ABC.

  1. Greetings and salutation, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).  A good amount of stuff to get to tonight, and some time to get touch on all of them, so let’s move.
  2. Jimbo Fisher says the ACC is the best in the country for football.  I guess if we are talking about the teams at the top, he might be right.  Get further down to teams like UVA and BC and we have another conversation.  The worst in the ACC could not beat the worst in the Big Ten, Pac 12, or SEC.  Just saying.  But, if Jimbo is talking about FSU, UL, NC State, Miami, Va Tech, and Pitt, he is in the ballpark.
  3. MAN, that first weekend matchup between FSU and Bama is going to be early season EPIC.
  4. Let me get this straight.  The VP of Basketball Operations from the up and coming Kings is debating on heading to NYC to take over a GM job?  First, isn’t a VP “higher” in ranking so isn’t this kind of a demotion?  Second, NYC is cool and all, but the Kings roster is looking pretty solid.  I wouldn’t go ANYWHERE right now.
  5. I feel like I should care more about the broken merger of DraftKings and FanDuel…but I just don’t.  Not sure of their logic either way though.  Merging is the smart thing to do for survival no matter now you slice it.
  6. The Cubs picked up a starting pitcher today in Quintana.  Odd that it came from across the city, and not sure if that totally solves the fact they are very much underperforming this year.  That being said, I still am on record saying that the Cubs turn it around.  It will be interesting watching teams like the Rockies try and fend them off late season.
  7. Here is a fact to tell your friends.  The tickets for the Cubs winning the World Series just expired, so Vegas can tell us the results without reminding people to cash in.  THIRTY percent of the tickets did not get cashed.  Keepsake?  Whatever.  I am busting out a Xerox of that bad boy and getting my cash.
  8. Just like in Star Wars, which is the main problem with this “joke,” “there is another.”  My colleague, Rob, has seen the LEAST amount of movies that everyone pretty much has seen at least once in their lifetime as they are a right of passage, but we found another person today with the same issue.  I won’t call this new person out quite yet as they are new to the 3rd floor.  But, seriously, can you IMAGINE not seeing ANY of these movies in your life thus far?  Seriously.  
  9. I am sitting here watching NBA Summer League and Dennis Smith is playing.  This kid is going to be amazing in the long run, and can’t believe this draft was top heavy enough to drop all the way down to the Mavs late in the top 10.  Amazing.
  10. Halftime though, so I am switching to…Big 3 bball.  More fun anyway.
  11. Story I admit I totally stole from si.com.  When they built the Marlins ballpark, they consulted with engineers from NASA on the correct height of the roof.  NASA gave them back numbers, and decided no one could EVER who played baseball would be able to hit the roof.  Aaron Judge just shot THAT theory to shit.  Tell your friends.  Image result for aaron judge hits roof
  12. I think about if I was writing for the Rotoden site these days.  But, then I realize I just don’t have the bandwidth to write an article and trade the article back and forth with the editor for days before it posts.  For now, I write how I write.  Check out the site though if you like NBA basketball.  Good stuff, and hope to contribute later this summer.  https://rotoden.com/ #rotoden
  13. Seriously, what a great story Venus Williams is right now.  She starts the tourney distracted because she might be sued and charged with manslaughter.  She fights through her first couple of matches somehow (tears included), gets cleared by a surveillance camera previously not released, and now will be playing in the Final against a very beatable opponent.  She teased us for the first time since 2008 in the Aussie Open with a Final appearance.  Now, she can cement this year.  It is almost scary that she is pretty much subbing in for Serena’s absence by winning.  Image result for venus williams advances
  14. Get as much as you can out of these McGregor-Mayweather pressers.  Do it.  Enjoy fully.  The fight is going to be boring and suck and be a demolition, so this is all we have is PUB.  Image result for conor mcgregor press conference
  15. I am still amazed Floyd is fighting this fight.  He is heading into it with EVERYTHING to lose for himself AND boxing, and not much to win (except a boatload of cash of course).  I get the payday, but God forbid if Conor catches one lucky shot during the match.  Floyd’s legacy will indeed be tarnished, no matter what his age is.  Listen, I have seen most Mayweather fights.  We ALL want a good fight, but old or not, you freaking just can’t HIT the guy cleanly.  He is simply too good.  He backs up his mad mouth.  Totally.  Image result for floyd mayweather fight
  16. Ugghhh.  This Lonzo stuff is beating me up.  He has a great game.  Fantastic.  He wears Nike sneaks.  Great.  LaVar gets to talk.  Figuring out a resolution is kind of like my frustration during the Tebow football years.  Just.  End.  Except this situation involves a dad, who is the real bane of my existence.  And Lonzo is going nowhere.  So weird I was a HUGE fan and then his dad started pissing me off.  Image result for lonzo ball nike
  17. Don’t jump off bridges, yet, soccer fans.  True, the U.S. gave us a heart attack against Martinique, but let’s cool our jets by remembering we were starting the bench guys and experimenting.  Sigh.  Barely.  That was CLOSE.
