Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
Not on the clock. I have been off for two days. Lots to say. Morning rant. Let’s turn and burn.
1) OK. We are about a month away from college football. A couple months ago? You SHOULD be practicing. Now? You ARE practicing. Well, everyone except for Johnny Manziel. It is like he WAITS for the media to get distracted from his daily microcosm for a week or so, and THEN does something stupid. He got kicked out of a frat party this weekend at UT…wearing a Tim Tebow jersey. I think he is misunderstanding the media when they say he should lay low on partying a little and be more like Tim Tebow. Someone give me a flow chart. I am confused what I am most mad about this on this one.
2) Donovan McNabb will officially retire an Eagle on Monday. Are they playing Hall & Oates as his send off song? Because he WAS so close, yet so far away.
3) Vikings coach Leslie Frazier has told Gregg Jennings to quit laying it on Aaron Rodgers through the media. I concur. Why don’t you wait and get a ring with someone else throwing it to you to talk it up? At this point, we just know you shined with Aaron throwing it to you. We need clarification before laughing at your wisecracks. Let’s break this down mathematically. If a and b both win a ring, and b has an MVP, then b most likely had more to do with it than a.
4) Hmmm. Even when I was SIX years old, I would have known this was pretty darn good. Six years old, 5 home runs, 5 at bats, on 5 first pitches. http://deadspin.com/this-six-year-old-apparently-hit-five-home-runs-in-five-935318629
5) Good stuff, and at least this didn’t happen LAST week during a golf Major. Hunter Mahan was leading a tournament at 13 under when he got the call that his wife was going into labor. He left the tournament. Good man, and just miss the 4 biggies, honey.
6) Darrelle Revis is practicing again. I guess they ARE coming out with another Jurassic Park.
7) I was reaching there. That was supposed to be funny because Revis is an “island.” Probably could have delivered it better.
8) For your benefit and mine, I am skipping a lot of things that are on this huge list that occurs when I don’t rant for two days. I would like to do something today.
9) LeBron is out (sorry, Logan-I will at least skip the hook about LeBron passing Kobe as most popular NBA’er), and Kevin Durant and Kevin Love are both in for the Olympics. Chris Paul is also in now that Coach K is back on board. Am I going crazy? I know they have warmup practices and tournaments and stuff, but is there a little too much talk about 2016 during the summer of 2013?? Don’t rush us. Time moves fast enough on its own.
10) Why does Word start indenting every time on the 10th hook? Ugghhh.
11) Ryan Braun lost his endorsement deal with a sponsor. The deal was with Kwik Trip, which was about the same time frame where he had GOOD superstardom.
12) In their little last one on one chat, whose idea do you think it was to be very non Brady or non Belichick like and actually TALK about Aaron Hernandez? Belichick did it first, but that might have been just because he was next on deck for an interview.
13) Does Derrick Rose text Rickey Henderson on a regular basis? The Fillerbuster wants to know.
14) That was funny because I just talked about myself in the third person. So did they. Nevermind.
15) I can’t figure out if the Yankees just don’t want A-Rod to play or if they are just delaying to wait for the big “BANNED FROM BASEBALL” announcement.
16) I thought we already KNEW that Aaron Hernandez was walking around his house with a gun. I didn’t think that was news.
17) He is old, but Alfonso Soriano can still play some ball. If he holds up, he WILL help the Yankees this year…and then be an overpaid aging superstar for the other years. They can copy and paste stories about all of their other players.
18) South Carolina says they are finding NO Jay-Z-Clowney ties or benefits. Considering he is the front runner for a defensive player who doesn’t return kickoffs to win the Heisman, I am sure the school is looking REALLY hard.
19) Only on Deadspin. If you were curious if social media has made it easier to stay a high school virgin, they have it covered. http://deadspin.com/has-social-media-made-it-easier-to-be-a-high-school-vir-908899534
20) I seriously couldn’t imagine being in school these days. Computers (we only used a computer to play Larry Bird vs. Dr. J), cell phones, Facebook, Twitter. In my day, the results of a truth or dare game would take weeks to leak any information. These days? I am assuming people would know DURING the seven minutes in heaven who you were in there with.
21) Lindsey asked me to buy Cheez Whiz at the grocery store. I did. I have coincidently started putting it on everything at every meal. I already had a 12 year old kid diet. I guess now I am getting closer to 10 years old or so.
22) I might have some habits my roommates dislike, but I can tell you ONE thing. When you live with me, you NEVER run out of ice cubes. EVER.
23) I am not sure why Pierre Garcon saying that the Skins offense could be their best ever this year bothers me so much.
