Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
NOT on n the clock. Day rant. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greettings and salutations, all. Thanks for joining me. Happy New Year. I will blog while watching football while my girlfriend nap and eating sour cream Ruffles, sour dough pretzels, NOT reduced salt Ritz, and Sriracha popcorn. Hey. New Year’s resolutions don’t start ON the day off. That is silly.
2) We all kind of felt that the South Carolina-Wisconsin game would be the best game. We were right thus far. Glad my couch and I are here.
3) Every time I see Samuel Jackson in a Capital One commercial, I am wondering if he thinks it will spark an Alec Baldwin type of comeback. You will always have Pulp Fiction, man.
4) And this, which I have been known to play on a bar jukebox. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czb4jn5y94g
5) A lot…
5a) And of course recite it DURING my playing of it in the bar…
6) I am not impressed with the Direct TV big fatty face commercial.
7) The only unfortunate thing about Nebraska winning today is that I know that one person down south is happy.
8) I luckily don’t have to worry about that as Virginia couldn’t be one of the 1000 teams that make a bowl game.
9) The Duke onside kick in the first half against Texas A&M when up 35-17 was dope. The comeback by Manziel was the polar opposite of dope. Still working on the word. Dammit, Manziel. Sorry, Logan.
10) Sriracha popcorn is kind of hot. Just saying. Delicious.
11) Wire quote Cavs fans didn’t like a couple years ago. “LeBron rumored to leave.” Wire quote Cavs fans don’t like now. “Cavs Irving to have MRI.” Wire quote Cavs fans don’t KNOW if they dislike or like. “Gasol-Bynum rumors for a trade.”
12) Purists might argue, but I think it was good to give Peyton that “forward” pass. Brees doesn’t care, and we don’t want technicalities to ruin what might have been the greatest QB season ever. Another excuse to show my favorite picture ever.
13) I have shampoo effect. If you don’t know what that is, good job on never having a really, really good time and then waking up too early. Aaron, I STILL think you coined that phrase. We can split the Tripod and Frostzip money when I patent them.
14) Rory McIlroy and Caroline Wozniacki. As both of their games were going south, a fly on the wall told me that making it official would at least let them practice more.
15) A day after I said Jimbo Fisher should never leave FSU, guess what happens. The #4 RB decommits to Florida and commits to FSU.
16) AND…FSU lands the #27 overall recruit and DE. Just saying. They must have read my blog.
17) Do you know how to tell a situation is jacked up? When my rant states that the Browns firing Chudzinski was BS AND a guy who has been fired about 100 times starts getting his back WHILE still employed. Norv Turner. Boom goes the dynamite.
18) Tim Tebow says he is NOT done with the NFL even though he will be an SEC announcer. Good. At least I know he doesn’t have enough time to be good at either.
18a) I bet you expected a photo there, didn’t you?
19) Jerry Jones says he is in no rush to make any coaching decisions. Jerry, just call US when you DO make a decision. Stay off the wire.
20) If Texas hires a head coach named “Strong” right after a failed hiring with “Mack,” I am going to think 50% of their committee process is about the tough sounding name. I am glad Eric Styrker is still a college player. He would be first in line too.
21) Off the record, I say do the Bynum-Gasol swap. Two underachieving, not very liked, NBA bodies that maybe will do better in a different city. Or, for Bynum, back in his OLD city. He is pretty much doing a tour of the NBA.
22) Congrats, Bob. Your UCLA team beat Virginia Tech, and beat our rival in the process. I didn’t see the box score, but I hope that crazy LB guy was the offensive AND defensive player of the game.
22a) That was not meant as funny.
23) I never thought I would say this, but I think I had too much caramel vodka and apple cider last night. The holidays are done. I don’t have to worry about saying that until next year. I called the drink the Festivus. We never got to the feats of strength or the airing of grievances.
24) South Carolina, my closet college team, is ALWAYS good, but never good enough to truly close the deal. Win one there and you are money forever, Ball Coach.
25) Ok. Ten point lead. Switching to hockey.
26) HOW do they make it snow every year wherever they hold the Winter Classic? Can they do that for the Super Bowl?
27) If you would have told me that Phoenix would be #5 in the NBA standings at this point in the year, I admit I would have hit you in the face unless you lived IN Phoenix.
27a) Unless you were bigger than me.
27b) You could put up an argument if you want about how Jeff Hornacek wasn’t coach of the year, but you would lose.