  18. I read si.com because it is non ESPN biased info.  It is good.  But, dammit, if the constant pop-ups don’t drive me nuts.  I am NOT on a porn page.  I am reading, well trying to read, about SPORTS.  Change some settings for us.  Please.
  19. Of course, ESPN has that damn Insider membership that limits articles you can read, so I guess you pick your poison.  I am an Insider.  In some email or user name.  I never can remember it, and it doesn’t seem to accept my ESPN Mag free membership.  I admit of course to not trying too hard on this.  I just Google the subject and read it somewhere else.
  20. Big 3.  New game starting.  So THAT is what Brian Scalabrine is doing these days.  Yay.  Found you.  Image result for brian scalabrine
  21. Not all of my clips are worth clicking on.  I admit it (kind of-I love them all).  But definitely click on THIS one.  This was recently voted the worst soccer sequence EVER by…soccer people.  It lives up to its billing.  http://deadspin.com/heres-20-seconds-of-profoundly-terrible-soccer-1796854673
  22. Hey, Federer, and my pre tournament prediction for Wimbledon, Don’t.  DON’T.  Don’t mess this up.  You are the only Big 4 guy left.  As Pullman would say in Independence Day and still my favorite line that makes no sense at all, “gentlemen, let’s plow the road.”  Image result for independence day pullman plow the road
  23. Seriously, how do you plow the road?
  24. You probably have heard about Miko Grimes by now.  If you live in a vacuum and somehow haven’t, here is an on point explanation, and reading it on Deadspin is always more fun.  http://deadspin.com/miko-grimes-says-she-tweeted-dumb-shit-on-purpose-to-ge-1796858803
  25. For the Big 3 tourney, do the organizers regulate their names?  I can think of LOTS of better names for these teams.  Case in point.  My Hoop-It-Up nickname back in the day was Deez Nuts.  Yes, that was also in 1993.  Damn, The Chronic is one of the best albums like…ever.  Image result for dre the chronic
  26. I am through two episodes of The Defiant Ones.  WELL done.  Great camera work.  Great editing.  Worth watching thus far and then some.  You are missing out.  Image result for the defiant ones
  27. Speaking of HBO, JONESING for this weekend’s first episode of Game of Thrones.  For the thousandth time, if you are not on the boat, you have NOT missed the boat yet.  You can catch up.  Binge watch with lots of pizza and popcorn.  It is fun.  Trust me.  Image result for game of thrones new season
  28. I LOVE Wimbledon.  Love it.  Love tennis.  Play tennis (well, used to-need to find a worthy opponent to hit with).  Anyway, this is INSANE about their love of the color white.  http://deadspin.com/boys-doubles-team-forced-to-change-out-of-black-underpa-1796861469
  29. I have it on my list, but don’t feel like commenting on the Houston Nutt thing.  You write a blog.  YOU write about it.  Moving on.
  30. Because of all of the nice things he does commemorating his mom, we can’t hate him.  Because he is an ex-Steeler, I can’t hate him.  DeAngelo Williams released the teams who should NOT call him, which is interesting for a guy HOPING he gets ANY call.  Anyway, Browns and Jags.  No explanation necessary, D.  Panthers.  Got it.  They screwed you over.  Cowboys?  He hates the fan base.  Most of us do.  They are irritating.  They are still the richest franchise in the WORLD though, D.  Not sure I would lock Jerry out.  Dream job of just backing up Ezekiel.  It doesn’t sound like a bad gig.
  31. The NBA will strike 4 timeouts to shorten games even more.  Teams have way too many as it is.  Strike away.  For TO’s and strategy, I will tune into the college game a million times over anyway.
