Because I was inverted…

If you are jonesing for the clip before getting to my rant:

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

NEW FORMAT: DAILY posts, 20 minute time limit-hard stop.

It is still the weekend, so I might not do exactly 20 minutes, but I won’t wander in my thoughts either.

I feel the need…the need for speed. Post Rant note:  I ALWAYS use this line, so kind of odd what the theme ended up being, because I never pick my theme until AFTER I rant.

1)  As my mind continues to break down what happened at the NBA draft, I come to more conclusions.  At first, I analyze WHO was picked.  Then, I think about WHERE they are going and whether the system/ personnel make sense for them.  It’s been another day, and now I think about who WASN’T picked.  Two crazy omissions in my opinion, and in both cases I am kind of a fan.  West Virginia’s Kevin Jones had no takers.  I am surprised, given some of the names that were called in the second round.  He needs to shoot a little better and beef up a little, but the kid can guard a couple positions, and has a long, NBA type of body.  A little bit of a tweener, but not enough of one to not be called in the first 50 kids.  Northwestern’s John Shurna’s omission makes sense in that he is the poor man’s Adam Morrison.  I get it, but the kid can score.  The mistake with Morrison is that he went top ten.  You wouldn’t take Shurna top ten, but you WOULD take him.  What’s that?  Where is Adam Morrison these days?  Here you go.

2)  The grass is green, the sky is blue, and it just came out that PSU officials “declined” to notify authorities about the Sandusky stuff.  I wasn’t in the courtroom and I could have told you that.  The thing that comes out of this is that PSU is not nearly out of the woods yet on civil suits and other stuff.

3)  Watching Olympic trial swimming is so fun.  I am a swimmer, so I like it more, but the commentary lets me get to know who will be representing us in London.  Cool stories come out, too.

4)  I have been to almost all major US airports.  Pretty sure Denver is the only one who has their airport in a field at the end of a road where it is quite obvious that the uplifting of that area in between failed.  Funny thing is this.  I used to sell investment properties, and that area was one of our targets.  Guess us and everyone else and their mother missed the boat on that one.

5)  Wow, we get a 4 team college football playoff and progressing talks of fielding an L.A.  NFL team.  Good week.  Passive fans or not, it IS kind of ridiculous that the second largest city doesn’t have a football team.  Silly, actually.

6)  Maybe he IS playing us, but I don’t care.  I am becoming a fan of Rangers pitcher Yu Darvish.  He came out this week saying he doesn’t feel “worthy” of an All Star bid.  I like the humbleness.  Two things about this.  One, hey Yu (that is kind of funny to me-I wonder how many people don’t know him and yell “hey, you!” and he thinks they are actually saying his name), you are freaking 10-4.  You do deserve it.  Second, geez.  At some point, I am glad  Chase Utley, my favorite baseball player, is back, because I am feeling a little dirty/ feel like I am cheating on my Phils with my following of Bryce Harper and Yu Darvish.

7)  It is the weekend.  I have decided I am not on a timer.  I have no big plans, I enjoy writing these, and you will still get to enjoy rant succinctness during the week.

8)  A baseball cycle is like the moon, sun, and earth aligning.  A little science, and a little luck.  Well, DBacks 2B Hill has had it happen twice in two weeks.  Fancy.  Dude, things happen in three’s.  Go buy a lottery ticket.  What’s that?  Oh, you already have no money problems.  I get it.

9)  There is now a TV show coming out called Made in Jersey.  Really?  My state is just ALL over the channels.  Tell me this, show producers.  Are you somehow putting a positive spin on the state, or is this just more humor on our stereotype?

10)  The Olympics are going to be FUN.  We have Ryan Lochte taking 2 of 3 against the one of the greatest swimmers of all time in TRIALS, and down south, Usain Bolt is having Yohan Blake make him his bitch.  Everything seems…inverted.  Actually, in the Fillerbuster’s lingo, it should read as this.  Everything seems Top Gunned.  Am I allowed to trademark that like AD did the unibrow?  I am SO watching that movie tonight when I get home.  It has been at LEAST 3 months.

11)  GA has dismissed RB Isaish Crowell from the team after he got busted for guns.  My Rant Squad wants you, Isaiah, so email me and I will give you two guys’ phone numbers with things in common with you.  Marcus Vick and Lawrence Phillips.  Like that Fidelity commercial with the green line, just keep following the path.

12)  I just report NASCAR here.  I actually have no interest in seeing a race, but I think I WOULD like to see a “practice.”  Do they practice passing and stuff with their cars like we did starts and turns when I was a swimmer?  Curious.  Anyway, Montoya and Keselowski got “into it” in practice.  You guys are fighting in PRACTICE.  People, if you either know me or read this regularly, you KNOW where I am going with this hook.  You HAVE to.  Here I am writing multiple sentences on NASCAR on a practice story.  Have you figured it out yet?  Yes?  For those who DON’T know where I am going with this, here it is… (DAMN, I love this clip)

13)  Chris Bosh will rest during the Olympics because of injury.  Makes sense, dude.  I mean, if you were to play, and light it UP, then we wouldn’t have the luxury of discounted your part of the “big three south” or “Miami Thrice” or whatever, when in fact you ARE the most important part of the equation because of your inside presence.

14)  One more thing on racing.  I happened to pick up on a name I have NEVER heard of during a racing commercial.  Then, a guy wins the Nationwide race today and I SWEAR it is the same guy from the commercial.  Weird that I would notice this, and no, I am NOT looking it up.  I know this is not my most monumental hook ever, but just throwing it out there.  Austin Dillon.

