22.5

  1. Greetings and salutations, people.  Thanks for coming aboard (the boat).  Let’s turn and burn.
  2. I am out of town in Dallas this weekend checking off a thing on my bucket list.  I have to pack, after a full work week (day and night).  Therefore, we will do this thing with ONE sentence hooks.  One sentence only.  Let’s move.
  3. Backwards on the list as always…
  4. Goodell’s wife started an anonymous Twitter account to defend her husband, which is adorable, and I guess makes sure to everyone that the most grossly overpaid job in the world looks as shady as POSSIBLE to the masses.
  5. Pinch me, as the UVA football team is playing another team they can possibly beat (UNC) and could move to 5-1 on the year.
  6. College football playoff here we come (lol), and although I don’t like the BroncoS, I like Bronco.  Image result for virginia bronco mendenhall
  7. I really can’t go to Dallas with my Sooner wife with my one OU shirt and drinking the Kool-Aid of THIS video…  https://oklahoma.247sports.com/Bolt/WATCH-OU-releases-amazing-Red-River-Showdown-hype-video-108736833/
  8. Shame neither team is in the CFP mix, but a rivalry is…a rivalry.
  9. Plus, I like state fairs, and Texas I assume is the top of THAT heap.  Image result for texas state fair
  10. I am dangerous at fairs with the “skill games,” and guess I should be glad that winning a huge stuffed animal for my wife would not be logistically sound for the trip back with TSA.
  11. My work motor is like that of someone 20 years my younger, and it is scary the increased motor on THAT motor from not drinking along with me chuckling all day while everyone else was slow on the uptick after a night of drinking at our work conference.
  12. In at 630 this morning, and let’s do it again tomorrow, peeps.
  13. Jordan chimed in on “superteams” and I agree with him, and you can TRY and hate MJ, but the fact remains that Kukoc and Rodman were the only “acquired” high profile assets his team ever got for their run.
  14. Can you IMAGINE Larry Bird wanting to team UP with Magic?  Image result for larry bird vs magic johnson
  15. They had problems even shooting a freaking COMMERCIAL together and hanging out o the set.  Image result for larry bird magic johnson television commercial
  16. Aaron Rodgers stole the hearts of all Cowboys fans and then they get the news on Elliott today…when it rains it pours.
  17. Rodgers probably did a rain dance or something to add insult to injury for them, or signed another long term commercial insurance company contract.  Image result for rodgers commercial
  18. I know that wasn’t that funny, but do you know how HARD it is to be funny ALL the time?
  19. Ovechkin is only on pace for a tiny 164 goals now…slacker.
  20. At our work conference, we had donut board, and I had no idea that this was “a thing.”  
  21. Instead of everyone touching the donuts, I guess one trusted gloved person touching ALL of them is better.
  22. Pretty impressive for a small company, my CEO thinks we will be Google, I believe him and that is why I work so hard, and this is a group of people who CHOSE to go see a vendor in their headquarters, which you don’t see very often.  
  23. The free food around the office was off the charts this week, and that makes me and my two stomachs very, very happy.
  24. (two stomachs-I designed from scratch a pizza stomach in case I eat a meal and someone around me has free pizza that shouldn’t be wasted)  Image result for pizza
  25. Derek Carr returns so POSSIBLY we will see the Raiders we all expected to see (and my bet sheet expected to see).  Image result for derek carr television commercial
  26. You need to read this more often, as I already covered the above photo you have probably never seen.
  27. The USMNT didn’t make the World Cup, it is totally embarrassing, I am very, very sad, and be glad, USMNT, that I am only doing one sentence hooks today.
