’t talk. I was good with the one peak.
23) The Clippers beat the Thunder last night. Solid statement win this early in the season. Matt Barnes, when you have thousands of followers, they WILL still see your angry tweets even if you delete them. By the way, this is what it has come to. Barnes was SO angry that instead of punching a wall, he reached for his tiny phone and tiny keyboard and punched angry thoughts on his Twitter app. Bill Laimbeer would never have done that.
24) Twitter and a young Bill Laimbeer. I just chuckled.
25) I have said it for years. Steven Adams is a project, but give him two more years playing in the NBA and he will be a household name. Mad athleticism, and he WILL have mad skills.
26) I was about to make a joke about a NASCAR driver having to retire from sitting in a car for 3 hours once a week, but then noticed the injury. A broken back? Ok. Joke dismissed. Even the Fillerbuster has limits to my jokes.
27) And Rickey Henderson.
28) Michael Phelps has entered the dope prevention program. Before you bust on him for fake retiring, he already beat you to the bunch. He says he is not ruling anything out for Brazil, and “don’t call me Brett Favre.”
29) That Jared commercial on the airplane is the most dipshit commercial I have seen recently. Who the hell would propose on a plane? Sure, I guess you can buy the booze that is on board, but who the hell is going to propose in a place where you are following the strictest regulations and have the most minimal amount of stuff you could have in the tiniest seats possible? If anything, propose at the airPORT. At least jumping on a plane to a random place to celebrate would be fun.
30) The Lakers and Clippers would consider bringing on Lamar Odom. Sure, why not. The Clippers need a big man, the Lakers need a player who is better than the NBDL players that they presently have, and it would be fun to put him in a place where he already knows where to find the drugs. I think Lamar Odom needs to go to a place like…Milwaukee. Give him a challenge.
31) Can the media follow this Twitter war between Brandon Jennings and JR Smith? Seriously? Social media and those two idiots? It is like crossing the streams in Ghostbusters.
32) Whoops. That was totally improv, but we all know what that means. Ghostbusters theme it is.
33) My dogsitting days are taking me past McDonald’s coming back from the lunch check in on the animals. Things didn’t go to well today. I can’t imagine a Friday passing going any better tomorrow.
34) A shout out to my VP, Todd, who I am not sure if he is actually READING my blog, but he is at least going to the link to see the photos that paid my bet off for his Raiders winning.
34a) And if you wonder why I alternate depression between my Jeep and my personal fantasy team, I JUST let go of Raiders QB Terrelle Pryor from my bench this week. Ugghhh.
35) For reasons I don’t have time to get into, there is a work task that I have nicknamed “Movin’ Out” after the Billy Joel song. The last few days, I have been doing that task WHILE listening to old school Billy Joel songs. It is AWESOME…well, for doing work. Man, I sometimes forget how much of a musical genius he was/ is. Today, I played Prelude/ Angry Young Man. Incredible. It starts out with the equivalent of Van Halen’s Eruption on the keys. Bad. Ass.
36) Note to self. Moe plays the Ogden, about a block away from my new place, on December 6th. Sometimes I guess I just log my to do list in my blog.
37) The rich get richer…again. Bama just got a commitment from the #6 overall (#1 in some rankings) prospect, Da’Shawn Hand. Dude is a DE stud.
38) That is it. I wasn’t on the clock, but want to save some hooks for my long weekend one. Hope you enjoyed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.