15)  CRAZIEST story in the Olympic trials.  The two chicks who tied in the 100m who they are working out a plan to break the tie (shut up, Justin Gatlin.  no jello-wrestling)?  They ran the 200m.  They were in different heats, but they tied AGAIN.  Wow.

16)  I forgot to mention during my Top Gun reference that the Fillerbuster (The Fillerbuster is talking like Rickey Henderson today evidently) noticed that Tom Cruise and his woman are ending their marriage.  Ten to one is that he is pulling a Brad Pitt, and his next woman will be SOMEONE who was on the Rock of Ages set.  Moving on.

17)  Yay.  Kevin Garnett reads my blog.  A day after me saying that he will still be a Celtic, he announces that he is indeed going to do so.  Thanks, Kevin.  Call me.  We can go play Golden Tee OR I can finally walk through some shady Denver neighborhoods I was scared to.  Meanest, scariest looking guy ever…well, at least in basketball.

18)  I continue to hear that the Heat really want Ray Allen.  Someone get an interview with their head accountant and tell me if the story changes.  I think it will.

19)  Tiger is making a move at Congressional as we speak.  Did you get to watch any of it?  It was kind of cool.  You were watching professional golf on a main stage with NOT ONE spectator initially because of the storms.  Hold on, let me see where he is at.  Be right back………………………………………………………………………Cool, he just finished and ended at 6 under, one behind the lead.  Thanks for giving me a flipper for EURO 2012 tomorrow, bro.  Good looking out for me and my couch.

20)  Steve Nash is looking at the Toronto Raptors.  WWHHHHHOOOOOAAAA, Steve.  Take is easy.  I realize you are Canadian.  I realize Toronto is in Canada.  But, it is a pretty LARGE country.  You are from the other side of it, and to be frank, they SUCK.  Don’t do it.

21)  I LOVE this headline.  “2000 performers secretly perform in London.”  Two things on this.  One, it HAS to be hard for 2000 people to do ANYTHING.  Second, if you are reporting they performed, how is it secret?  Dammit, Jack Handy.  Give.  Me.  A.  Call.  Now.

22)  I LOVE what Mike Tyson is doing these days.  He lived his life doing all this dumb shit, and now people are eating up the fact that he is making fun of it himself.  It started with The Hangover.  Then, the show.  Now, he has come out saying that Holyfield’s ear would have been better with BBQ sauce.  Classic, bro.

23)  ESPN Mag did the best sports moments in each state’s history.  Pretty cool. actually. If you are curious, in Alaska, #1 was when D2 Anchorage Seawolves beat #2 Michigan in basketball NOT in the tourney.  It barely edged out a 1 second win by someone over someone in the Iditarod.

24)  Ok.  I am now officially concerned.  We are coming to the All Star break, and the Phillies are SEVEN games under .500.  This is the first year in a LONG time where I was praying for .500 instead of a title at this point.  Oh, and in case you are curious, the last time that pitcher Cliff Lee actually WON a game???  Anthony Davis was not even at Kentucky yet.  Ouch.

25)  I have what I call “chick songs.”  I pick one song every few months that does it for me that as a heterosexual normal dude, I admit I am embarrassed to like.  I did it undercover back in the day, but over the last few years, I pretty much announce what my embarrassing song is.  By the way, it is usually a little dated when I start liking it, because since I am at first changing the radio station when I hear it, there is a delay before I realize that I like it.  Anyway, without further ado, my chosen song for the next two months that is a chick song that I realize is stupid for a dude like me to like is…Raise Your Glass, by Pink.  Nothing more on this, except that “Hey, Kyle.  Thanks for the recommendation of that new Katy Perry song.  I do actually like it, but Pink gets the nod, and our chick songs shouldn’t be the same anyway.  It doesn’t seem right.”

26)  The Orioles just obtained Jim Thome from the Phillies.  Really?  I would have bet my rent he was riding off into the sunset with the Phillies, but at least he boosts that young locker room in Baltimore.  I am not sure how much he has left to provide ON the field.  Or, maybe he just really likes aquariums and good crab dinners.

27)  Finally, a movie review.  I am a hard core Family Guy fan.  LOVE that show.  So, as the commercials kept running on TV, and as I had a bubble of time this afternoon, I walked over to see Ted (sorry, Lindsey-I couldn’t wait another couple days).  I was pleasantly surprised and was overall satisfied.  I won’t ruin it for you, so here are a couple tidbits that will tease you:

-it had a PLOT

-Tosh.O’s character was pretty well cast for his personality

-Patrick Warburton aka Putty from Seinfeld plays a gay man…here is the kicker.  His lover is that guy from the Green Lantern.  They kiss.

-LOTS of 80’s references that you will find funny whether you watch Family Guy or not, but they will be funnier if you are a fan.

-Megan’s voice person was the main actress.  I am not good with names of actresses and actors, so you figure it out.

-Mark Wahlberg was good.  You get a little dance, a little rhyme, and for you ladies, you get a partial of his ass.

-the most serious, sincere, moving movement of the movie was a monologue by….the teddy bear.  Seriously.

-there are “moments” when it nudges/ crosses the line like Family Guy does that were freaking hilarious.

-watch an old episode of Flash Gordon before seeing the movie, and it will be 1000 times more funny

28)  That is it.  Golden Tee time.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.

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