  28. Unless you live in a bubble, you heard this.  https://www.sbnation.com/soccer/2017/10/10/16457134/world-cup-2018-usa-vs-trinidad-and-tobago-taylor-twellman-rant-sportscenter
  29. I tend to find the positive in everything, so at least Fox Sports totally lost out on this.
  30. We all go and have drinks with people from Chile next summer.
  31. Portugal and Argentina stepped up to the mic like they were expected to.
  32. I don’t even know how to pronounce Trinidad and Tobago.
  33. I mean the first word, yes…it’s the other one I keep hearing different pissed off pronunciations for.
  34. Just like the Warriors broke NBA basketball, I guess they want to break the ASG too, as Curry says he would probably select his teammates as his fellow ASG team players…adorable.
  35. I love that just when we started hating Cam Newton again for sexist comments, and when Auburn is looking like one of the best 1 or 2 one loss teams, an exam probe comes out for the school.
  36. War Eagle.  Image result for auburn war eagle
  37. SO cool of a tradition, and if you have ever heard Jim Rome talk about this, then you have truly lived (and were a clone at one time).  Image result for jim rome
  38. Kyrie Irving says Boston is a “real, live sports city,” as I guess if you are not satisfied with pissing off the players and coaches, you might as well shoot the moon by pissing off the fans and city TOO.  Image result for kyrie irving tv commercial old man
  39. Catching the city of Cleveland at a good time too with the Browns being the Browns and the Indians somehow blowing THEIR series…
  40. At least they have the Buckeyes…
  41. Deep thoughts by Jack Handy:  when the NFLPA meets about the anthem issue, will they sit or stand for the meeting?
  42. That was kind of funny…come on.
  43. NBA preseason is as useless as every other sport’s preseason except for one thing…the absolutely glorious sound of Hubie Brown’s voice doing a game.  Image result for hubie brown
  44. I ALMOST watched the game.
  45. Did you see the James Harden look-a-like on The Voice, and was anyone else really, really sad when no one turned around?  Image result for the voice james harden
  46. Props to my buddy and colleague, Ben, who paid up a forgotten drunk big bet this week from years ago, as he somehow gave me odds I couldn’t refuse by betting on his Browns against the Steelers and Indians a year and a half ago…good dude, and thanks.  
  47. But a bet IS a bet, no matter how many shots were consumed before.
  48. I once was drunk at a bar, was talking trash about how bad the free throw shooting was, someone bet me I couldn’t make 15 of 20 for $100, went down the street and took his money…with about 15 people watching us on a random street court.
  49. My work row filled in some of the empty chairs and the odd nature of my row now has myself, Andrew, and Brett (non-filtered work laughter) with FWI in the City talk about girl stuff.  Image result for sec and the city
  50. Everyone goes on streaks of saying cliches (I assume) and I have been saying for work and in personal situations “frame it up” WAY too much.
  51. My usual work word is “fundamentally.”
  52. A.P. goes to Arizona, I don’t think that will work either, but he will be a helluva trivia question someday 50 years from now.
  53. Slow ass Carson needs a lateral guy behind him.
  54. Not saying they can keep it up, but if the Vegas Golden Nights aren’t the NHL story of the year, I don’t know WHAT is.
  55. And this pregame thing was SOOOOO cool and thoughtful.  Image result for golden knights pregame mandalay bay
  56. I sort of understand why Kaep doesn’t have a job (he should without a doubt), but how does ANY NHL team NOT sign Jagr, even at 46 years young?  Image result for jaromir jagr
  57. Plus, we still need an old school mullet guy in the NHL.
  58. Keep THIS guy on his toes.  Image result for mike gundy
  59. Stop tweeting in general, Mr. Trump, but DEFINITELY stay away from talking more about Jemele Hill…common sense.
  60. We didn’t think you could get in the holes you have already dug, but THIS is WAY bad of a situation.
  61. The Broncos play the beaten up Giants this weekend, they will win, and at least Eli can blame his inconsistencies this year on no one to throw for.
  62. I am on the neighborhood email list (more on point to say I don’t how I got ON it and am too lazy too figure out how to get off it) and tell me this headline wouldn’t catch YOUR eye enough to put it in some useless blog you write about anything and everything.  