  32. I love when a coach admits he is on the hot seat before his season starts. #sumlin
  33. Yup.  Richard Sherman sounds like the right guy to be telling players to strike.  Sounds about right.  In reality, I side with him and then some on the fact that MLB and NBA players are getting WAY too much money these days for less of contact sports.  NBA is just out of this universe.  Caldell-Pope is getting…you should be sitting down…$18 million this year to play for the Lakers.  Wow.  
  34. It has been released that $75 million has been allocated to upgrade Colfax Avenue in Denver.  First of all, it probably isn’t enough.  Second, how can we continue to tell great Colfax jokes if you make it pretty and stuff?  Don’t do it.  We will just continue to walk very carefully down the street and like it.  For you out of towners, Colfax is odd because too of the most wanted neighborhoods in Denver, Cap Hill (my old hood) and Uptown (my hood) are literally on either side of it.  Hood literally on one street with mostly invisible fences keeping people ON the street.  But there are restaurants and bars and places you need to go on it.  I could walk out of my condo, walk on my nice looking street, and be at Colfax in about 45 seconds walking normally.  And maybe get stabbed or mugged.  Weird.
  35. And actually, if I walked that 45 seconds, you would see me pop into this picture.  Image result for colfax avenue denver
  36. The best bars are on the street too.  That doesn’t effect me now that I am dry, but my good times were had and I want people to enjoy them too as they are and unchanged.
  37. How did I go my entire life thus far and JUST find out that Tom Brady was selected in the 18th round by the Expos as a catcher?  Did YOU know that?  Dammit.  He was good at something else enough to be a pro.  Dammit.
  38. As I mentioned last time, I found the magic of an older group named Pop Evil for my workouts.  Had no clue they existed.  Anyway, I told you the songs I downloaded.  After a few workouts since then, I hereby until further notice THIS the greatest workout song…like ever…until I find another odd group I didn’t know about.  This song makes me want to run through a freaking wall.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuHZ4EbTMUk
  39. Since I don’t have bar tabs, I have a little more free time.  I somehow have become kind of…umm…an Amazon addict suddenly.  Just little things, and now I am Prime so it is free shipping, but still might be a future thing I need to check myself on.  For now, I will buy useless shit as I see fit.
  40. Hey, that rhymed.  I am a poet and don’t know it.  But my feet show it.  They are Longfellows.
  41. (just an engrained phrase from my childhood-not sure how that came out)
  42. Djokovic-injury.  Murray-injury.  These guy should NOT play until NYC.  Rest up, gentlemen.  It won’t get easier on the equalizer that is hardcourt tennis.
  43. See, Cavs fans?  It is just getting AWESOME for you now.  You can take a minute to go Google him, but congrats on the big Cedi Osman signing.  THAT will get you past the Warriors.  Congrats. Image result for cedi osman
  44. I almost stopped blogging to go workout again today since when I pasted that Pop Evil song link, I played it.  Incredible song.  Has every element I ask for in a workout song I think.
  45. The MLB All Star Game?  Yup.  I watched the video clips, commentary, and highlights.  I watched The Defiant Ones instead of it.  I guess you can assume I am in the group that will miss it meaning something.  By the way, it doesn’t have to mean EVERYTHING.  I like the idea someone posed about having interleague play, something else that makes sense, and then the ASG winner.  2 out of 3 got you home field advantage for the WS.  It would make it a minor part of the equation and still make it real and fun.  I know.  I am reaching.
  46. So, yes I saw Harper’s cleats, Molina’s attire, and the cell phone pic.
  47. I don’t feel like looking it up again, so I will assume what I read was true.  The MLB ASG matchup is now 43-43 with both leagues scoring exactly 361 runs.  Amazing.  That is even WITH the recent AL dominance.
  48. If that is wrong, you know why I need an intern.  Image result for kramerica intern
  49. If you haven’t seen One Night Only with Alec Baldwin, then…you are just missing out.  Take an evening and watch it.  Awesome stuff all around.  Image result for one night only alec baldwin
  50. Seriously about the Amazon thing.  I got distracted by something and then remembered Lindsey took a liking to something on FB.  I just ordered the freaking thing on Amazon.  Less than $15 and it will be here on Saturday.  Amazing.  Ugghhh.