28) I believe that Aaron Craft is the best man on defender in college in years. I believe that their recruiting classes are always good. I do NOT believe they are contenders. Not buying, Ohio State.
29) So, I guess since they have wrecked my bracket 3 of the last 5 years, I guess you can book it that they win it all.
30) I have said it for years. Hockey announcers overall are SO much better than any other sport. I will rank baseball next (so much down time). Football, and then basketball. Well, except for Hubie Brown. He overrules all of the preceding.
31) I once again did not pull Deadspin links. Just wake up five minutes earlier before work tomorrow, go to the site, and laugh, laugh, laugh.
32) Props to Lindsey’s friend, Bauer. Knowledgeable as all Chicago fans are, can talk any sport, loves Lindsey to death, and my night is always better after chatting Chicago sports with him.
33) O’Brien is going to the Texans. I know it is about the money, but if I am Christian Hackenberg, I am unloading a roundhouse on his face. What a sellout.
34) When I die, I have decided that I would like this song played at my funeral. Lindsey doesn’t like me talking about this, but it is what it is. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9024VFH8rQ
35) Give me Here I go Again by Whitesnake and Moonlight Sonata in full by Beethoven also. Make it a musical funeral. No melancholy people there. And I meant the THIRD movement of the Moonlight Sonata, not the dull FIRST movement.
36) We were talking fraternity hazing last night. I am always glad I never had to do the elephant walk, and am glad I went to an intellectually embarrassing hazing fraternity. Running around in freezing weather naked covered in flower and singing I Would Do Anything For Love by Meatloaf in a full library kind of stuff. And by the way, when your big brother says you SHOULD pour the Mad Dog 20-20 (Orange) on your shirt instead of actually drinking it, you should…unless you want a story. Which I have.
36a) I am getting old. The label is MUCH different, and even while Googling it, I couldn’t find the old school one.
37) Park and Co. has the BEST burgers in Uptown. We didn’t go to a breakfast place this morning unfortunately since it is a normal Wednesday to bars, so I had the Croque, which is a fancy poached egg on a burger. KIND of breakfast.
38) Lindsey and I have a one size smaller than me green North Face pullover. It is awesome. We have tried to give it to 3 people, and all forgot to take with. We are either liquoring people up too much at our place, or it must have a small red dot I can’t see.
39) Thoughts and prayers to the AP photographer who died the other day after getting on the field photographs. Sad.
40) The Chargers made a VIDEO that pissed off the Bengals? First of all, the always underachieving Bengals don’t need any motivation, and second of all, you will lose, Chargers.
41) Seriously, hockey announcers are the best. Yes. I checked on the football game. SC won. I am purposely not trying to find other football games until this hockey game in the snow is done.
42) I don’t know where Lovie Smith will end up, but he deserves to coach SOMEWHERE.
43) Hey, Urban Meyer, one of your players is misbehaving again. Regulate.
43a) I miss Nate Dogg…and I can guarantee I am one of a 100 people who has a solo CD by him.
43a) Smoothest voice in rap for YEARS…here he is doing the Pledge of Allegiance. Dirty.
44) While watching Bruce Ellington score from South Carolina a little bit ago, I realized that I can’t think of one WR named Bruce. Well, as a FIRST name for you Isaac Bruce fans.
45) Hey, Nick. Did Sam ever hook up with that chick we left him with last night? I guess I could text him or have Lindsey text him, but this is more fun. She was cute, Nick. Hope he did well, and good to hang out with you while you were giving the house to him to STILL most likely mess it up.
46) Toronto just scored against the Red Wings, and these announcers have me PUMPED for this hockey game.
47) That was not sarcastic.
48) Michael Vick says he expects to start next season somewhere. SOMEWHERE is the key part of that sentence. A 34 dual threat QB is not exactly FIRST on scouts minds. It would be like the NFL version of The Rookie.
49) I hope that because Lindsey is taking a nap now that it doesn’t mean that I can’t take a nap later.
50) Red Wings score. This is so awesome. 2-2.
51) Teddy Bridgewater will go pro. Smart move. Houston I guess is a nice end point and a waste of offensive talent this past season. At least he isn’t going to Jacksonville or Cleveland. Could be worse.
52) I have a work trip in Miami in three weeks. Excited to see my parents for the first time in 3-4 years. I forget which, but it has been a long time.
52a) SHOOTOUT. Gotta go.
53) That is it. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.
53a) It is January 1st. Does that mean I will be going to house parties with people smoking pot on the porch? When Lindsey wakes up, I will ask her. Confused.