  63. I am not a Gator fan by any means, and definitely NOT a fashion guru, but is it bad that I kind of LIKE these????  
  64. I find it very, very weird that the Evil Empire that is the Yankees now are kind of like a Cinderella in sports right now.
  65. Oregon State is parting ways with its football coach, and I find it very dark humor funny that the guy they are parting ways with had the head coach gig at Wisconsin and made the lateral move to Oregon State oddly.
  66. I call it a lateral move when you aren’t accomplishing any elevation in your career.
  67. I love Embiid as a pure basketball player, but I am assuming the injury part of his contract is detailed, long, and full of what if’s.
  68. Browns fans are excited about Kevin Hogan starting this week, and I have said it before and will say it again…the most promising QB on the Browns roster is the one that hasn’t played yet.  Image result for browns jersey qb's
  69. The Cubs went from being no-hit to winning, and I am sure this has to do with some other curse we barely know about.
  70. I have said it before and will say it again:  if you know someone who likes hot sauce, get them The Fuego Box, as it is an amazing (and not too expensive) gift.  Image result for the fuego box
  71. Well, the Dolphins were underachieving of course, but at least we know ONE coach was wide awake, talkative, and interactive during the team meetings.  Image result for chris foerster powder
  72. JJ Watt injury doesn’t just hurt the Texans, as it hurts the state of Texas and football in general…love that guy…we all do.
  73. So, Mike Pence bought tickets to a football game as if he didn’t see the writing on the wall, and then left before the game STARTED???
  74. I have all of my players in fantasy this week, meaning I can lose like a normal person does and wish I had another league entry somewhere.
  75. I was lazy and didn’t submit any waivers this week…whoops.  
  76. God Bless the Chargers, as they are ALWAYS good for ONE thing…losing or winning very close games, which is why their point spreads are usually 3.5 or 2.5 minus or plus, or 6.5 or 7.5 minus or plus. 
  77. I have never been so glad to lose a four game parlay as I was watching that Aaron Rodgers drive with a minute and change left, as sometimes you just need to step away from the bets and enjoy football and legends for what they are.
  78. Leonard Fournette ran in the game this weekend faster than any player this year (remember people complaining about his weight like he was Eddie Lacy??), 22.5 MPH, and hence the theme as that is about how fast this thing was typed without grammatical corrections.
  79. The headline asked if he was a cheetah, which wins the theme of the week over the Red River Shootout because the cheetah is a top 3 animal for me and I once quit a bar job because they asked asked us to make animal sounds, I made the Cheetah’s when everyone else was expecting a growl, and I walked out after lunch.
  80. 22.5 MPH is how fast I typed this is where I was going with this whole thing.
  81. And by the way… 
  82. My cheetah would kick his ass.
  83. UL-Lafayette-Texas State was the college night game, so thank God for Game 5 of the Nats-Cubs series and this high quality NFL game tonight.
  84. I did a cross sport parlay on the under and Nats to keep myself entertained.
  85. Oh, and a separate bet on the Panthers buying the 1/2 pt.
  86. Titans Rishard Matthews says he would rather quit the NFL than stand for the anthem, and soon as I confirm he would keep his job WITHOUT standing, I will get back to you on a comment.
  87. I guess Jerry Jones isn’t negotiating a deal for Matthews…just a hunch.
  88. I will do NBA, MLB playoff, NFL, and NHL predictions next week when I have more bandwidth.
  89. And sorry, no time for weekend football predictions.
  90. Winding this up. I am here is you need me.  Image result for red river shootout
  91. That’s it for today.  Hope you enjoyed or are more informed.  Will I blog again?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.
  92. Talk to you Sunday afternoon when I conveniently get back in time to watch my inconsistent Steelers BEAT the unbeaten Chiefs (it will happen, people…HAS to).
  93. Image result for steelers chiefs
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