24) Tim Tebow says the whole Aaron Hernandez thing is “heartbreaking and sad.” No one is sure if he thought that he was being asked about his own career.
25) Seriously, watch Drunk History. I even learned something I didn’t know on the last episode.
26) Bob Stoops and Will Muschamp received a contract extension until 2020 and $250k contract raise respectively. So, basically they must be really, really nice guys.
27) That was funny because no one has won anything (for Stoops, in a long, long time).
28) Speaking of not winning anything, if you care, The AD at USC is behind Lane Kiffin 100%. That makes ONE of you. Maybe two if you count the QB he decides to start.
29) Aaron Rodgers is hurt because Ryan Braun lied to him about using PED’s. They even had opened a restaurant together as they are good friends. Think of it this way, Aaron. This will take your mind off your spat with Greg Jennings.
30) Adrian Peterson says there are NFL players using HGH. I am beginning to think that Snowball and A.P. are friends. They both come from the camp of “I am going to say something to the media whether asked or not, or whether involved in the story or not.” Don’t worry. I will still pick you up in fantasy if given the choice.
31) Why is Tarell Brown a household name this week? He is just a cog on the wheel in 49ers camp, but also is THAT guy. His agent overlooked that he would lose $2 million in pay if he didn’t attend voluntary workouts for the team. I don’t have time to break down ALL the numbers, but the dude’s salary is only $2.9 million, and it is bad however the numbers work out.
32) Lindsey and I left the house to eat and no idea what we would do. It’s nice to be in Colorado, where you can swing by Target, pick up an innertube, and then go plop it in the rapids ten miles away after rock jumping a few times. Double dibs as it is also nice having a girlfriend down with driving a direction and THEN figuring plans out.
33) The Rays are quietly in first place of their division. The Blue Jays are quietly still in last place. Before the season, I would have thought (along with a LOT of other people) that this would be inverted.
34) Inverted…yay. Top Gun.
35) Word is that Tyson Gay failed MULTIPLE drug tests in 2013. Usain Bolt and the entire country of Jamaica would make me think about cheating too. When the HELL did everyone from that country get so fast? They are like the Kenya of sprinting.
36) Lindsey and I are going to the zoo and IMAX today. In a perfect world, I would like to see the US-Panama game, but I guess sometimes there just aren’t enough hours in the day.
37) And I don’t believe in that thing called TIVO. I am an odd person.
38) The Phillies got that Cuban pitching prospect Miguel Gonzalez. I am now hopeful they will NOT be sellers before the trade deadline. Of course, that would also dictate that those Cliff Lee trade talks go away also.
39) The Pacers quietly got Luis Scola this weekend in a trade involving Gerald Green and draft picks/ other players. Who cares what else they had to give up? If I see Scola for Green in pretty much any scenario, I am saying it is a smart trade.
40) Braylon Edwards says that in his limited practice time with Geno Smith, that Smith is “legit.” Fuel to the dramatic fire that is the New York Jets.
41) On that note, the Jets GM says that the Jets QB decision will be a “collective” decision. That means the coaches tell him who THEY would like to start and then he reminds them of how much salary each is making.
42) I would like to thank my mother for feeding me pumpernickel bread when I was a kid. It is still my go too bread or bagel to this day.
43) The bagel place close to our house has “Soup of the Day: No Soup for YOU!” on its blackboard.
44) Michigan landed the #3 recruit for 2015 this weekend. That kid should play basketball too.
45) That is funny because of my earlier Olympic basketball hook and how that year seems so far away.
46) Tony Stewart says that Danica Patrick is meeting expectations in her career. Either he is undermining her using Jedi tricks or wants to hit that.
47) I heard a rumor that Von Miller’s suspension might not have been drug based. We should ask for another press conference so we can see what he dresses like THIS time.
48) If you live in Denver and like Cajun food, you should go have gumbo at Gumbo’s. Killer happy hour too. $3 bowls of Gumbo with $3 and $4 drinks. AND their happy hour at the Uptown location has Saturday happy hour and ALL DAY Sunday happy hour.
49) Going to Sancho’s Broken Arrow on String Cheese Incident concert night at Red Rocks is like going to an English Bar while Denver is hosting the World Cup.
50) That is funny because there is no one there.
51) Max Scherzer won his 15th game this weekend. He has lost one game. Anyone else have new respect for Denny McClain’s 31 wins in 1968?
52) SO sad McClain only won 131 games overall.
53) OK. I watched The Blind Side. Sandra Bullock and all. It was solid, and she was good….uhhhh…watchable. Sorry. I dislike her. Glad I watched it though.
54) That is it. List items fully passed over or checked off. Hope you enjoyed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWn question, bro. Peace.