  51. Jordan is entering the Marlins bid process?  Great.  Guess we get to hear about THIS for another month.  Can’t wait.
  52. Iverson game is next.  Of course, I already know who won and looked at the box score, but seeing Iverson on the court just gives me CHILLS.  Love that guy.  Image result for allen iverson
  53. He ended up 7th all time in scoring average per game, but fans know he was above 30 until he lost a step.
  54. Come on,m Megatron.  I love you, man.  But, no reason to throw the Lions and Mr. Stafford under the bus as you are leaving.  Sure, you have a time proven backing that the Lions probably won’t win anytime soon.  But, WITH you, you guys weren’t bad.  You made the playoffs.  You were in the mix.  Just say it was because of injuries or whatever.  Let the Megatron in the news be whatever the hell is going on in the Transformers movies these days.  Is Megatron still around?  I have no clue.  Image result for transformers movie megatron
  55. With Rondo being out there, am I allowed to bet AGAINST whoever gets him…for as long as he is on the team?  He got lucky once with a fortress of HOF’ers.  There will not be a second ride.  Don’t sign him, people, unless you pay him peanuts.
  56. L.A. is going to get a future Olympics?  Sweet.  I would have loved to leave the country to go to one, but that hasn’t panned out.  Thanks for making it out West and near a beach.  Appreciated.  See you there.
  57. The Fuego Box, the greatest gift anyone could ever give someone who puts hot sauce on most things in life, has arrived.  I am beyond excited to pop those bad boys open this weekend and dump them on everything.  Odd, hard to find hot sauces with a story behind all of them.  Badass gift.  Image result for the fuego box
  58. I probably will get my ride checked on this weekend.  Running great, but I will be spending a lot more time in the thing driving everyone everywhere, so might as well get her a check up.  I have said it before and I will say it again.  I could sell $3 mil this year at my job.  I will NOT be buying another vehicle no matter what my bank account says and will ride this thing until she is done.  I love my 2005 4Runner so much (no name yet-still working on it as it has to come naturally).
  59. I LOVE water parks.  Love them.  I love water in general.  Anyway, apparently there is one guy out there who likes them, but is worried about his welfare besides baby pee when going.  http://deadspin.com/bills-dt-adolphus-washington-arrested-on-weapons-charge-1796797393
  60. Speaking of water and pools, I bet you this was one HELL of a party.  http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/a-trip-to-the-only-outdoor-public-pool-in-brussels-whi-1796807553
  61. Madison Bumgarner is done rehab and ready to play.  I guess this means the Giants are about to make their usual postseason push.
  62. Not many things make me as happy as a new watch.  Typically, because the name is water oriented, I like Nautica ones.  In one of my weekend Amazon binges, I decided to get a watch for me (because everything else was NEEDED, you see).  This is my new baby.  Go figure.  It has blue on it.
  63. Never mind.  I couldn’t find the picture.  It is a black watch with lots of dials and bright blue numbers on it.  It is awesome (and was cheap because I found it on…Amazon).
  64. Listen, I don’t have bartabs anymore.  I can buy some dumb stuff.  Less money than I would spend on booze without a doubt.
  65. So, Tim H. just has to improve on EVERYTHING, but the Knicks will still give him $71 mil. Got it.  Hell of a well run org right now.  http://deadspin.com/an-inspiring-quote-from-a-guy-the-knicks-will-pay-71-m-1796785401
  66. I have your back for all useful AND useless info.  This is Mr. Embiid holding a baseball.  http://deadspin.com/behold-joel-embid-and-a-regular-sized-baseball-1796795750
  67. Do you remember not long ago when Halep, Azarenka, Kerber were shoo in semifinalists and Coco Vandeweghe was the next coming in tennis?
  68. I just feel like I will be rude if I comment on the Nassar story.  Make your own jokes and start your own gray area blog.
  69. Oh.  One other thing on Floyd.  I have a feeling that he has the $22.7 mil he owes in tax money in either his white or black mansion, but he can’t find it.  Probably under the mattress on the 4th floor of the black one, Floyd.  Have a cleaning day.  Well, I guess you would have to have TWO cleaning days with a flight in the middle.  Here is the white car mansion.  Image result for floyd mayweathers black mansion
  70. As Hall & Oates once said, So Close, Yet So Far Away. http://deadspin.com/we-are-all-kyle-freelands-mom-1796769848
  71. Oh shit, Ice Cube is doing It’s a Good Day at halftime of this last Big 3 game.  Night has been MADE.  Image result for ice cube good day
  72. Well, I got a free chicken wrap today at work with pesto mayo, so that made it already an ok day.  I am the trash can for leftover food at work.
  73. How convenient.  They reviewed the Pacquaio decision and a close 3 out of 5 votes supported the decision.  Way to make us think you thought about it at least.  Thanks.
  74. I get that Votto is buying Cozart a donkey, but must have missed WHY the guy WANTED a donkey in the first place.
  75. Cute story and all after a child was born, but was more hoping Bielema butt dialed the SEC Commish drunk at a bar at 2am.
  76. We had an assorted bagel box at work on Monday like we always do, and…for the millionth time, where did pumpernickel go?  Why can’t I find bread on the main shelves at a grocery store?  Why is not ONE pumpernickel bagel included in an assorted pack?  I was HOOKED on pumpernickel as a kid and eat it still RELIGIOUSLY.  I would eat everything on it if given the choice.  Just confused on where it went and why it didn’t catch on more.  You can throw this confusion in the same batch as my confusion of why tuna is so expensive in cans in the grocery store.  Are they really hard to catch these days?  Why so much?  I just want some natural protein for Pete’s sake.  Image result for pumpernickel bread
  77. For those of you who hoped me being on the wagon meant I would have less random thoughts and ideas, it just gets worse.  The clarity has my mind going a million miles an hour all day, and all night unfortunately, as my dreams are jacked up these days.
  78. British Open preview, NBA Summer League review thus far, and many some other items still to come over weekend.
  79. TBIJAER.  MLIASRN. H.
  80. Theme?  During the Baldwin show, they played THE scene from GGR.  Awesome still, or maybe it is just because I am a career sales guy.  And, I noticed it was on that movie list I showed with my colleagues.  Haven’t see THE scene?  You need to.  Watch.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4PE2hSqVnk
  81. SERIOUSLY.  CLICK on it.  You don’t have 7 minutes?  Ok.  Just watch the first three and see if you can stop.  Can’t.
  82. Oh, WAIT.  I forgot the items I skipped.  The ESPY’s.  Hello.  Let’s cover that quickly.  First of all, Peyton Manning was good I thought.  I admit to tuning out after the first 40 minutes or so, as I consider the ESPY’s a celebration and congregation of stars for shit I have already seen in my sports watching for the year.  Therefore, I catch a little, read who won the next day, and read who was funny or messed up.  Anyway, about his initial takes.
  83. Peyton did what my best man did at my wedding.  Because he knew he had to be nice and was expected to be nice, he said “I can’t use this joke” or “I can’t tell THIS story.”  Basically, he did a disclaimer before toasting people.  I liked it.
  84. The Peyton retirement thing after the monologue was clever-reminded me of Kramer in the old folks home in Del Boca Vista, beating up on the old people who SHOULD be there.  Funny stuff.
  85. My favorite joke aside from the KD one obviously was the Falcons one.  Saying he has to tell it first thing in the show, as the Falcons might lose interest 3/4 of the way through was brilliant.
  86. Side note:  Edelman saying Peyton was doing a good job, BUT that it was because it was indoors might have been the funniest thing all night.
  87. Loved how Peyton said he enjoyed not being in control of everything and then giving cues for everyone.  Why didn’t he bust out an Omaha?  Was that joke later in the show?
  88. I thought John Cena might run up on stage when Peyton said he wasn’t an athlete.  Wow.
  89. The KD thing.  Listen.  I heard they said he was IN on it today.  BS.  That was a real look.  I thought he was joking, but then when he didn’t break face, I was like WHOA.  He is pissed.  Can’t fake that look.  Well deserved buddy.  Sorry.  You got your MVP and ring.  Enjoy it but you will get backlash.  Should have played it off and laughed so we could kind of like you again.  Not to be.  His look will rival Michael Jordan’s crying face as the years go by I predict.  I couldn’t get enough of the parodies today with that face.  And the T-Shirt.  It will live forever in that casual T-Shirt.  Perfect.  AND, it got better today with Peyton’s apology.  Classic.  All in all?  Well done, Peyton.  You came across as yourself, poked fun at yourself, and still started a social media feeding frenzy.  https://www.facebook.com/officialthekicker/videos/889704951195359/
  90. That’s it for today.  Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Will I blog again?   That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.
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